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Showing posts from September, 2017

The Lego Ninjago Movie

1.5/4 Starring (voices): Dave Franco, Justin Theroux, Jackie Chan, Olivia Munn Rated PG for Some Mild Action and Rude Humor If a sequel/spin-off to a hit movie comes out within a year of its predecessor, it's a pretty safe bet that, regardless of how interconnected they are, they're going to be crap.  Just look at the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  For every " Guardians of the Galaxy ," there are a few forgettable behemoths like " Captain America: Civil War " or " Fantastic Four " (pick a version).  The same goes for " The Lego Movie ."  Despite being marketing at its most shameless, the 2014 animated hit was a breath of fresh air.  It was filled to the brim with animation, clever humor and ideas no one could see coming.  Eager to jump on the bandwagon while it was hot, Warner Bros. produced spin-offs as fast as they could make them.  Despite having three years to prepare, " The Lego Batman Movie " was a waste of time.  And a

The Red Turtle

2/4 Rated PG for Some Thematic Elements and Peril Studio Ghibli has such a high standard quality that their name on a film is enough to recommend it.  Not even Pixar has as good a track record.  And even when their movies don't work, such as "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind," the end result is interesting and daring enough to check out anyway.  With "The Red Turtle," the studio went outside of Japan for the first time.  Legendary filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki was impressed with director Michael Dudok de Wit's short film, "Fathers and Daughters," that Studio Ghibli asked him if they could distribute it in Japan, and if he would make a feature film for them.  Reportedly, de Wit couldn't believe his ears when they asked him to make a film for them.  Unfortunately, this is one of the rare misses for the legendary animation studio. The plot is extremely vague.  With almost no dialogue (except for characters yelling "Hey!" to get someon

The Gathering

2/4 Starring: Christina Ricci, Stephen Dillane, Kerry Fox, Harry Forrester, Simon Russell Beale, Robert Hardy, Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Mann Rated R for Violence and Language "The Gathering" is a strange little horror film.  The first act is clunky, the second act is super creepy, and the final act is pure crap.  Here is a horror film that combines religious mumbo jumbo, voyeurism, Catholic sex abuse, and a spree shooter in a religious horror movie.  If it were possible to combine them all in one movie (and I'm not sure it is), it would take some deft hands.  Which director Brian Gilbert definitely does not possess. Marion Kirkman (Fox) is driving in the blinding rain, trying to get her stepson Michael (Forrester) to stop kicking her seat.  She turns around to yell at him, only to find that she has hit a girl with her car.  Despite an accident that should have killed her, Cassie Grant (Ricci) is fine, except that she doesn't remember anything except her name.  I

Sunshine (2007)

3/4 Starring: Cillian Murphy, Chris Evans, Rose Byrne, Cliff Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, Hiroyuki Sanada, Benedict Wong, Troy Garity, Mark Strong Rated R for Violent Content and Language Danny Boyle's 2007 is as close to an art film as a $40 million budget will allow.  That it ends with a conventional thriller ending was either due to studio interference or a creative compromise on the part of director Danny Boyle and writer Alex Garland to actually get the film made.  It's hard to believe that ending what is essentially an existential art film with a slasher going bezerk was the original vision of either man. Not so very far into the future, the sun is slowly dying.  Facing extinction, humanity launches Icarus I with a theoretical payload to reignite the dying star.  It fails.  Humanity tries again with Icarus II .  On board are Haneda (Sanada), the captain, Cassie (Byrne), the pilot, Corazon (Yeoh), the biologiost, Searles (Curtis), the doctor, Harvey (Garity) the comms o

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

3.5/4 Starring: Taron Edgerton, Mark Strong, Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Channing Tatum, Halle Berry, Edward Holcroft, Hanna Alstrom, Pedro Pascal, Jeff Bridges, Elton John Rated R for Sequences of Strong Violence, Drug Content, Language Throughout, and Some Sexual Material I suppose it takes a special couple of Brits to effectively parody American culture (specifically the South), but director and co-writer Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman do so with flair.  It may not be mean, but it's definitely on point.  This isn't one long lampoon into Americana, but the barbs are fresh and knowing, and lead to some of the biggest laughs. Eggsy (Edgerton) has settled into life as a Kingsman.  He goes to work during the day and on missions when the occasion calls for it, but usually he's hanging with his mates and his new girlfriend, Tilde (Alstrom), who just so happens to be a princess.  However, trouble occurs when he is attacked by Charlie (Holcroft), a Kingsman reject gone

