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Showing posts from October, 2017

The Oxford Murders

3/4 Starring: Elijah Wood, John Hurt, Leonor Watling, Julie Cox, Jim Carter, Burn Gorman Rated R for Language, Sexual Content/Nudity and Some Violence/Disturbing Images After viewing "The Oxford Murders," one thing is absolutely clear: this movie is not for everyone.  Ostensibly it's a murder mystery, but however it's main thrust is the philosophical and mathematical discussions that are necessary to stop the killer.  Those who would not prefer to watch a movie that challenges them intellectually should not bother with this movie. Martin (Wood) is a young grad student who has come to London to study with the famous mathematician and philosopher Arthur Seldom (Hurt).  But Seldom is such a pompous ass that Martin decides to go home rather than be insulted again by this loser.  That is until they find his landlady murdered in the home where he is renting a room.  Also at the murder site is a mathematical symbol that indicates they are dealing with a serial killer

Victoria and Abdul

1.5/4 Starring: Judi Dench, Ali Fazal, Tim Pigott-Smith, Eddie Izzard, Michael Gambon, Olivia Williams Rated PG-13 for Some Thematic Elements and Language Full disclosure: I missed the first few moments of this movie.  I'm still writing the review because I came in long before the title card showed up.  And because I need it for my Bottom 10 list this year. On a technical level, there's not much wrong with "Victoria and Abdul."  The performances are solid, the cinematography is fine (although there's one scene that obviously lacked a tripod for no apparent reason), and so on and so forth.  It's just that I didn't believe a minute of it.  I kept praying that it would get better, but moments of emotional honesty are few.  And that's what is necessary for this kind of buddy movie to work. Queen Victoria (Dench) is in her golden years, but tired of all the ceremonies, rituals and politics.  One day two emissaries from India show up to present her

Saw

3/4 Starring: Cary Elwes, Leigh Whannell, Danny Glover, Monica Potter, Michael Emerson, Tobin Bell The version being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Grisly Violence and Language I don't know if they exist in other cities (my guess is they do), but there are businesses called "escape rooms."  The idea is to get a group of your friends and get "locked" in a room.  To get out, you all have to band together to solve a series of puzzles that lead to a key that unlocks the door.  I've done it once, and it's a lot of fun if you have the right people.  "Saw" reminded me of this, although as spooky as the Halloween-themed ones are, I strongly doubt they are as gruesome as this movie. Adam (Whannell) wakes up mysteriously submerged in a bathtub in the dirtiest bathroom imaginable.  He isn't alone; also in the room is Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Elwes).  Both are chained to rusted pipes.  Tapes they find

Friday the 13th Part III

1/4 Starring: Dana Kimmell, Paul Kratka, Tracie Savage, Jeffrey Rogers, Catherine Parks, Larry Zerner, David Katims, Rachel Howard, Nick Savage, Gloria Charles, Kevin O'Brien, Cheri Maugins, Steve Susskind, Richard Brooker Rated R (probably for Strong Violence/Gore, Language, Sexuality/Nudity and Drug Use) The most interesting characters show up after the recap of the first film, and they're only on screen for five minutes.  Not a good sign; even for something as low grade as a " Friday the 13th " movie.  With a title like that, I'm not expecting something like " Halloween " or " Sinister ."  But I would like to be repaid with something other than unending tedium.  Sadly, that's what happens in this gimmicky and utterly worthless horror flick.  The only thing worth noting about this dud is that it's the first time Jason puts on his infamous hockey mask. Chris Higgins (Kimmell) is going to her family's old farm on Crystal Lak

The Snowman

2/4 Starring: Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Jonas Karlsson, Michael Yates, J.K. Simmons Rated R for Grisly Images, Violence, Some Language, Sexuality, and Brief Nudity People can't stop talking about how bad "The Snowman" is.  It's as if it's the second coming of "Gigli."  That move was assuredly awful, but not nearly worth the negative buzz it got (I can think of ten movies that are far more painful to sit through).  Even still, I love mysteries, which is why I was still excited to see this movie.  So how bad is it?  Well, I don't recommend it, but at the same time, it's not as bad as some would have you believe.  It certainly won't be anywhere near my Bottom 10 list. I think what's going on is that people are shocked that something with this much potential turned out to be so hopelessly generic.  One could be forgiven for approaching this movie with high expectations.  It's directed by Tomas Alf

