Mike's Movie Tips

2/4 Starring: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Derek Jacobi, Oliver Reed, Djimon Hounsou, Richard Harris The version being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the original version is rated R for Intense, Graphic Combat "Gladiator" is one of those movies that everyone seems to like but me (although neither Roger Ebert nor my local film critic liked it either).  It's only fair, I suppose, since there are plenty of movies that I like that everyone else hated.  The line between an emotional epic, like " Braveheart ," and one that misses the mark, like " Pompeii ," is pretty thin.  So I guess I'm not surprised that it worked for a lot of people.  I will, however, say that the decision to award it the Best Picture Oscar is an embarrassment (my vote went to "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," although any of the films that year was more deserving than this). The premise is great for a larger-than-life spectacle: as the vil

1/4 Starring: Caity Lotz, Casper Van Dien, Hayley Hudson, Kathleen Rose Perkins, Agnes Bruckner Rated R for Some Strong Bloody Violence and Language In order to enjoy "The Pact," you have to be both inattentive and stupid, although I'm not sure if that will help.  More testing is required, but doing so would probably be outlawed by the Geneva Convention.  This is a really bad movie.  It's dumb, nonsensical and so boring it threatens catatonia. Nichole (Bruckner) is having a rough time.  She's gotten sober and has temporarily left her daughter Eva (Dakota Bright) with a friend.  And her mother has died, but their relationship was terrible, so she's doing the planning out of obligation than love.  Then when she goes to check on something in a dark place, she goes missing.  After three days, her friend Liz (Perkins) is worried.  Then she goes missing too, and something invisible has scared the living hell out of Nichole's sister, Annie (Lotz).  She go

3/4 Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Ron Livingston, Lili Taylor Rated R for Sequences of Disturbing Violence and Terror I've always wondered what it would be like to live in a haunted house.  On some level, I think it would be kind of cool.  It would be at least an interesting story to tell at parties (whether I could get someone to believe me would depend on how many drinks that person has had.  Probably.).  Most paranormal instances seem to be relatively benign: flashes of light, changes in temperature, spectral sightings that are there one moment and gone the next.  Then again, after watching what happens to the Perron family, maybe it wouldn't be such a hot idea. It's 1971.  Roger (Livingston) and Carolyn (Taylor) have just moved into a lakeside cottage with their five daughters.  From the moment they get there, things seem a little off.  The dog won't go inside.  Strange smells are coming from a room upstairs, and someone is pulling one of the girls

2.5/4 Starring (voices): Daniel Craig, Catherine McCormack, Jonathan Pryce, Ian Holm, Romola Garai Rated R for Violent Images, Sexuality, Nudity and Language " Sin City " was a comic book come to life.  So is "Renaissance," albeit in a different way.  Robert Rodriguez used CGI and real actors with the panels from the comics used as templates for his camera shots.  "Renaissance" used motion capture technology and computers to make it seem like a black and white comic book come to life.  The result is astounding; it's so great that the film is almost worth seeing just for that.  If only the same could be said for the plot... Paris, 2054.  A young scientist named Illona Tasuiev (Garai) has been kidnapped.  Detective Barthelemy Karas (Crag) is on the case.  Of course, the more he investigates, the greater the danger. "Renaissance," which has nothing to do with the historical time period, is a futuristic detective story.  Karas meets all

3/4 Starring: Brendan Fraser, Jenna Elfman, Steve Martin, Timothy Dalton, and the voice of Joe Alasky Rated PG for Some Mild Language and Innuendo To me, the Looney Tunes were the ultimate cartoons.  They were clever, well drawn, and often very funny.  The Disney canon was sweet, but they didn't make me laugh as often or as hard.  It's a pity that today's kids are growing up with the utter garbage on Cartoon Network, but I digress... Anyway, after their stint playing basketball in "Space Jam," which I liked as a kid, but haven't seen since, the Looney Tunes are back in their own big budget movie.  This time, the filmmakers were truer to the source material.  Really, the only way to describe it is a cross between "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and " Scary Movie " (I'm only speaking in terms of structure...there's nothing in this movie that isn't entirely suitable for the whole family).  The connecting story is a spy spoof, bu

