Mike's Movie Tips

This was a tough year for reviewing movies.  At one point, I nearly thought about quitting.  Watching " Last Tango in Paris ," " You Won't Be Alone " and the loathsome " Bros " within a span of a month or two made me wonder if the joy I got from watching movies was somehow gone.  It was only when I told myself not to watch movies as "assignments" but to watch them because I "wanted" to.  Sure, they may not have been 2022 movies, or I may have already reviewed them.  But you know what?  Who cares?  If it helped me regain my love of film, then it was worth it. There were actually quite a lot of good movies.  Eleven made the cut-off, with "T he Banshees of Inisherin " just missing the top 10.  I can take some solace in the realization that it will be a heavy hitter at Oscar time.  How well it does depends on how much money Focus Features is willing to pony up for campaigning.  It isn't a mainstream film, but Oscar attenti

Every year has its shitty movies.  That has been the case since the birth of moving pictures in the 1920s, and it will likely be the case in the 2120s.  Despite what Hollywood would like to believe, not every movie works for every person.  There is a reason why Rotten Tomatoes is the bane of every filmmaker's existence.  That's the way it goes.  As much as I hated "Bros," I know of a few people who liked it. Still, that's really irrelevant.  This is my list.  These reviews are my thoughts and feelings about the movies that I sat through.  It's not the job of a critic to review someone else's opinion of a film.  Only their own.  Guessing who might like a movie is fair game, but ultimately their review is their opinion and no one else's. I actually like making this list.  My dad is dubious about its importance ("Always be positive," he reminds me), but every other film critic does it.  Why shouldn't I?  More importantly, it allows me to get

Before Covid hit, Hollywood was was long overdue for a change.  Ever risk averse, it avoided doing so for as long as it could.  Studios preferred to squeeze fan boys for every dime they had and milk once beloved franchises like " Star Wars " and the MCU for all that they were worth.  That was all well and good for the die hards, but it bored everyone else.  Most viewers saw them for what they were: cash cows preying on nostalgia and giving audiences nothing in return.  One of my friends does like the MCU movies, although if I came to realize that he was one of the toxic bunch who blitzed Twitter with the hashtag "Release the Snyderverse!" I would be shocked beyond all recognition.  His defense of the MCU is, "Well, if you grew up with them..."  And that's the point.  Most people didn't and don't have the same memories of them that millennial have for, say, Harry Potter.  The magic and nostalgia aren't there.  They see them for what they are

 1.5/4 Starring: John Cusack, Jennifer Tilly, Dianne Wiest, Chazz Palmentieri, Jack Warden, Mary Louise Parker, Jim Broadbent, Rob Reiner, Joe Vitelli Rated R for Some Language "Bullets over Broadway" should have been a lot funnier than it is.  It grapples with a lot of questions, but the energy is slack.  There is very little zing.  It grapples with some thoughtful and perplexing issues, but it feels like a screwball comedy with too little tension. David Shayne (Cusack) is a playwright who is universally regarded as brilliant, but not commercial.  "If the common people don't understand your work, you're a genius," someone claims.  Then a miracle happens: his devoted but broke producer Julian Marx (Warden) has found funding for his new play.  "A single backer going for the whole show!" he exclaims.  But there is a catch.  Funding comes from a nasty gangster named Nicky (Vitelli) and Shayne has to cast Nicky's air headed, monumentally untalented

 2/4 Starring: Catherine McCormack, Rufus Sewell, Oliver Platt, Fred Ward, Naomi Watts, Jacqueline Bisset, Moira Kelly, Jeroen Krabbe, Joanna Cassidy, Jake Weber, Peter Eyre Rated R for Some Scenes of Strong Sexuality, and for Nudity and Language Of course courtesans were not prostitutes.  They were prized for far more than their bodies.  Using their wits as well as their sexuality, they earned their place in history with the powerful influence they gathered while moving in the circles of the rich, famous and connected.  Unfortunately, that's not the story that you'd find in "Dangerous Beauty," which favors romantic soap opera instead of the minds and skills of the women it seeks to celebrate.  I don't doubt for a moment that some, if not many, courtesans fell in love or sought such an occupation when no alternative was provided for them.  I just don't believe any of them played out like a low-rent Nicholas Sparks novel. Veronica Franco (McCormack) is a young

