Mike's Movie Tips

2.5/4 Starring: Will Smith, Josh Brolin, Jemaine Clement, Michael Stuhlbarg, Emma Thompson, Tommy Lee Jones Rated PG-13 for Sci-fi Action Violence and Brief Suggestive Content The first two "Men in Black" movies were successful in the same way "Harry Potter" was: the important stuff was great, but the best stuff was in the details.  My favorite bits of the Harry Potter books were the little bits that J.K. Rowling added for seasoning, like in the second book when Ron Weasley warns Harry that some books are cursed and there was one case where a man picked up a book and literally couldn't put it down, or how Harry had overperformed his Cheering Charm on Ron, who had to go to the next room for ten minutes so he could calm down.  The "Men in Black" movies had decent enough plots, but they were really a thread to place the inventive aliens and jokes.  Sadly, the plot of "Men in Black 3" isn't particularly interesting and the majority of th

2.5/4 Starring: Jonathan Sadowski, Devin Kelley, Jesse McCartney, Olivia Dudley, Nathan Philips, Ingrid Bolso Bodal, Dimitri Diatchenko Rated R for Violence, Some Bloody Images and Pervasive Language "Chernobyl Diaries" is being marketed as being from Oren Peli, who wrote and directed the absolutely terrifying smash hit, "Paranormal Activity."  This is really only half true, however.  Peli came up with the story and co-wrote the script (with Carey and Shane Van Dyke), but it was directed by Bradley Parker.  Whoever you consider to be "behind" the film, the result is the same.  "Chernobyl Diaries" is at times scary, but it's also unsatisfying. Chris (McCartney), his girlfriend Natalie (Dudley) and Natalie's friend Amanda (Kelley), are in Kiev visiting Chris's older brother, Michael (Sadowski).  After a night of partying, Michael comes to the hungover trio and suggest they do a bit of extreme tourism: tour Pripyat, the town that

3.5/4 Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, James Fox, Christopher Reeve, Hugh Grant Rated PG for Themes One of the most difficult things for a person to do is to be completely honest with themselves.  Admitting what you want opens the door for it to blow up in your face.  Consider closeted gay people.  If they come out of the closet, they face discrimination and possible betrayal from their friends and families.  And yet, if we are, it allows us to be happier with ourselves.  The tragic flaw of the Mr. Stevens is that he his duties as a butler don't allow him to admit how he feels, and it costs him everything. Stevens (Hopkins) is the dutiful and devoted butler of the wealthy and powerful Lord Darlington (Fox).  He believes that the most important part of being a butler is dignity.  He remains an automoton, an unfeeling thing that does everything that is asked of him with no backtalk or controversy.  How he feels about anything is irrelevant.  That all changes when the

2/4 Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Cameron Diaz, Ben Falcone, Jennifer Lopez, Rodrigo Santoro, Dennis Quaid, Brooklyn Decker, Chris Rock, Chace Crawford, Matthew Morrison Rated PG-13 for Crude and Sexual Content, Thematic Elements and Language The informational book on pregnancy, "What to Expect When You're Expecting," has been the book for expectant mothers since the first edition was published in 1984 (although not without controversy...critics claim it makes expectant mothers paraonid by only concentrating on what can go wrong and enforcing strict dietary guidlines, and because the writer, Heidi Murkoff, is not a registered nurse, and only goes to medical professionals for advice after she's done writing).  Virtually every movie dealing with pregnancy has the pregnant female character reading it at some point. But as an advice book, the book has no storyline.  That hasn't stopped Lionsgate from transforming it into a movie.  This isn't ne

3/4 Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley, Jason Mantzoukas Rated R for Strong Crude and Sexual Content, Brief Male Nudity, Language and Some Violent Images With "Borat" and "Bruno," Sacha Baron Cohen proved himself to be a master satirist.  He fearlessly exposed the most embarrassing aspects of American culture while keeping his audiences in stitches.  Cohen knows no shame and there's nothing that he won't do (the MPAA excepting) for a laugh.  But with his TV show and his first two films, Cohen used the documentary format as a way of confronting these truths.  With his new film, "The Dictator," Cohen opts for a more traditional film medium: using professional actors and filming techniques. Although not as ferociously funny as his previous features, it's still good for some chuckles and a few big laughs. General Aladeen (Cohen) is the dictator of the small African country of Wadiya. He's a narcissist to the extreme,

