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Showing posts from January, 2018

Wind Chill

2.5/4 Starring: Emily Blunt, Ashton Holmes Rated R for Some Violence and Disturbing Images "Wind Chill" is a decent, if not particularly ambitious, thriller that would be worth a peek if it didn't completely fall apart at the end.  The characters are sympathetic, it moves fast enough, and most importantly, it has a decent amount of atmosphere.  Unfortunately the ending doesn't work, and even then, it would be a half-hearted endorsement. Two college students (Blunt and Holmes) are driving home for the holidays.  Things get off to a rocky start because she is, by her own admission, difficult, and he isn't honest about who he is or his motives for giving her a ride home.  Things get worse when they take a "shortcut" and crash in the freezing snow.  Now they're stuck and there are some mysterious people lurking about... It helps immeasurably that Emily Blunt and Aston Holmes aren't phoning it in.  On paper, neither one is likable, but they

Mike's Musings: Why Being Gay Sucks...Part 2

About six months ago, I wrote a Mike's Musings about why being gay sucks .  I've made a few posts about my frustrations with dating and the gay community as a whole, but nevertheless, I still don't think I've gotten all of my thoughts out on the page.  So if I repeat myself, or if you know me personally and have heard me say this stuff ad nauseum, bear with me.  And for the record, these are not personal complaints.  I've had the same coversation with the few gay men I care to know. Problem #1: Anything goes in the LGBT community. In theory, it's a good thing where everyone is accepted regardless of who they are.  But the problem with that is that anything goes.  Everyone can and is dressing and acting as quirky as possible, whether it's some sort of rebellion or newfound freedom, dressing in loud, kitschy outfits is considered "festive" and "unique."  But it's gotten to the point where there's no way to tell the difference

Forever My Girl

1.5/4 Starring: Alex Roe, Jessica Rothe, John Benjamin Hickey, Abby Ryder Fortson, Tyler Riggs, Peter Cambor Rated PG for Thematic Elements including Drinking, and for Language "Forever My Girl" is a conservative, small-town country romance in the vein of Nicholas Sparks.  It's also uproariously funny, but not intentionally.  Why?  Maybe it's because the melodrama is pumped up to an 11.  Maybe it's because the stars have looks and presence, but not much talent.  Or maybe it's because the screenplay contains more howlers than most comedies.  When the lead character spends a significant portion of the movie in a state of internalized angst, you're in trouble. Liam Page (Roe) is a country music superstar.  Of course, he left his girlfriend Josie (Rothe) at the altar to get there.  Eight years later, Liam has become the celebrity cliche: spoiled, strung-out and on the verge of collapse.  He only realizes this when he hears on the news that his best fri

The Condemned

1.5/4 Starring: Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Robert Mammone, Tory Mussett, Rick Hoffman, Madeline West Rated R for Pervasive Strong Brutal Violence, and for Langauge Expecting anything beyond a guilty pleasure from a "Battle Royale" knock-off produced by the WWE is a fool's errand.  Expecting something with at least half as many brain cells as testosterone is just as pointless.  But could it at least have been entertaining?  And could it not have made me feel like a sociopath for laughing at some of the film's more ridiculous moments? A psychopathic reality TV producer by the name of Breckel (Mammone) has an idea: get ten death row inmates from around the world, put them on a camera-rigged island and have them fight to the death.  The last man standing gets to go free.  In true Hollywood fashion, he's taking a tried and true formula and passing it off as his own, although no one in this movie is smart enough to realize it.  One is an ex-British SAS fighter

Phantom Thread

2.5/4 Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Vicky Krieps, Lesley Manville Rated R for Language "Phantom Thread" has been getting a lot of buzz for one reason: it is (allegedly) the final film of Daniel Day-Lewis before his retirement.  I say "allegedly" because, like Hayao Miyazaki, he has claimed retirement before only to return to the screen.  As one of cinema's most distinguished and legendary actors (he was the first person to win three Best Actor Oscars), the news that "Phantom Thread" would be his final film shocked the world. In a way, "Phantom Thread" is like " Eyes Wide Shut ;" it's an art film that because of its background drama is getting more press and attention than it otherwise would.  This is definitely not multiplex fare; those without patience or appreciation for movies that don't include special effects or overt manipulation needn't bother. Reynolds Woodcock (Day-Lewis) is a genius dressmaker whose pe

I, Tonya

3.5/4 Starring: Margot Robbie, Sebastian Stan, Allison Janney, Julianne Nicholson, Paul Walter Hauser, Bobby Cannevale Rated R for Pervasive Language, Violence, and Some Sexual Content/Nudity I find figure skating fascinating.  It's visually pleasing and thrilling to watch, yes, but I'm always wondering not only how they accomplish those graceful movements and daring jumps.  I'm also wondering what each jump is.  "Triple sow cow," "Triple axel," "Triple toe loop..."  They all look the same to me.  "I, Tonya" actually answers one of those questions, although I'm not sure I got the specifics of it.  Doesn't matter.  This movie isn't about the mechanics of figure skating but rather one of its most (in)famous personalities, Tonya Harding. There's little doubt regarding the talent of Tonya Harding.  Born with an almost innate ability to skate beautifully, she started winning competitions by the time she was in kinde