Only the Brave

4/4 Starring: Miles Teller, Josh Brolin, Jennifer Connelly, James Badge Dale, Taylor Kitsch, Jeff Bridges, Andie MacDowell Rated PG-13 for Thematic Content, Some Sexual References, Language and Drug Material When the end credits started after seeing "Only the Brave," I had to take a moment to collect myself.  This movie was so overwhelming that my heart was still in pieces after what I had experienced.  Even now, a half hour or so after the film ended, I'm still thinking about it.  Not since " American Sniper " have I seen a movie like this. I remember reading the story about the Yarnell Hill Fire.  Like all great tragedies, it took a while to really register.  It just didn't seem possible.  It was such an abstract concept that it took a while to sink in.  Then the grief started.  Even before I saw the movie, thinking about it still haunts me. Lately, biopics of famous people or events have become cash cows for Hollywood.  Buy the rights to a "

The Drownsman

1.5/4 Starring: Michelle Mylett, Caroline Korycki, Gemma Bird Matheson, Sydney Kondruss, Clare Bastable, Ry Barrett Not Rated (probable R for Horror Violence and Brief Language) To it's credit, "The Drownsman" gets off to a solid start with a few effective shocks.  Then the plot began, and I began thinking, "Okay, this is silly, but I'm willing to laugh at myself for getting creeped out."  Then, about twenty minutes in, I started having questions about the plot.  Not good ones, such as whether or not the villain is around the corner.  But bad ones, like whether or not the villain is a supernatural entity.  You'd think that since he looks like a walking, sort of talking spinach casserole, the answer to that question would be obvious, but apparently co-writer/director Chad Archibald thinks he can fool the audience about this. Madison (Mylett) is happy for her friend Hannah (Korycki), who has just gotten engaged.  After slipping on a beer bottle and

Operation Condor 2: Armor of God

3/4 Starring: Jackie Chan, Alan Tam, Lola Forner, Ken Boyle, Rosamund Kwan, Bozidar Smiljanic Rated R for Some Violence Things you will find in a traditional Jackie Chan movie: -Martial Arts Action -Death Defying Stunts -Screwball Physical Comedy Things you will not find in a traditional Jackie Chan movie: -Deep Philosophical Meaning -Character Nuance -Anything More than a Rudimentary Plot In that sense, "Armor of God" doesn't disappoint.  You get what you pay for.  There are some truly spectacular fight sequences and some great physical comedy straight out of something like " Bringing Up Baby ."  It doesn't contain a story worth its weight in tissue paper, but that's okay.  Such things that would matter to most critics like myself mean little to Jackie.  This isn't a criticism so much as it is an observation.  He knows his strengths, and he also knows that such things will only get in the way of the film's momentum. The story,

The Foreigner

2/4 Starring: Jackie Chan, Pierce Brosnan, Rory Fleck-Byrne, Ray Fearon, Charlie Murphy, Orla Brady, Dermot Crowley Rated R for Violence, Language and Some Sexual Material Jackie Chan became famous for mixing insane martial arts stunts (and performing them himself) with slapstick comedy.  Bruce Lee meets Buster Keaton, as it were.  His movies were as thrilling as they were hilarious.  But as fit and talented as Chan is, not even he can outrun time.  So aside from his voice work in the " Kung Fu Panda " movies and playing Mr. Han in "The Karate Kid" remake (he was also in " The Lego Ninjago Movie ," but due to the respect I have for Chan, I'm going to pretend that it doesn't exist), he hasn't done much.  At least not on this side of the Atlantic.  While "The Foreigner" can be classified as an action movie and he does kick a bit of ass, this is not the traditional action comedy staple that he is famous for.  This is a dark and vio

Trick 'r Treat

3/4 Starring: Tahmoh Penikett, Leslie Bibb, Dylan Baker, Connor Christopher Levins, Brett Kelly, Anna Paquin, Lauren Lee Smith, Moneca Delain, Rochelle Aytes, Britt McKillip, Isabelle Deluce, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Alberto Ghisi, Samm Todd, Brian Cox, Quinn Lord Rated R for Horror Violence, Some Sexuality/Nudity and Language "Trick 'r Treat" is a cult horror movie that looked to disappear without a trace had word of mouth not gotten around to fans of the genre.  Most horror films that fail to make an impression do so for good reason (anyone remember " The Nun ?"  Or " The Ice Cream Man ?"  If you don't, consider yourself lucky).  Still, every now and then one comes along that distributors ignored but fans found.  Such examples are "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon" (unseen by me) and " Creep ."  "Trick 'r Treat" belongs in this category. Five stories take place on Halloween night in the "normally