 4/4 Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Stephen Lang, Sigourney Weaver, Kate Winslet, Cliff Curtis, Jamie Flatters, Britain Dalton, Trinity Jo-Li Bliss, Jack Champion, Edie Falco Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Strong Violence and Intense Action, Partial Nudity and Some Strong Language It's been 13 years since " Avatar " debuted at the box office, toppling his previous film " Titanic " to become the all-time box office king (it was temporarily ousted by " Avengers: Endgame ," but a re-release put it back on the number one spot).  Of course it wasn't supposed to take this long for the inevitable sequel to be released, but due to James Cameron's perfectionism, development of new technology and the Covid-19 pandemic, its initial release date was pushed back from 2015 until today.  The dramatic changes in the film industry have made Disney executives very nervous.  After all, thirteen years is a long time to wait, and it will take a miracle to re

 1/4 Starring (voices): Gregory Mann, David Bradley, Ewan McGregor, Christoph Waltz, Ron Perlman, Finn Wolfhard, Tilda Swinton, Cate Blanchett, Jon Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson Rated PG for Dark Thematic Material, Violence, Peril, Some Rude Humor and Brief Smoking I was astonished to find that "Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio" didn't work for me.  del Toro is no hack director, having been behind some of the most daring and brilliant films of the past thirty years.  " The Devil's Backbone " and " Pan's Labyrinth " are excellent examples of his creative talents.  But he isn't immune to duds (" Pacific Rim ," anyone?).  Still, the reviews were excellent, and this darker version of the classic story seemed to be right up his alley.  So what happened? The story isn't the problem.  Like all the best revisions of classic stories, del Toro keeps the essence of the story and ditches the rest.  Aside from a few details, del Toro's

 1.5/4 Starring: Sosie Bacon, Kyle Gallner, Jessie T. Usher, Robin Weigert, Caitlin Stasey, Kal Penn Rated R for Strong Violent Content and Grisly Images, and Language "Smile" has four great scenes and a whole lot of crappy ones.  On a technical level, writer/director Parker Finn knows what he is doing.  He can build a sense of dread and terror almost out of thin air.  Which he has to do because the majority of his film sucks. Rose Cotter (Bacon) is an overworked doctor at an emergency psychiatric facility.  One day, a traumatized young woman enters her hospital and is put under the good doctor's care.  Her name is Laura Weaver (Stasey), and she is in hysterics.  Ever since she saw her professor bludgeon himself to death with a hammer a few days prior, she's been seeing people invisible to everyone else, and they have the most menacing smiles on their faces.  After having a screaming fit, Laura suddenly kills herself, wearing an unsettling smile.  That's when Rose

 2/4 Starring: Mason Thames, Madeline McGraw, Ethan Hawke, Jeremy Davies, James Ransone Rated R for Violence, Bloody Images, Language and Some Drug Use Most horror movies have a gimmick.  Whether it's a slasher that uses an ax instead of a butcher knife, a different costume, or what have you.  "The Black Phone" is no different, but because co-writer/director Scott Derrickson doesn't exploit it, it makes the plot reek of artifice. Finney (Thames) is your average Colorado teenager living in the 1970s.  He's nerdy and insecure, tries to do his best against the bullies who beat the crap out of him for sport, and shares the caregiving duties for their alcoholic father (Davies) with his sister Gwen (McGraw).  If those were his only problems... His small Colorado town is under the grip of The Grabber (Hawke), a serial killer who snatches young boys.  Soon, Finney himself becomes the latest victim.  However, he has some allies on his side.  One, Gwen has (inconsistent) dr

 3.5/4 Starring: Michael Keaton, Marisa Tomei, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall, Randy Quaid, Spalding Gray, Jason Alexander, Lynne Thigpen, Catherine O'Hara Rated R for Strong Language What's great about "The Paper" is that it is so delightfully old-fashioned.  The way the film is fashioned makes you think of those 40s style comedies that starred Katharine Hepburn and Jimmy Stewart (save for the plentiful profanity, which would never have gotten past the Hays Code).  Nearly everyone with more than token screen time gets their own storyline.  And it has plenty of good cheer; it takes place in the version of New York City that people imagine in their dreams. It would be dishonest to say that "The Paper" doesn't have a plot, but it's not the sole focus.  The story that Henry Hackett (Keaton) is trying to write is simply the story he is covering.  Yesterday it was something else, and tomorrow it will be another.  Today, he's covering a recent double murde