Ferdinand

1.5/4 Starring (voices): John Cena, Kate McKinnon, Bobby Cannevale, Anthony Anderson, Peyton Manning, David Tennant, Lily Day Rated PG for Rude Humor, Action and Some Thematic Elements Adapting the charming "Ferdinand the Bull" short from 1938 was a bad idea.  A very bad idea.  The subject of a bull who would rather smell flowers instead of fight is interesting but limiting.  To make up for this, the filmmakers add in odd characters and subplots that range from one-dimensional and boring to unbearable and annoying.  Occasionally, the movie is downright sick.  I don't know about you, but that's not my cup of tea. Most bulls are apparently eager for the challenge of going up against a matador and bathing in the glory of the fans.  Not so for Ferdinand (Colin H. Murphy).  He'd rather smell the flours and cares nothing for violence.  After his father (Jeremy Sisto) is selected for the bullfight and doesn't return, he escapes and ends up living a peaceful l

The Devil's Backbone

3/4 Starring: Fernando Tielve, Inigo Garces, Eduardo Noriega, Federico Luppi, Marisa Paredes, Irene Visedo Rated R for Violence, Language and Some Sexuality What is a ghost?  A tragedy condemned to repeat itself time and again?  An instant of pain, perhaps.  Something dead which still seems to be alive.  An emotion suspended in time.  Like a blurred photograph.  Like an insect trapped in amber. "The Devil's Backbone" is a ghost story, but it's an atypical one.  Rather than scares, special effects and cheap shocks, director Guillermo del Toro concentrates on mood and story.  There are some creepy scenes to be found here, but the ghost is more complicated than your average specter.  This isn't a horror movie.  Rather, it can best be described as visual poetry. The film takes place during the Spanish Civil War.  Carlos (Tielve) is dropped off by his "tutor" at an isolated orphanage and left in the care of Carmen (Paredes), the brittle headmistress

The Fugitive

3/4 Starring: Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Jeroen Krabbe, Andreas Katsoulas, Joe Pantoliano, Sela Ward Rated PG-13 for A Murder and Other Action Sequences in an Adventure Setting "The Fugitive" is a breathless thriller.  The only time it stops moving is to explain the plot, but even then, you never know when things are going to kick into high gear again.  Rest assured, it won't be very long. A movie like this is all about the execution, and that's where the film excels.  Sure it helps to have two terrific performances headlining it, and it's always nice to see a plot that doesn't insult the audience's intelligence, but the film's real strength is in how it's put together.  It may not be the most original story, but it's bursting with energy. Dr. Richard Kimble (Ford) is a brilliant surgeon who comes from a surgery to find his beloved wife Helen (Ward) brutally murdered.  Making matters worse is that despite fighting with the killer

Beasts of No Nation

3.5/4 Starring: Abraham Attah, Idris Elba Not Rated (Probable NC-17 for Strong War Violence including Graphic Images, Disturbing Sexual Content including Rape and Child Molestation, and for Language and Drug Use Throughout) "Beasts of No Nation" is about a child soldier in an unnamed African country, and it's just as tough to watch as you could imagine.  Or perhaps tougher.  What the young hero, a boy no older than 12 named Agu (Attah), witnesses and participates in would break the heart and soul of even the strongest man.  But in telling this story, director Cary Fukunaga shows no fear and holds nothing back.  And as tough as this film sometimes is to watch, I thought to myself, "Good.  Show it all.  It makes it all the more impossible to ignore."  For while "Beasts of No Nation" is fiction, it tells a story that is all too real nonetheless. Agu is living in an unnamed African country.  A brutal civil war has broken out, but Agu and his family

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

3.5/4 Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Laura Dern, Benicio del Toro, Andy Serkis, Kelly Marie Tran Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Sci-Fi Action Violence "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" has its work cut out for it.  Its predecessor in the canon was going to make a killing at the box office no matter what since it was an opportunity for fans to reunite with old friends on a new adventure.  The main focus of that film was bringing everyone together.  Now that that's out of the way, it's time to move it forward.  But that's tricky; fans, especially " Star Wars " fans, are finicky and vindictive.  Just ask George Lucas, who went from geek god to geek antichrist after " Episode I ."  Director Rian Johnson has to move the story forward while keeping the same feel of the previous films.  It's the old producer's adage: "Give me the same thing...only different!" As fun as "

Mike's Musings: The Top 10 Movies of 2017

Is January 3rd too late to do this?  I think not.  Besides, it was only technical difficulties that stalled me (more on that to come later in another Mike's Musings). 2017 was arguably the weakest year for movies since I started doing this "professionally."  There were definitely some good movies that came out this year and one bonafide masterpiece, but in general, it sucked.  The much overloaded superhero genre has become a gluttonous yet still amazingly profitable creative black hole in Hollywood, leaving anyone who doesn't hang out in comic book shops all day with a lack of interest and creative minds like Jodie Foster and Clint Eastwood frustrated that film as storytelling, as opposed to $200 million extravaganzas of fan service and set-up for the next installment, is becoming an endangered species. That said, there were some truly awesome movies this year, and they're all worth sifting through the muck of mediocrity to find them.  So, here are some good r

The Shape of Water

3/4 Starring: Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Stuhlbarg, Doug Jones Rated R for Sexual Content, Graphic Nudity, Violence and Language Guillermo del Toro has never been afraid to take a chance.  He decided to cast character actor Ron Perlman in the title role of "Hellboy" over the studio's preference of Vin Diesel.  He directed what is probably the most violent fairytale ever to put to film with "Pan's Labyrinth," even making it in Mexico with a lot less money so as to not compromise his vision.  A wise move, considering how horrible "Mimic" was for him to make with the constant interference of Bob Weinstein.  That it still turned out well is a testament to his talent or willpower.  Probably both. With "The Shape of Water," del Toro once again plumbs his love of fairy tales to create a 1960's version of " Beauty and the Beast ."  And once again, he has made it strictly f