3/4 Starring: Daniel Craig, Rhys Ifans, Samantha Morton, Bill Nighy, Susan Lynch Rated R for Language, Some Violence and a Disturbing Image The trailer, and the premise, of "Enduring Love" make it seem to be a British art-house version of " Fatal Attraction ," but that's not a fair representation of the film.  While there is a stalking situation in the film, it's a subplot.  The film's main focus is on how tragedy and guilt can warp a man's life. It was a beautiful day.  Joe (Craig) and Claire (Morton) are having a picnic in the English countryside.  Just when things are getting romantic, Claire spies a balloon in trouble.  They rush to help, and Joe tries to bring the balloon down to save a young boy inside.  A gust of wind sends it soaring into the air, however, and Joe and the others let go.  Only one man stays, but eventually he falls to the ground and is killed instantly. Joe is reeling from the accident, suffering from survivor's

3/4 Starring: Sarah Drew, Patricia Heaton, Andrea Logan White, Abbie Cobb, Sean Astin, Trace Adkins, David Hunt, Alex Kendrick, Kevin Downes Rated PG for Mild Thematic Elements and Some Action When I learned that "Moms' Night Out" was a Christian film, I dreaded going to see this movie.  Thoughts of something wretched like " God's Not Dead " flooded my mind.  But, as a film critic, I had to see it (if nothing else, it would help fill up my Bottom 10 list).  To my surprise, not only was "Moms' Night Out" eons better than the previously mentioned disaster, it's actually a good movie.  It's fun, fast-paced, and frequently very funny. Allyson (Drew) is a young mom of three children.  She's a blogger about family life (although no one reads it) and raising her wild children is driving her to the point of a breakdown (it doesn't help that she's a clean freak and a worry wart).  Noticing that her two friends, Izzy (White) a

3/4 Starring: Chris Evans, Chyler Leigh, Jamie Pressly, Eric Christian Olsen, Deon Richmond, Mia Kirshner, Eric Jungmann, Ron Lester The version being reviewed is the unrated one.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Crude Sexual Content and Humor, Language and Some Drug Content I'm almost ashamed to admit that I liked this movie.  I laughed, and laughed, and laughed.  I'm ashamed to admit it because the humor is so dumb.  I mean really dumb.  Now, " Scary Movie ," which brought the spoof genre back to life (to which we owe Friedberg and Selzter's careers to), was not known for sophisticated humor.  But compared to this, it was in Merchant/Ivory territory (if they ever made a sex comedy).  This stuff is so stupid and brainless that I'm surprised that I was laughing all the way through it.  Oh well. It's really pointless to discuss the plot, since that's the least important part of any spoof.  "Not Another Teen Movie&qu

1/4 Starring: Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron, Dave Franco, Ike Barinholtz Rated R for Pervasive Language, Strong Crude and Sexual Content, Graphic Nudity, and Drug Use Throughout This is a letter to Seth Rogen, star and co-producer of "Neighbors." Dear Seth, SHUT UP! God, do you even know how to stop talking anymore?  I know that you started out as a stand-up comic when you were 13, and you probably like to improvise, but seriously dude.  There is such a thing as overkill, and you cross the line a lot in this movie.  A whole lot.  The great William Shakespeare once said, "Brevity is the soul of wit."  You should think about that the next time you make a movie. The concept is a pretty good one for a comedy.  You play Mac (Rogen), who is married to Kelly (Byrne...good choice here) and you have a cute baby named Stella (Elise and Zoey Vargas).  You've moved into a happy home when all the sudden you have neighbors.  Instead of the gay neighbors you

3/4 Starring: Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Aitana Sanchez-Gijon, John Sharian, Michael Ironside Rated R for Violence and Disturbing Images, Sexuality and Language "The Machinist" is probably best described as a member of the "mindfuck" genre.  It's a movie that messes with the lead character's head...and yours.  Oddly enough, I was re-watching "Black Swan" earlier tonight, which is also a member of this genre.  "The Machinist" isn't as good, but for those who like these kinds of movies, it's a well-spent 100 minutes. Trevor Reznik (Bale) hasn't slept in a year.  He's exhausted (obviously), and emaciated to the point where people tell him, "If you were any thinner, you wouldn't exist."  Trevor is also a loner...the only people he has much contact with are Stevie (Leigh), a prostitute who loves him, and Maria (Sanchez-Gijon), the waitress goes out of his way to see.  But lately, some strange th