 I love animation.  In some circles they are unfairly dismissed as "cartoons," but in the right hands they can be so much more than that.  A true artist knows that animation is simply another tool to tell stories.  It is not a genre with its own "rules."  In many cases, animation is key to making a story work.  Just compare the Disney animated classics to their live action counterparts.  Granted, " Mulan " and " The Lion King " weren't bad, but there is no denying that they paled in comparison to their animated predecessors. What I love about animation is that perspective, color and emotion can be highlighted and toyed with in ways that are just not possible with live action.  Consider the scene in " Beauty and the Beast " where Belle first sees the monster.  In the animated classic, it was bold, dramatic and even scary.  But because of the limitations of live action, the remake's version of the same scene came and went with a w

 3/4 Starring: Emily Mortimer, Woody Harrelson, Ben Kingsley, Eduardo Noriega, Kate Mara, Thomas Kretschmann Rated R for Some Violence, including Torture and Language "Transsiberian" is a thriller about a train trip from hell.  By grounding his film so well, director Brad Anderson has given it a new level of urgency and dread.  These people feel real, and that's what makes it so scary. Roy (Harrelson) and Jessie (Mortimer) are a married couple on their first international trip.  They're from Iowa and when their church was organizing a mission to China, they jumped at the chance.  But it's time to return home, and they've decided to skip the flight and take the Trans-Siberian Railway (Roy is obsessed with trains).  Things go well at first, and they hit it off with their cabin companions Carlos (Noriega) and Abby (Mara).  It doesn't last long, however. I'm not about to give away the plot, which is best discovered for yourself.  But let me explain why it

 2/4 Starring (voices): Jake Gyllenhaal, Jaboukie Young-White, Gabrielle Union, Dennis Quad, Lucy Liu, Karan Soni, Alan Tudyk Rated PG for Action/Peril and Some Thematic Elements "Strange World" is so aggressively bland that I can guarantee that I won't remember anything having seen it by the end of the year.  It won't sniff my Bottom 10 list, but even that's a criticism.  It's too bland to be that bad.  It's harmless and energetic, but it leaves no lasting impression. The Clades are known for their adventuring spirit.  Well, at least Jaeger (Quaid) is.  His son Searcher (Gyllenhaal) would rather raise plants.  Good thing too, because on the way to find out what lies beyond the mountains, Searcher discovers a plant whose power revolutionizes their society overnight.  But Jaeger's obsession is so overpowering that he goes on alone, never to be seen again. Cut to years later.  Searcher is living the life of a simple farmer and father.  He dances with his

 2/4 Starring (voices): Lyric Ross, Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, Angela Bassett, James Hong, Sam Zelaya, Ving Rhames, Igal Naor, David Harewood, Maxine Peake, Tantoo Cardinal Rated PG-13 for Some Thematic Material, Violence, Substance Use and Brief Strong Language Few types of movies are more painful to sit through than ones that take no risks and are as bland as tofu.  " Thor: Love and Thunder " is a terrific example.  That movie had no plot, no characters, or anything worth caring about.  It played things so safe that there was nothing to capture any sort of interest.  As a result, it's easily the worst movie in the MCU and a shoo-in for a spot on my Bottom 10 list. There's a flip side to that.  A movie that has too much plot and too many characters battling for our interest won't work either.  Such is the case with "Wendell & Wild," the new film from stop-motion animation guru Henry Selick.  That the film is based on a novel (co-written by Se

 3.5/4 Starring: Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Kerry Condon, Barry Keoghan Rated R for Language Throughout, Some Violent Content and Brief Graphic Nudity People like change only when it's on their terms.  When a person finally gets to buy a car they've had their eye on for months, it's thrilling.  When they have to buy a car because someone else crashed into it, it's a pain in the ass.  Of course, life supplies everyone with both types of change.  For better and for worse. For Padriac Suilleabhain (Farrell), life doesn't change much.  He lives with his sister Siobhan (Condon), his animals including his beloved donkey Jenny, and his daily ritual of sharing a few pints with his friend, Colm Doherty (Gleeson).  Then one day Colm drops a bombshell: he doesn't want to speak to Padriac anymore.  Padriac is taken aback, but Colm finds him a bore and wants to concentrate on writing music.  Now what? Other than the quality of the writing and acting, writer/director Mar

