Mike's Movie Tips

0.5/4 Starring: Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Paul A. Pertain, Allen Danzinger, William Vail, Terry McMinn Rated R (probably for Strong Violence and Gore) Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is one of the most famous slasher movies ever made.  Made for a little more than $80,000, it terrified audiences upon its release.  I remember my mother telling me about how when she saw it with her girlfriend at the drive in; she recalled watching Leatherface chase Sally Hardesty (Burns) through the woods and listening to the guys they were with shout "Kill her! Kill her!" while she and her friend sat terrified in-between them.  Needless to say my dad was not among them. So as a film critic, it is a must that I see this film at some point.  I was surprised at what I found.  Not only has it aged like stinky cheese, it's impossible to see how anyone could find this movie the least bit scary.  It fails just about every rule of a horror movie, and then some.

3/4 Starring: Justin Long, Michael Parks, Haley Joel Osment, Genesis Rodriguez Rated R for Some Disturbing Violence/Gore, Language and Sexual Content "What the hell did I just see?" That's what I was thinking as soon as the end credits started to roll.  "Tusk," the second horror film from noted funnyman Kevin Smith, is not a traditional horror movie.  It is sometimes funny, quite often cringe-inducingly gross, and frequently so bizarre that few people will know what to make of it.  Some people will love what "Tusk" has to offer, others will hate it.  But make no mistake, this has "cult movie" written all over it. Wallace (Long) and Teddy (Osment) run a hugely popular podcast where they find bizarre, stupid and/or hilarious videos on the internet and laugh about them.  Wallace (always Wallace, since Teddy hates travelling) goes and interviews the subjects and then talks about it on his show.  They have found a short clip of a kid pla

3/4 Starring: Cory Knauf, Samuel Child, Joseph McKelheer, Mackenzie Firgens, Rebekah Hoyle, Brittany Daniel Rated R for Strong Violence, Language, and Some Sexual Content For a movie that was clearly made for next to nothing (it looks like it was filmed on a high end camcorder), "The Hamiltons" is a pretty good movie.  It's by no means perfect, but for what it is, I enjoyed it. The Hamiltons are a tight-knit all-American family.  Sadly, their parents died a few years ago, so David (Child), has taken over their duties.  Studly Wendell (McKelheer) and goth Darlene (Firgens) are the troublemakers.  And Francis (Knauf), who narrates the film, is simply trying to find his way in the world.  That's difficult when you live with a family of serial killers. Despite the premise and the fact that it was selected for After Dark Horrorfest in 2006, calling "The Hamiltons" a horror film is a bit of a misnomer.  There is some violence and gore, but it's more

3/4 Starring: Dylan O'Brien, Aml Ameen, Will Poulter, Ki Hong Lee, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Blake Cooper, Kaya Scodelario Rated PG-13 for Thematic Elements and Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence and Action, including some Disturbing Images With book series turned movies like "Harry Potter," " Twilight ," and " The Hunger Games " making big money at the box office, Hollywood is buying up the rights and filming every teen sci-fi or fantasy book franchise they can find.  Some, like the aforementioned box office kings, have done amazingly well at the box office while others such as "Beautiful Creatures" and " The Mortal Instruments " have disappeared so quickly I'm not sure even their fans knew they were made into a movie.  "The Maze Runner" has already dominated the box office for a week, and the sequel has gotten the green light (duh), and while that's not always indicative of quality, the movie is good enough

2.5/4 Starring: Liam Neeson, Dan Stevens, Boyd Holbrook, Bryan "Astro" Bradley Rated R for Strong Violence, Disturbing Images, Language and Brief Nudity It seems all too rare these days that we get a movie like this: a movie made for adults.  True, movies like " 300 ," " Sin City " and their sequels were awash in bloody violence and some gratuitous sex and nudity, but that was the point.  Ask any teenage boy if he's seen them, and chances are he's said yes.  With a movie like "A Walk Among the Tombstones," there's little in the way of traditional action.  It is violent, but the tone is more dour and brooding than over-the-top. Matt Scudder (Neeson) is a retired police detective who acts as a private investigator who will help clients operating on the wrong side of the law.  A recovering alcoholic, Matt quit being a police officer after a traumatic shooting eight years ago, and he's still dealing with some horrible demons a

2/4 Starring: Hanno Koffler, Max Riemelt, Katharina Schuttler Not Rated (Probable R for Sexual Content, Graphic Nudity, Language and Some Violence) What is it with all these indie filmmakers who think that the only way to make a good movie is to suck out all the emotion from it?  Granted, there are some movies that do well to be told in an understated fashion, but a formula romance movie generally isn't one of them.  It's not that the film is depressing (which it is).  It's that its depressing without substance.  There's nothing behind it, and as a result, it's a dead zone. Marc (Koffler) is living the good life.  He's training to become a police officer, is in love with the beautiful Bettina (Schuttler), and has a baby on the way.  That's when he meets Kay (Riemelt), another man at the academy.  They don't get along well at first, but Kay is interested in him...and not just as a friend.  That's when Marc begins to have feelings that he has n

2/4 Starring: Taraji P. Henson, Idris Elba, Leslie Bibb, Henry Simmons Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Violence, Terror, Menace and for Language It would be unfair to say that the failures of the new thriller "No Good Deed" are due to the film's pacing issues, but they are by far the film's biggest fault.  There are other problems with the film, such as supposedly smart characters doing amazingly stupid things, badly staged fight scenes, and an obvious grab for a PG-13 rating, but the poor pacing and lack of rhythm is the most glaring flaw of this film.  And in a "stranger within" thriller like this, good pacing and rhythm is essential. Terri (Henson) is a loving wife to Jeffrey (Simmons) and mother to two young children.  She and Jeffrey are a little testy with each other, but they make plans to get away for the weekend (without the kids) to reconnect after he gets back from taking his father on his birthday golf trip.  Her best friend Meg (Bibb) will