2.5/4 Starring: Josh Meyers, Krysten Ritter, Eugene Byrd, Lindsay Richards, Ian Somerhalder Rated R for Strong Sexual Content including Graphic Dialogue, and for Language There is a sense that "How to Make Love to a Woman" should be a lot funnier than it actually is.  Whenever the film goes for laughs, it's not nearly as uproarious as it wants to be.  At best, it manages to get a chuckle.  It is, however, surprisingly sweet. Andy Connors (Meyers, brother of SNL star Seth Meyers) is a talent agent living in Los Angeles.  He's dating a raven-haired beauty named Lauren (Ritter), but there's a problem.  He's not good in bed.  He's done after six seconds, which leaves Lauren unsatisfied.  Fearing a break-up, he decides to go with his friend Layne (Byrd) to ask people how to be better in bed.  Meanwhile, Lauren has a job opportunity to die for in Chicago, and her boss (Ken Jeong) is hoping that an old neighbor named Daniel (Somerhalder) will convince her

3/4 Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Sally Hawkins, David Strathairn, Bryan Cranston, Juliette Binoche Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Destruction, Mayhem and Creature Violence Godzilla is probably one of the most famous movie monsters.  Put him on the same list as Dracula, Frankenstein and the Xenomorph.  He's a far different kind of creature, but he's still big and scary (emphasis on big).  He's received a number of big screen appearances over the years (most have been reported to be very campy) after his debut in 1954.  His last big budget movie was in the 1998 film directed by Roland Emmerich and starring Matthew Broderick.  I'm pretty sure I saw it, but I don't remember any part of it.  By all accounts it was a travesty.  I was actually wary of this film due to last year's kaiju movie, " Pacific Rim ."  Fortunately, Gareth Edwards has a greater interest in telling a story instead of making a bloated, movie

3/4 Starring: Iain De Caestecker, Alice Englert Rated R for Some Disturbing Violent Content and Terror, and for Language Ask anyone who knows me, and I can guarantee you they will agree on (at least) one thing: I am terrible with directions.  I get lost so easily, and making matters worse, that's my biggest phobia.  That's probably the main reason why I responded to "In Fear," a largely improvised horror film.  That, and it has some terrific performances doesn't hurt at all. Tom (De Caestecker) and Lucy (Englert) are going to meet some friends at a concert in Ireland.  They have been dating for two weeks, but are comfortable with one another.  As a romantic gesture, Tom arranges for them to spend the night at an out of the way motel and head to the concert tomorrow.  Lucy agrees, and a truck from the hotel agrees to guide them.  He ditches them halfway, and it isn't long before the two are lost.  And that's when the real terror starts. "In F

1.5/4 Starring: Oprah Winfrey, Kimberly Elise, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton Rated R for Violent Images, Sexuality and Nudity It really sucks when you have to trash a movie that is a passion project for someone involved.  Either because you like them as an actor/filmmaker or because you know how hard it is to get a film off the ground, especially if it's not a guaranteed blockbuster.  For years, Oprah Winfrey wanted to bring Toni Morrison's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel to the screen.  Unfortunately, judging by the result of her passion and hard work, it probably should have stayed a novel. Sethe (Winfrey) is an ex-slave who lives with her daughter Denver (Elise) on the outskirts of Cincinnati.  Their house is haunted, but when Sethe's old friend Paul D (Glover) comes, it goes away.  That's when they meet a mysterious young woman who calls herself Beloved (Newton).  Sethe forms a motherly bond with her almost instantly while Denver is ambivalent.  Paul D doesn'