3.5/4 Starring: Juliette Binoche, Alfred Molina, Judi Dench, Victoire Thivisol, Carrie-Anne Moss, Lena Olin, Peter Stormare, Johnny Depp Rated PG-13 for A Scene of Sensuality and Some Violence "Chocolat" is a delightful confection that is as warm and sensuous as the chocolate from which the film gets its name.  It's a feel-good movie that makes you crave chocolate. In a small French town, life is stable, restricted and unchanging.  It is effectively ruled by the reactionary mayor, Comte de Reynaud (Molina), who resists change and prides himself on the town's ability to resist any sort of temptation and keep their noses out of anyone's business.  This is a grim and gray place.  One day, a woman and her daughter, both wearing red cloaks, blow in with the North Wind, and set up a chocolateirie.  At first, Reynaud is welcoming, but tells them that it's Lent, and no one will be able to buy from them for a while.  Then the woman, Vianne (Binoche) tells him t

3/4 Starring: Chaney Kley, Emma Caulfield, Lee Cormie, Sullivan Stapleton, Joshua Anderson, Emily Browning Rated PG-13 for Terror and Horror Images, and Brief Language I suppose since Santa Claus (the infamous "Silent Night, Deadly Night" franchise), Jack Frost (the direct-to-DVD movies) and the Boogeyman (the "Boogeyman" movies), all childhood archetypes, have their own horror movies, it's only fair that the Tooth Fairy gets the opportunity to mount a few heads on her wall. In the 1800's, there was a woman, Matilda Dickson, whom children would bring their teeth after they've fallen out.  In exchange, she gave them a gold coin.  This is why she was called the Tooth Fairy.  But a fire disfigured her and left her unable to go into the light without a porcelain mask.  One day, two children went missing.  Dickson was blamed then hanged.  She was innocent, however, and the she vowed revenge.  Now, when she takes kids final teeth from under thei

3/4 Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgaard, Tadanobu Asano, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Gregory T. Gadson, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Violence, Action and Destruction, and for Language Boy, James Berardinelli is going to hate me for this... I doubt he actually reads my reviews, but he vilified  this movie.  I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but I had fun watching this movie.  I can see his point.  It's noisy, frentic, loud...I've run out of descriptors and synonyms.  It's also dumb, cliched and loud.  Loud, loud, loud.  There were times when I wanted to cover my ears because it was so loud, and the sounds that the alien ships make when they lock on to a target are incredibly grating.  I'm looking forward to watching Anthony Hopkins in "The Remains of the Day" so my head will stop ringing. And yet, for those who are looking for loud and noisy action movies and are sick of superheros (or have se

3/4 Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Bella Heathcote, Helena Bonham Carter, Chloe Grace Moretz, Jackie Earle Haley Rated PG-13 for Comic Horror Violence, Sexual Content, Some Drug Use, Language and Smoking Tim Burton has an affinity for the weird, the gothic and the bizarre.  And Johnny Depp.  His new movie, "Dark Shadows," is based on the cult TV series, and that's obvious.  There are too many characters, too many things going on, and a lot of potential.  But no one can claim that it isn't fun. In 1752, the Collins family sets sail for the new world and strikes it rich in the fishing industry.  The town that forms around them is named after them and so is their large home.  Twenty years later, their young son Barnabas (Depp) has become a pillar of the community, but he's also a womanizer.  One of his flings is with Angelique Bouchard (Green), who happens to be a witch.  She loves him, but Barnabas is in love with the lovely Jose

2/4 Starring: Katie Holmes, Patricia Clarkson, Oliver Platt, Derek Luke, Alison Pill Rated PG-13 for Language, Sensuality, Drug Content and Images of Nudity "Pieces of April" is a visually dazzling but shallow dramedy.  It has all the earmarks of something that Miramax would have bought in its heyday: quirky-but-everyday people, perfect mis-en-scene, gritty cinematography, natrualist plot, and so on.  The problem here is that the characters, while well-acted across the board, are thinly developed which makes the minimalist plot of everyday goings on plodding rather than engaging. April (Holmes) is a worldly hipster living in a rundown apartment in New York City.  She has invited her family to come celebrate Thanksgiving with her in her apartment, but her relationship with them is so strained that she only half believes that they will actually show up.  But she's struggling to pull it all together (she's never cooked before) when disaster strikes: her oven brea