Goodbye Christopher Robin

3.5/4 Starring: Domhnall Gleeson, Will Tilston, Kelly Macdonald, Margot Robbie, Stephen Campbell Moore, Alex Lawther Rated PG for Thematic Elements, Some Bullying, War Images and Brief Language My mother never read me "Winnie the Pooh" when I was a little tyke.  Or maybe she did.  You'll have to ask her.  And I hadn't even heard of this movie before a friend of mine invited me to a preview screening.  So I had no preconceived notions of the movie I was about to see.  Not that that matters much in terms of quality of a movie (usually), but despite my little knowledge of Winnie the Pooh and his friends, I very much enjoyed this movie. Alan Milne (Gleeson), or "Blue," as his wife Daphne (Robbie) calls him, is a writer famous for his plays.  But the events he took part in during The Great War have never fully healed.  His PTSD is triggered by just about everything, and he decides to move him and his family to the rural countryside.  But Daphne, who isn&#

Evil Dead II

3/4 Starring: Bruce Campbell, Sarah Berry, Dan Hicks, Kassie Wesley DePaiva, Denise Bixler Not Rated (probably NC-17 for Pervasive Horror Violence and Gore) I'm giving this movie a recommendation based more on its audacity than anything else.  Oh, it's a fun ride.  It's just that it doesn't add up to much and the pieces work better as isolated moments rather than a cohesive whole.  Still, there are scenes here that can't be scene in any other movie.  That alone deserves credit. Plot is not the film's strong suit. It's just a set-up for a few people to be at this remote cabin (so remote that one wonders who in the right mind would want to live there) and be constantly attacked by special effects that are a tribute to Ray Harryhausen.  A violent, bloody tribute, but a tribute nonetheless. Speaking of special effects, they're here in spades.  And I'd say about 99.999% involve a tremendous amount of gore.  This isn't so much a criticism (wh

Blade Runner 2049

2.5/4 Starring: Ryan Gosling, Ana de Armas, Robin Wright, Sylvia Hoeks, Jared Leto, Harrison Ford Rated R for Violence, Some Sexuality, Nudity and Language When faced with a dilemma like this, the question a film critic has to ask himself or herself is this: do I write from popular opinion, or my own heart?  "Blade Runner 2049" is a highly anticipated movie, and the reception from critics and audiences has been rapturous.  But in all honesty, I really don't think its a good movie.  Rest assured, I'll tell you why. Much has changed since Rick Dekard's (Ford) first outing.  After a brutal rebellion, replicants were outlawed, bankrupting the Tyrell Corporation (which gives me hope that, in the near future, our lobbying laws will be severely curtailed).  Now, a man named Niander Wallace (Leto), has completely reworked the agricultural landscape and revamped the replicant program by making them obedient.  Older models from Dekard's era are still "retir

Blade Runner: The Final Cut

1/4 Starring: Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Daryl Hannah, Joanna Cassidy Rated R for Violence and Brief Nudity "Blade Runner" is one of those movies where its reputation and fame outstrip whatever qualities it has as a piece of cinema.  It gets its fame from its notoriously difficult shoot, innovative art and set decoration, and ambiguous storyline.  And the star power of Harrison Ford and Ridley Scott certainly help.  And ditto for the supposed "Blade Runner Curse," which spelled doom for any company with product placements in the film.  What no one seems to remember is that the movie itself is a piece of crap.  At least from this critic's perspective. In 2019, humanoid robots, known as replicants, are used as slave labor off world.  Designed to live for only four years to inhibit emotional growth, they are banned from Earth under the penalty of death.  That leaves people like Rick Dekard (Ford), to hunt them down.  Actually, Deckard has left

The Ruins

3/4 Starring: Jena Malone, Jonathan Tucker, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey, Joe Anderson The version being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Violence and Gruesome Images, Language. Some Sexuality and Nudity Like all good horror films, "The Ruins" works because it does exactly what its supposed to.  Identifiable characters, a gripping situation, and escalating tension.  The pacing, at least in the unrated version, isn't tight enough to elevated it to the upper echelons of the genre, and the audio quality is at times iffy, but on the whole it's an effective chiller. Best friends Amy (Malone) and Stacy (Ramsey) have gone on vacation to Mexico with their boyfriends, Eric (Ashmore) and Jeff (Tucker).  There, they meet up with a couple of Greek party animals and a German stud named Mathias (Anderson).  Mathias is in town with his brother and his brother's girlfriend, who have just discovered a new Mayan ruin.  He's g