The Interpreter

3/4 Starring: Nicole Kidman, Sean Penn, Catherine Keener, Jesper Christensen, Yvan Attal Rated PG-13 for Violence, Some Sexual Content and Language "The Interpreter" is rare in the sense that it not only has a brain, it demands that the audience use theirs.  Those expecting action, gunfights and explosions are going to be disappointed.  Don't get me wrong, there is some of that, but it's kept low-key and never dwelled upon for very long.  The term "slow-burn thriller" was coined for movies like this.  The movie is exciting, but in a cerebral sort of way.  In a way, it's a little like " The Siege ," only not as grim. The President of Matobo, Edmund Zuwanie (Earl Cameron) is scheduled to appear before the UN in a few days time to defend himself against charges of genocide.  While going back to retrieve her things after an evacuation, UN interpreter and Matoban national Sylvia Broome (Kidman) overhears some hushed voices planning to assass

The Promise (2016)

3/4 Starring: Oscar Isaac, Charlotte Le Bon, Christian Bale, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Marwin Kenzari, Igal Naor, Angela Sarafyan, Milene Mayer, Stuart Scudamore Not to be confused with the 2005 Japanese film "The Promise" is a daring effort with noble intentions.  It dramatizes a shamefully not well known event in world history for a mass audience.  It's $90 million budget fully funded by Armenian billionaire Kirk Kerkorian, who had family that lived through these events, it refuses to allow these atrocities to be ignored no longer.  While a lot of its potential is unrealized (much of which has to do with the love story), there are just as many scenes of real power. Mikael Boghosian (Isaac) is an Armenian apothecary in a small Turkish town.  It's been a family tradition for 200 years, but he desires to do more.  He wants to go to medical school, but lacks money.  So he marries Miral (Sarafyan), a local girl, and uses the dowry to pay for his education.  There,

mother!

2.5/4 Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ed Harris Rated R Strong Disturbing Violent Content, Some Sexuality, Nudity and Language You know, I've seen more than a few thousand movies in my time.  On this site alone, the number stands at 1,505 reviews (including this one).  Plus 361 on iMDb (there is some overlap).  That's 1,866 movies.  And that's just after I started reviewing. The reason I list my credentials is not out of narcissism.  It's because of all these movies, I don't recall any that left me so dumbfounded.  It's not that it's shocking or a mindfuck, although it is both of those things.  It's that it's so bizarre and surreal that it left me unsure of how to react.  Hell, I didn't know what it actually was! Javier Bardem and Jennifer Lawrence play a loving couple living in the middle of the wilderness in a home that she is remodeling while he writes.  Their careful idyll is rocked when a man played

eXistenZ

2/4 Starring: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jude Law, Ian Holm, Willem Dafoe, Callum Keith Rennie, Christopher Eccelston Rated R for Strong Sci-Fi Violence and Gore, and for Language Science fiction has long pondered the line that separates fantasy from reality, and in that sense, "eXistenZ" doesn't do anything new.  But the presentation is different because it uses video games as a platform for this question.  That the movie was written and directed by David Cronenberg should tell you that this will be a highly strange and unusual tale. Allegra Geller (Leigh) is a brilliant game designer showing her new game called "eXistenZ" to a focus group.  However. this anticipated event (which, considering Allegra's status as the premiere game designer, is surprisingly small) goes awry when an assassin attempts to kill Allegra.  Now she and a dorky marketing trainee named Ted Pikul (Law) go on the run.  The question is not only who is trying to kill Allegra, but was t

American Assassin

3/4 Starring: Dylan O'Brien, Michael Keaton, Shiva Negar, Sanaa Lathan, Taylor Kitsch, David Suchet, Navid Negahban, Charlotte Vega, Joseph Long Rated R for Strong Violence Throughout, Some Torture, Language and Brief Nudity "American Assassin" does exactly what it needs to.  No more, no less.  That it does the absolute bare minimum to get a passing grade does little to sway me from recommending it simply because the pickings are so slim.  It may not be ambitious or end up on my Top 10 list at the end of the year, but it has some great action and suspense.  You get what you pay for. Mitch Rapp (O'Brien) is a grad student on vacation with his girlfriend Katrina (Vega).  Just moments after she accepts his marriage proposal, terrorists attack the resort they are staying at and she is brutally murdered by a terrorist named Adnan al-Mansur (Shahid Ahmed).  Intending on exacting revenge in blood, Mitch poses as a recruit to get to his target, but before he can kill

Inuyasha

3.5/4 Starring (voices): Moneca Stori, Richard Ian Cox, Kirby Morrow, Kelly Sheridan, Jillian Michaels, Paul Dobson, David Kaye, Michael Dangerfield, Scott McNeil, Willow Johnson, Janyse Jaud Why am I writing a review of an entire TV series?  Why not?  It's my site.  Besides, I've reviewed a few miniseries too.  So why can't I review this too?  Besides, it can be argued that the TV show tells a complete story.  Just one that takes 180 hours to tell (that's 7.5 days, for anyone who is counting). But the real reason I'm reviewing it is because I feel like I should.  It's a great show, and one that means a lot to me personally.  It was what got me to see the anime genre in a positive light.  It's safe to say that I wouldn't have seen " Spirited Away " or " Grave of the Fireflies ," two incredible films, had it not been for this TV show. On its whole, "Inuyasha" is fantasy, but pigeonholing it into one genre is a mistake