3/4 Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, John Cleese, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin, Tom Georgeson, Maria Aitkin Rated R (probably for Strong Language, Sex-Related Material and Some Violence) I've seen "A Fish Called Wanda" three times now, and this is the first time I've liked it.  I guess British humor is an acquired taste.  But watching "Death at a Funeral" and " Burke and Hare ," two comedies so hilarious that a person would have to be dead in order to sit completely stone faced through them, will do that to a guy. The film has a terrific set-up for a madcap screwball comedy.  Four thieves are intending to relieve a bank of some jewels.  George (Georgeson) is the brains, Otto (Kline) is the brawn, Ken (Palin) is the support, and Wanda (Curtis) is the getaway driver.  The robbery goes off without a hitch, until Otto and Wanda (whom everyone thinks are siblings but are actually lovers) make a call to the police and finger George for the crime.  Their

3.5/4 Starring: William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Nancy Olson, Erich von Stroheim Not Rated "Sunset Blvd." is really a sad story.  I wouldn't call it depressing, but it definitely has a sense of melancholy about it.  It makes sense; after all the central character is a faded star who is teetering on the edge of insanity, and the "hero" takes advantage of her for her money.  But it's really about the realization that the glory days are behind you. Joe Gillis (Holden) is a screenwriter who can't get a job.  His car is about to be repossessed, so he's desperate.  While on the run from the guys who intend on collecting it, Joe gets a flat tire and pulls into the driveway of an old mansion.  He thinks it's deserted, but it's not.  It's tenant is none other than Norma Desmond (Swanson), one of the most famous silent movie stars.  She thinks he's there to bury her beloved chimpanzee, but when she hears that he's a writer, she insis

1.5/4 Starring: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Kate Upton, Niki Minaj, Taylor Kinney, Don Johnson Rated PG-13 for Mature Thematic Material, Sexual References and Lanaguage At the heart of "The Other Woman" is a good idea: three women discover they're sleeping with the same man, and then band together to get revenge.  Unfortunately as countless movies have proved, a good premise does not necessarily mean a good movie. Carly (Diaz) is a successful lawyer with a history of bad relationships with men.  But as she tells her sassy secretary Lydia (Minaj), she thinks that this latest one is a keeper.  His name is Mark (Coster-Waldau).  He's smart, sexy and totally into her.  But when he has to postpone a dinner date with her father because of a plumbing accident, she's had it.  Then her father (Johnson) tells her to give him the benefit of the doubt, and go to his house to help him out (and get in some extra credit, if you get my drift).  She do

3/4 Starring: Karina Testa, Aurelien Wiik, Maud Forget, David Saracino, Chems Dahmani, Jean-Pierre Jorris The version being reviewed is the unrated one.  For the record, the original cut was rated NC-17 for Extreme Sadistic Graphic Violence and Gore "Frontier(s)" will only appeal to those who have a high tolerance for violence and horror.  This is an extremely violent horror film that will turn off most of the people who view it.  "Saw" has nothing on this movie. A group of thieves have been interrupted in their getaway.  One of them, Sami (Adel Bencherif) has been shot and is gravely injured.  They split up with Yasmine (Testa) and Alex (Wiik) taking Sami to a hospital while Tom (Saracino) and Farid (Dahmani) head for a B&B on their way to Amsterdam.  It is there that they run into a horrific family of neo-Nazis who will literally put them through hell. How can I describe how violent this movie is?  I don't think I can.  A lot of this stuff, such

3/4 Starring: David Strathairn, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Vanessa Martinez Rated R for Language There's really not much of a plot to John Sayles' 1999 film "Limbo," another movie that I had a fascination with but haven't seen until now.  It simply follows three different characters for about two hours.  I like these kinds of movies as long as the acting is strong and the characters are interesting.  That's the case here. Donna De Angelo (Mastrantonio) is a small-time singer with a history of bad relationships.  She moves from place to place so she can keep singing, and takes her teenage daughter Noelle (Martinez) along for the ride.  They're now in a small town in Alaska, where Donna has just moved out of her boyfriend's house.  Almost immediately, she meets Joe Gastineau (Strathairn), a soft-spoken man who also has a bad past. Saying more would spoil the film, and yet at the same time would be completely pointless.  These characters are t