1/4 Starring: Tom Hardy, James Gandolfini, Noomi Rapace, Matthias Schoenaerts, John Ortiz, James Frecheville, Ann Dowd Rated R for Some Strong Violence and Pervasive Language The good thing about filmmakers taking chances is that they can do something unexpected and brilliant.  " Kick-Ass " is a fine example.  Matthew Vaughn tried to make a legitimate superhero movie while poking fun at it at the same time.  Doing so is a difficult balancing act, and by risking it all instead of doing something safe and conventional, he made what is probably the best superhero movie since " The Dark Knight ."  The opposite is also true.  If a filmmaker is untalented or flexing his ego, the film can be a disaster.  That's what happened with "The Drop." Generally speaking, I like to set up the story to give my readers an idea of what the film is about.  That's not possible here because after viewing it, I haven't the slightest clue what is going on in thi

1.5/4 Starring: Kevin Zegers, Laurence Fishburne, Bill Paxton, Charlotte Sullivan, Atticus Mitchell Not Rated (probable R for Strong Violence/Gore and Language) There is a niche that "The Colony" fits into.  It's small and not where any self-respecting movie wants to be, but it is there.  It's the kind of movie that is ideal for insomniacs: there's enough going on that you're not actively wishing a horrible death for director Jeff Renfroe (who co-wrote the screenplay), but it's so deadly dull that you'll be joining Little Nemo before the plot actually starts. "The Colony" is a post-apocalyptic thriller (a term I use only to describe the genre it aspires to, since this film is completely devoid of suspense) that's a mix of "The Day After Tomorrow" and " Dawn of the Dead ."  Apparently, the attempts to control the weather to battle global warming have majorly backfired, and the Earth is in a new Ice Age.  Humans

2.5/4 Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Don Cheadle, Gaby Hoffman, Jacqueline Kim Rated PG-13 for Intense Depiction of Urban Disaster and Related Injuries In the late 90's, disaster movies were all the rage.  Arguably starting with Roland Emmerich's "Independence Day," the role that made Will Smith a megastar, violence and destruction on a massive scale became common place from May to August each year.  1997 featured two films where the characters faced off against a volcano, but ironically, the one that was released in February (" Dante's Peak ") is the better film.  "Volcano" has its pleasures, certainly, but overall the Pierce Brosnan picture is more fun. It's early in the A.M., and people in Los Angeles are just starting out their days when a minor earthquake hits.  For Los Angeles, this sort of thing is old hat ("I hate it when that happens," a nurse says after having crawled under a stretcher).  But it is not an

2.5/4 Starring: Ingrid Bergman, Cary Grant, Claude Rains, Madame Konstantin Not Rated Alfred Hitchcock is rightfully known as The Master of Suspense.  Few filmmakers, either living or dead, are as uncannily skilled at raising the adrenaline in a viewer.  He is not, however, known for his passionate romances (although they featured in many of his movies).  This is perhaps the reason why his 1946 film, "Notorious" doesn't really work.  It's not a bad movie by any means, Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman are consistently good and there is some definite suspense towards the end, but the majority of the film feels like a bad soap opera rather than a thrilling love story. Shortly after World War II, a man named Huberman has just been convicted of treason against the United States.  His daughter Alicia (Bergman) is celebrating with some friends when she starts talking to a man at the party.  During a drunken joyride, he reveals himself to be named Devlin (Grant), and wor

3.5/4 Starring: Kuno Becker, Stephen Dillane, Marcel Iures, Alessandro Nivola, Tony Plana, Anna Friel, Sean Pertwee, Kieran O'Brien Rated PG-13 for Some Sexual Content, Language and a Brief Drug Reference Few things can compare to watching a good sports movie.  There's nothing else like it.  I've seen " Speed Racer " many times, and to this day, I still am up on my feet hoping against hope that Speed Racer will fly through the finish line at the Grand Prix in first place.  I had a similar experience watching "Goal! The Game Begins." So it might surprise you to learn that the film is a catalog of sports movie cliches.  If the story (an impoverished immigrant turns out to be a genius soccer player, and gets a chance to play for a big team seeking to recapture its former glory) wasn't so involving, one could pass the time by ticking off each one as it plays out on screen.  They're all here, and I mean, all of them.  Let's see, you've

2/4 Starring: Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge, Francois Civil, Marion Lambert, Ali Marhyar Rated R for Bloody Violence/Terror, and Language Throughout The element of suggestion is paramount to a horror movie.  A movie will not scare its audience without it.  Paraphrasing Roger Ebert (again), what we see is never as scary as what we think we see (the lone exception, of course, is " Alien ").  This is why, done well, shaking the camera or cutting quickly can up the scare factor ("Cloverfield" and " The Descent " are two masterful examples).  Sadly, it's not done well here. Scarlett (Weeks) is a young graduate student looking for the fabled Philosopher's Stone, which, as anyone who has read or seen the first "Harry Potter" book/movie knows, will turn whatever it touches to gold and grant you immortality.  She thinks she's found where it is, and is going to the Paris catacombs to find it.  With her is her cameraman, Benji