 1/4 Starring: Tadanobu Asano, Nao Omori, Shin'ya Tsukamoto, Paulyn Sun, Susumu Tirajıma, Shun Sugata The version being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Perverse Violence/Gore and Sexuality, Language and Drug Content Whenever I watch a bad movie or one that is intensely disturbing, my parents ask my why I watch such films.  There are a few reasons.  One, some movies are meant to be disturbing and raw.  No one is meant to sit through " Grave of the Fireflies " or " Saving Private Ryan " without feeling intense discomfort and grief.  If such films hit you in the gut, they've done their job.  Two, is curiosity.  I have the same impulse that anyone else does when they see a good trailer or hear solid word of mouth.  Sometimes I'm simply curious about a film.  Occasionally that has led to great rewards; I watched " The Occupant " at a moment's impulse and it turned out to be the best film of 2020.  O

 2.5/4 Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard, Jamie Foxx, Lucas Black, Evan Jones Rated R for Pervasive Language, Some Violent Images and Strong Sexual Content I suppose it takes a certain type of person to survive in a world where being branded with your job is considered an honor, trash talking is part of normal conversation and profanity flows as freely as water.  I'm not sure that Swoff is the kind of guy who fits in to this world, but then again, neither does he.  He learns to survive, at least.  More power to him. Anthony Swofford (Gyllenhaal) ended up in the Marine Corps and is not quite sure how he got there.  "I got lost on my way to college," is his answer when interrogated by a drill instructor.  Truth is, Swoff never figures out how anything really happens to him.  He gets into sniper school, where he meets his spotter and best friend, Troy (Sarsgaard).  Before they know it, they are shipped of to Iraq to fight in Operation Desert Storm.  Welcome to the S

 4/4 Starring: Will Ferrell, Ryan Reynolds, Octavia Spencer, Patrick Page, Sunita Mani, Joe Tippett, Marlow Barkley, Tracy Morgan Rated PG-13 for Language, Some Suggestive Material and Thematic Elements Being a film critic is rough.  You get into it because you love movies, yet most of the time the movies are dull and by the numbers (most superhero movies), retreads of things you've sat through countless times before (franchises to anything that makes a buck) and occasionally wretched (ego trips from self-important auteurs).  Yet, as tough as things can be, a movie comes along to remind you of what a movie can be when no one phones it in.  "Spirited" is one of those movies.  It's a movie that's so deliriously delightful that it wipes away all the cynicism of the world and just entertains you.  This is what happens when a group of people believe in a project and work as hard as they can to make it work. Will Ferrell plays the Ghost of Christmas Present.  Actually,

 2/4 Starring: Millie Bobby Brown, Henry Cavill, David Thewlis, Louis Partridge, Susan Wokoma, Adeel Akhtar, Sharon Duncan-Brewster, Helena Bonham Carter, Serrana Su-Ling Bliss Rated PG-13 for Some Violence and Bloody Images 2020's " Enola Holmes " is a perfect movie for streaming.  It's diverting and on some level entertaining, but lacks the quality necessary for a theatrical release.  Even if it were released prior to the pandemic, there is no way it could have succeeded in theaters, even as an indie curiosity.  Despite the involvement of A-lister Henry Cavill. If only I could say the same thing about the second entry.  Like most sequels, it goes bigger.  Unfortunately, this does not lead to "better."  The story is perhaps too ambitious for the limited talents of director Henry Bradbeer.  He can't keep all the plot lines and characters (and there are a lot of each) straight.  And his lack of imagination as a filmmaker is only exacerbated as he bites of

 3/4 Starring: Alan Rickman, Bryan Greenberg, Mary Steenburgen, Shawn Hatosy, Bill Pullman, Eliza Dushku, Danny DeVito Rated R for Some Violent Gruesome Images, Language and Sexuality The challenge every thriller must overcome is to not lose sight of the characters.  If a crime plot becomes too convoluted and elaborate, the people involved can cease to be real people an instead become pawns for the screenplay.  "Nobel Son," directed by Randall Miller, very nearly crosses this line.  There are times when the film's plot strains credulity.  There are other times when I felt like I was playing catch up.  It is a testament to the cast members that they keep to personalities that feel consistent.  That's definitely an accomplishment, considering the things that they turn out to be capable of. Eli Michaelson (Rickman) has just won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry.  Normally, this would be time for celebration.  But for Eli's wife Sarah (Steenburgen) and son Barkley (Greenb