3/4 Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Jamie Renee Smith, Jeremy Foley, Charles Hallahan, Elizabeth Hoffman Rated PG-13 for Disaster-Related Peril and Gore When I was growing up, we had a box of VHS tapes (how times have changed...) that could only be watched on family movie night.  We had two cabinets in the basement for "lesser" movies to sate my voracious appetite for movies, but the ones upstairs were the Holy Grail.  " True Lies ," " The Peacemaker ," " Tommy Boy ," and "Air Force One" were included among them.  So was "Dante's Peak."  It's not as strong of a film as the others, but it's still damn entertaining. Harry Dalton (Brosnan...surely it can't be a coincidence that he shares the surname of Timothy Dalton, one of his James Bond predecessors) is a volcanologist based out of Washington.  A few years after an eruption killed his girlfriend, his boss tells him to head to Dante's Peak

2/4 Starring: Josh Hartnett, Gackt, Woody Harrelson, Kevin McKidd, Ron Pearlman, Demi Moore Rated R for Bloody Violence and Language " Sin City " meets "West Side Story." Sounds intriguing, doesn't it?  I had no idea what to expect when I put in "Bunraku," a direct-to-DVD movie with a good cast and some cool images on the back.  The latter is the best part of the movie.  It looks great, like a comic book/video game hybrid as a stage musical.  And it would be as awesome and weird as it sounds, except for the fact that the story is completely incoherent. And I don't mean incoherent in ways that only an astute film critic would see.  I mean incoherent to the extent where only about 10 minutes of the film makes any sense.  And it's a two hour movie. This is a post-apocalyptic action movie, that much is clear.  After all the wars and murders, everyone decided to bury every gun ever made.  The most powerful man on the East Coast is Nicola

3.5/4 Starring: Linda Fiorentino, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Alan Rickman, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, George Carlin Rated R for Strong Language including Sex-Related Dialogue, Violence, Crude Humor, and Some Drug Content "Dogma" is a comedy about ideas.  That's an extremely rare thing to find.  It would be too easy for Kevin Smith to spend a surprisingly quick 2+ hours taking cheap potshots at religion,  but fortunately he doesn't take the easy way out.  Rather, he finds humor in the philosophy of religion and his characters' viewpoints. Bartleby (Affleck) and Loki (Damon) are two fallen angels who have found a loophole to get them back into heaven.  Of course, this presents a problem for everyone because it would render God fallible, thus destroying our entire reality.  That's when Bethany (Fiorentino) gets a visit from Metatron, The Voice of God (Rickman), who tells her to head to New Jersey to stop them.  She has hel

2/4 Starring: Greg Kinnear, Willem Dafoe, Maria Bello, Ron Leibman, Rita Wilson Rated R for Strong Sexuality, Nudity, Language, Some Drug Use and Violence A thought kept recurring in my head while I was watching "Auto Focus:"  Who cares? There is one thing that a film must do in order for it to work.  It must make the audience care about the characters and the story that they find themselves in.  "Auto Focus" doesn't do that.  The characters aren't interesting and the story isn't effectively realized.  It's just boring. Bob Crane (Kinnear) is a radio jockey who hopes to have his acting career take off.  Although initially reluctant to take a TV role, much less a comedy set in a POW camp, he accepts the role of Robert Hogan on "Hogan's Heroes."  The show became a massive hit, and but he did not handle stardom well.  His marriage ended, and he lost control of his life to sex addiction, and was ultimately murdered with a camera t

2.5/4 Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Dane DeHaan, Sally Field, Jamie Foxx, Colm Feore Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Sci-Fi Action/Violence The good news is that "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" is better than the original .  The bad news is that it's still not worth your time and money.  The first one was almost a play-by-play of the original, and ten years is far too short a time for a remake (if only in spirit) of a mega-blockbuster.  This sequel, on the other hand, does what a reboot should do: take the characters and put them in a new story while maintaining a connection to the original.  Unfortunately, there are too many plot holes and confusing plot elements to make it worth a trip to the theater. There's a lot going on in this movie, and most of it is pretty coherent (surprisingly).  Peter Parker (Garfield) is having a grand time being the famous web-slinging superhero, although it does put an internal strain on his relationship with his girlfriend Gwe