2/4 Starring: Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Natasha Henstridge, Marg Helgenberger, Forest Whittaker, Alfred Molina, Michelle Williams Rated R for Sci-Fi Violence, Strong Sexuality and Some Language The term "cheesy" has been used to describe films that are so bad that they're good.  Tobe Hooper's ridiculous "horror" movie "The Mangler" fits into this category.  Some movies, like Paul Verhoeven's " Starship Troopers ," have used this to their advantage.  Others have worked as both cheesefests and legitimate entertainment.  " Anaconda " is one of these.  Look at the star rating.  Guess which category "Species" belongs in. Six years ago, SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) received a message from another world that allowed them to merge alien DNA with our own.  But the scientists behind the project got nervous, and it was decided to kill the creature.  But it, a young girl (Williams), escaped, and

I watched the movie " Trust " a few nights ago, and it got me thinking.  The MPAA gave the film an R rating, and at first glance, it makes sense.  No kid needs to see the rape of a teenage girl.  But now, I'm not so sure. Kids, especially tween girls, are exposed to a lot of information and images these days, and their young minds aren't sure how to process it.  Marketers target them because they're naiive and get money from their parents, thus making them a lucrative market.  But not all of it is good, and parents aren't realizing it.  Sure, Britney Spears' lyrics are free of profanity, but she dresses and dances in an extremely sexualized way.  And parents bought their kids, mostly young girls, her albums by the truckload.  The "Twilight" movies are another, more recent, case in point.  The films put so much emphasis on Bella needing Edward to protect her and their love (I'll admit that I've only seen the first film, but the romantic

3.5/4 Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Carlo Cecchi, Irene Grazioli, Anita Laurenzi, Jean-Luc Bideau, Christoph Koncz, Jason Flemyng, Greta Scacchi, Sylvia Chang, Don McKellar, Colm Feore Rated R for Some Sexuality There are two reasons why I like this movie: I am a history buff and I love stories.  Although "The Red Violin" is fictional, it feels like a true story.  This isn't a biopic of a person, however.  The subject is actually a violin. In Montreal, there is an auction for a number of rare string instruments.  But the one that everyone is talking about is the famed "Red Violin."  It was created in 1681, the final work by famed craftsman Niccolo Bussotti (Cecchi).  He intends for the violin, his masterpiece, to be for his soon-to-be-born son, but his wife and child die in labor.  The violin travels across Europe, ending up in the hands of a prodigy (Koncz) and his teacher (Bideau), a vain composer (Flemyng) and his lover (Scacchi), and surviving the Gre

3/4 Starring: Sandra Bullock, Michael Caine, Benjamin Bratt, Candice Bergen, William Shatner, Ernie Hudson Rated PG-13 for Sexual References and A Scene of Violence The reason why "Pygmalion" is so often used as a template for drama is because we respond to the desire to better ourselves, or in this case, people who need it.  And no one is in more need of a makeover than FBI Agent Gracie Hart. Gracie Hart (Bullock) is as tough as they come.  She's got more testosterone than estrogen.  She's rude, crude and packs a nasty right hook.  Her temper flares with little provocation and cares little for manners or personal appearance.  But a terrorist named The Citizen has targeted the Miss United States Pageant, and the only way to stop him is to make an undercover agent a contestant.  And the only one available is Gracie.  She doesn't want the job, but she's got no choice after getting into some hot water on her last assignment.  It's going to take a mira

3.5/4 Starring: Liana Liberato, Clive Owen, Catherine Keener, Viola Davis, Jason Clarke, Chris Henry Coffey Rated R for Disturbing Content involving the Rape of a Teen, Language, Sexual Content and Some Violence The beauty of this film is that director David Schwimmer takes his time.  He doesn't rush things and makes sure we understand and know the characters and what drives them.  Without that, the film would turn into a "tearjerker of the week" worthy of Lifetime.  But with a subtle and non-exploitative touch, Schwimmer turns this film into an honest and perceptive look at something that, sadly, happens more often than we would like to think. Annie Cameron (Liberato) is a normal 14-year-old girl.  She has a few friends, but longs to be popular and have a boyfriend; she probably reads too many teen magazines and watches too many "Twilight-ish" movies, although this isn't delved into.  Her parents, Will (Owen) and Lynn (Keener) love her dearly, and s