IT (2017)

2.5/4 Starring: Jaeden Lieberher, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Sophia Lillis, Finn Wolfhard, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Bill Skarsgaard Rated R for Violence/Horror, Bloody Images, and for Language With the help of clever marketing, brand recognition, and beloved source material (two, actually), Andy Muschietti's newest iteration of Stephen King's "IT" has finally found its way into theaters.  It's been a long time coming; while the beloved miniseries was released in 1990, the film adaptation has been in preproduction for five years.  So how is it?  The truth is that it's a mixed bag. The setting has been updated to 1989, although little else has changed.  The core characters and themes still appear.  In the quaint town of Derry, Maine, little children have gone missing.  One unlucky victim is Georgie Denbrogh (Jackson Robert Scott), who went missing while sailing a paper boat down the street.  Now Georgie's older brother Bill (Lieberher)

My Life as a Zucchini

3/4 Starring (voices): Erick Abbate, Ness Krell, Nick Offerman, Romy Beckman Rated PG-13 for Thematic Elements and Suggestive Material "My Life as a Zucchini" is a slight but charming stop-motion animation film from France.  It has a lot of heart and love for its characters, but a lack of narrative drive and a far too short running time keep it from being something special. Icare, or Zucchini, as he prefers to be called, has a sad life.  His father has long since been out of the picture and his mother spends all of her time drinking beer and throwing empty cans at the TV.  When an attempt to avoid a spanking ends up with his mother dying, Zucchini is sent to live in an orphanage.  There, he discovers the true meaning of friends and family. This movie isn't strong on plot.  Not that there's much time for one, considering that the film is barely over an hour long.  Apart from that, it lacks focus.  It wants to give everyone their due, but with seven kids at th

Brimstone

3/4 Starring: Dakota Fanning, Guy Pearce, Emilia Jones, Carice Van Houten, Kit Harrington, William Houston, Ivy Jones, Jack Hollington Rated R for Brutal Bloody Violence, Strong Sexual Content including Disturbing Behavior, Graphic Nudity, and Language Not since "The Guest" has the presence of true evil slithered off the screen.  While Guy Pearce's Reverend isn't the central character in the film, he is by far the most memorable (next to some strong competition).  To see the Australian actor in the role of such a monstrous villain is frightening. Liz (Fanning) is a mute woman living in the Old West.  Having married a widower named Eli (Houston) and becoming a mother to his son Matthew (Hollington) and bore him a daughter Sam (Jones), she appears to have made peace with her unrevealed past.  When a new pastor (Pearce) comes into town, it's welcome news to Eli.  Liz, however, is uneasy.  Soon enough, tragedy strikes and she and her family must go on the run.

The Hitman's Bodyguard

2/4 Starring: Ryan Reynolds. Samuel L. Jackson, Elodie Young, Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Joaquim de Almeida Rated R for Strong Violence and Language Throughout "The Hitman's Bodyguard" is a throwback to the days of "Lethal Weapon," where the charisma of mismatched buddies and ridiculous, over-the-top action sequences drove in audiences by the millions.  Explosions, shoot outs, and of course, the one-liners, all that stuff.  Essentially, the action movies before the superhero frenzy took hold and began clogging up the entire genre.  Given how much I bemoan the genre (oversaturation doesn't do it justice), you'd think I'd celebrate a retro movie like "The Hitman's Bodyguard."  I'd like to, but the movie just isn't that good. Belarusian dictator Vladislav Dukhovich (Oldman) is on trial for his crimes, which include murder and genocide.  Despite damning and emotional testimony, there's little hard evidence that proves he

Pet Sematary

1.5/4 Starring: Dale Midkiff, Fred Gwynne, Denise Crosby, Blaze Berdahl, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist Rated R (probably for Horror Violence and Gore, and for Brief Language) Don't mess with Indian burial grounds. Anyone who knows horror movies knows that sites where ancient Indians buried their dead are best avoided.  In " Poltergeist " (I'm going to pretend that its dreadful remake doesn't exist), a family was on the wrong end of some very pissed off spirits.  In "Pet Sematary," the dead come back to life, and it ain't a pretty sight. The Creeds, Dr. Louis (Midkiff), his wife Rachel (Crosby), and their two children, Ellie (Berdahl) and Gage (Hughes), have moved to a new home in Massachusetts.  Their neighbor across the busy highway is the old man, Jud Crandall (Gwynne), who knows all about the pet cemetery just a stone's throw away from the house.  When Ellie's beloved cat Church (named after Winston Churchill, of all things), is