1/4 Starring: Albert Brooks, Sharon Stone, Andie MacDowell, Jeff Bridges Rated PG-13 for Brief Nudity Oh, the ironies... Stephen Phillips (Brooks) is a writer who has hit a rut.  "You've lost your edge," they tell him.  In a stroke of good fortune, Stephen's friend Jack (Bridges) gets him in touch with a woman that he claims is one of the Greek Muses.  Her name is Sarah (Stone) and she's willing to help him...for a price. The irony of this movie is that it is completely devoid of ideas when it is about finding inspiration (or paying for it).  There are a number of humorous directions that Brooks, a funny comedian, could have taken it, but Brooks doesn't take any chances.  This is a one-joke movie, and it's not especially funny.  The Griswolds did escalating chaos better in " Christmas Vacation. " For a movie that claims to be about a writer using a muse to write better, it doesn't pay much attention to it.  Most of the movie is sp

3/4 Starring: Saffron Burrows, Thomas Jane, Samuel L. Jackson, LL Cool J, Stellan Skarsgard, Michael Rapaport,  Jacqueline McKenzie, Aida Turturro Rated R for Graphic Shark Attacks, and for Language "Deep Blue Sea" is your average monster movie...except not.  Sure, there are sharks that run amok and most of the cast isn't alive by the final reel, but the script plays our expectations against us.  Just because they are famous or a main character doesn't mean they'll live to see the end credits. Scientist Susan McCallister (Burrows) is studying sharks on board a research facility in the middle of the ocean.  She has genetically manipulated them into growing bigger so she can extract a protein that keeps the shark's brain cells from deteriorating.  But after the sharks got out, her funding may be cut off.  The pharmaceutical company sends Russell Franklin (Jackson) to oversee the extraction of the protein on time.  But something goes wrong, and th

3.5/4 Starring: Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, R. Lee Ermey Rated R for Grisly Afterviews of Horrific and Bizarre Killings, and for Strong Language "Seven," also called "Se7en," is a demented and bizarre chiller that starts in hell and only falls further.  This is a truly grim and creepy movie, and not for the faint of heart.  This is no ordinary "serial killer" movie.  It goes far beyond that, and enters " The Silence of the Lambs " territory. The film takes place in an unnamed city (probably New York).  It's a depressing place; it's always raining, everyone huddles under their jackets and no one cares about anyone else.  World weary Detective William Somerset (Freeman) is six days from retiring.  Until that time, he is paired up with a hotshot new detective from upstate, David Mills (Pitt).  But now, they're faced with a threat they've never seen before: a madman is using the Seven Deadly Sins as a way to ki

4/4 Starring: James Marsden, Gary Oldman, Christopher Lloyd, Amy Smart Rated R for Language and Sexual References Because this oddball little film was recommended to me by my best friend, I will write this review as a thank you letter to him. Dear Best Friend, I honestly don't know what to make of this movie.  Words fail me when I try to describe it.  It's certainly bizarre and quirky, and the movie "Big Fish" comes to mind.  Cineastes might call it a surrealist expose on the search for the American identity.  With all due respect, writer/director Bob Gale would probably tell them to shut up and actually watch the movie. As I'm sure you know the plot, you can skip this paragraph if you want, since it's for readers who haven't seen it (or more likely, haven't heard of it).  Neal Oliver (Marsden) is a young artist who has been living his father's (John Bourgeois) life.  His dad essentially wants his son to live the life that he did: becom

3.5/4 Starring: Ashley Judd, Jeffrey Donovan, Laura Prepon Rated R for Language and Some Sexual Situations It's always been clear that Ashley Judd has been a strong actress.  From "Heat" to "High Crimes," Judd has always lit up the screen whenever she was on.  Sadly for her, big budget scripts don't usually allow for much depth.  In "Come Early Morning," Judd shows just how amazing she can be. Lucy (Judd) is a deeply troubled woman.  She drinks too much, sleeps with a lot of guys then bolts away the morning after.  She equates sex with intimacy and has built up so many walls around her that she is unable to form a human connection.  In walks Cal (Donovan), a nice guy who saves her from getting her ass kicked by the local bully.  They tentatively form a relationship, but it's difficult going for them because she is too afraid to let down her guard. This is Judd's film through and through.  Present in every scene, this is all about

1.5/4 Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hiddleston, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence and Action Throughout, and a Mild Drug Reference What a cast!  What hype!  What a disappointment!  It's the fanboys' wet dream, and it's been building for four years.  Each of the main characters has at least one movie to their credit and they've all teamed up for one giant movie.  It's a complete letdown. An object called the Tesseract has been stolen by the demigod Loki (Hiddleston).  He's taking it so another alien race can come and destroy the Earth.  S.H.I.E.L.D has brought together all the big Marvel superheroes: Iron Man, aka Tony Stark (Downey, Jr.), Captain America, aka Steve Rogers (Evans), The Incredible Hulk aka Bruce Banner (Ruffalo) and the other demigod, Thor (Hemsworth) to fight back. It doesn't take much thought to realize that this i

3/4 Starring: Jason Statham, Catherine Chan, Reggie Lee, Robert John Burke, James Hong, Chris Sarandon, Anson Mount Rated R for Strong Violence Throughout, and for Language The good news about Boaz Yakin's new film is that, for all its flaws, it's infinitely better than his last feature, the unspeakably bad art-porn " Death in Love ."  Although Yakin has the unfortunate tendency to shake the camera frenetically, he does raise the adrenaline level to acceptable standards.  For those who crave lots and lots of R-rated violence, this will fit the bill. The plot is little more than a thread that allows Jason Statham to do what he does best: kick major ass.  And believe me, he does.  The body count is in the high double digits, and it comes close to matching " Shoot 'Em Up " in terms of bullets fired (albeit without the humor). In any event, the plot involves a little girl named Mei (Chan), who has what appears to be a photographic memory.  She is ki

3/4 Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Alfred Molina, Rosemary Harris, J.K. Simmons Rated PG-13 for Stylized Action Violence Because the first one  was such a mega success, a sequel was inevitable.  The whole crew is back; Maguire, Dunst, Franco, Harris, Raimi and producer Laura Ziskin.  It's actually quite a bit better than the first one, too. Peter Parker (Maguire) has settled into his job as Spider-Man.  He is skilled at using his powers and wears his suit under his clothes just in case.  But being a superhero is a full-time job, and because of the anonymity required, it doesn't pay for tuition or the rent.  Trying to be a superhero and a normal person at the same time is taking its toll on Peter.  Mary Jane (Dunst) is fed up with his bailing on her.  Ditto for Harry (Franco), who still believes that Spider-Man killed his father.  His grades are also suffering, as he is constantly told by his professor, Curt Connors (Dylan Baker).  Peter is thinkin

3/4 Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Willem Dafoe, Rosemary Harris, Cliff Robertson Rated PG-13 for Stylized Violence and Action "Spider-Man" brought in the new superhero craze that has been going on for the last decade and a half (and unfortunately shows no signs of stopping).  It's a fun movie that successfully treads the line between a comic-book come to life and a regular big budget movie.  By no means is it groundbreaking, but it is good entertainment. Peter Parker (Maguire) is your average geek.  He is constantly bullied, can't talk to Mary Jane Watson (Dunst), the gorgeous redhead next door (with whom he has long held a secret affection) and has only one friend, the rich flunkie Harry Osborn (Franco).  One day on a field trip, Peter is bitten by a genetically engineered "super-spider" and discovers that he has some amazing super powers: he has become incredibly fit overnight, he can shoot webs and swing from them, he can s

3/4 Starring: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Rob Schneider, Blake Clark, Amy Hill, Sean Astin Rated PG-13 for Crude Sexual Humor and Drug References Romantic comedies are fairly common.   Good  romantic comedies are rare.  The most frequent problems are that chemistry is pushed aside in favor of box office appeal and the romance is hampered by plot complications.  "50 First Dates" works because the leads have chemistry (their first romantic comedy, "The Wedding Singer," was a box office smash) and because the script by George Wing allows the humor to germinate from the plot, rather than forcing it in there.  And it doesn't sacrifice scenes where the leads connect for lame jokes. Henry Roth (Sandler) is a womanizing vet in Hawaii.  He specializes in wooing women on vacation then kindly dumping them when they ask for his phone number before they leave.  This way, he gets to bed lots of beautiful women without any complications.  That all changes one day whe

2/4 To be fair to the documentary by Susan Muska and Greta Olafsdottir, it came before the searing "Boys Don't Cry," the narrative version of the same story.  In all honesty though, I don't think I would have given "The Brandon Teena Story" a much higher rating if I hadn't seen Kimberly Pierce's film first.  This documentary is as bland as its title. On December 31, 1993, Brandon Teena (official name Teena Brandon) was brutally murdered along with her friend Lisa Lambert and Philip Devine, a week after she was raped by her killers, John Lotter and Tom Nissen.  What reason was there for this senseless crime?  Brandon had passed herself off as a male when she was in fact a female. This documentary is little more than a series of clips explaining who Brandon was and what happened to him.  It's a by the numbers construction, and while I don't doubt that the filmmakers had passion and reverence for their subject, it's not a good telling