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Showing posts from July, 2015

Vacation

3/4 Starring: Ed Helms, Christina Applegate, Skyler Gisondo, Steele Stebbins, Chris Hemsworth Rated R for Crude and Sexual Content and Language Throughout, and for Brief Graphic Nudity "National Lampoon's Vacation" has not aged well.  Even as a preteen, I found it dated and rather toothless.  To be quite frank, the only one in the franchise that's worth seeing is " Christmas Vacation ," a common holiday staple (and for good reason).  So it makes more sense to reboot it than in other cases where the franchise probably should have been left to rest. Rusty Griswold (Helms) is a pilot at a minor airline who feels bad that he can't afford to take his family on the big lavish vacations that they deserve.  So while his wife Debbie (Applegate) is gushing over the pictures of his neighbors' trip to Paris (one of which is the incredibly irritating Keegan-Michael Key, sadly...it would have been funnier if they had gotten Denzel Washington or even Idris

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

3/4 Starring: Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Sean Harris, Alec Baldwin, Ving Rhames Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Action and Violence, and for Brief Partial Nudity The "Mission: Impossible" franchise, based on the TV series from the has always been reliable for dumb, but fun, entertainment.  But the question is, has the franchise run out of gas? This newest entry into the long-running series boasts a great premise: a secret organization called The Syndicate dedicated to carrying out acts of terror around the globe.  They're highly trained and very successful.  Naturally, Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is on their trail, but he's gone rogue.  At the insistence of CIA director Alan Hunley (Baldwin), the IMF has been disavowed (despite their success, they have been responsible for a substantial amount of death and destruction).  Because Ethan refuses to come in, he has been labeled a traitor.  Now he and Benji (Pegg), the one guy who has stuck by hi

Tape

2.5/4 Starring: Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard, Uma Thurman Rated R for Language and Drug Content There is potential in "Tape," but it is mostly unrealized.  I have nothing against talky scripts, but that would imply that the characters have something interesting to say.  "Tape" is occasionally compelling but just as often dull. Vince (Hawke) and John (Leonard) are old friends from high school.  While John has grown up to become a small-time filmmaker, Vince is stuck in a state of arrested development and working as a volunteer firefighter while supplementing his income by selling drugs.  They're both in Michigan to see John's new film at the Lansing Film Festival.  Initially, their meeting is jovial, but Vince, who is drunk and high, soon steers the conversation to a girl from their past: Amy (Thurman).  Vince and Amy dated throughout high school, but she dumped him her senior year.  Shortly thereafter, John slept with her.  The question is, was i

Terminator Genisys

2.5/4 Starring: Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Clarke Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence and Gunplay Throughout, Partial Nudity and Brief Strong Language Another summer, another year of Hollywood studios desperate to keep long-running franchises going.  To be fair, "Terminator Genisys" isn't a bad film.  It has its flaws, mainly with the fact that it doesn't take enough chances, but it's not terrible. As we all know, when Skynet came online, they destroyed the world and went to war with the survivors.  The human leader, John Connor (Clarke), is the biggest threat to Skynet, so they sent back a Terminator to 1984 to kill his mother, Sarah, and...well, unless you've never seen any of the movies, you know the story. In this new "Terminator" film, the humans are launching one final offensive against the machines that could finally bring down Skynet for good.  They succeed, but not before Skynet sends

Trainwreck

3.5/4 Starring: Amy Schumer, Bill Hader, Brie Larson, LeBron James, Tilda Swinton, Colin Quinn Rated R for Strong Sexual Content, Nudity, Language and Some Drug Use Judd Apatow has made a career out of mixing hilarious and raunchy humor with touching romance and emotional honesty.  While I enjoyed "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and "Knocked Up," this is a much more successful film.  The comedy is less hit-and-miss, and the romance is not only highly attuned, but more effective.  The chemistry between the two leads burns. Shortly after telling his daughters that he and his wife are splitting up, Gordon (Quinn) tells them that fidelity is a sham and that sleeping with different people is entirely normal.  It's a lesson that Amy (Schumer) takes to heart.  She sleeps with any man possessing the correct body parts.  And I mean any .  So one day she is sent to do an article on a new hotshot sports surgeon (Hader) and much to her surprise, she starts to like the guy.

The Vatican Tapes

1.5/4 Starring: Olivia Dudley, Dougary Scott, John Patrick Amedori, Michael Pena. Djimon Hounsou, Peter Andersson Rated PG-13 for Disturbing Violent Content, and Some Sexual References Ever since "The Exorcist" terrified audiences in 1973, the subject has come up in horror movies at regular intervals.  Few of them have been any good (the only one that leaps to mind is " The Exorcism of Emily Rose ," which I have realized that I underrated it in my original review).  "The Exorcist" has not aged well.  I've seen it twice, and both times found it silly and dull rather than spooky.  But it was at least better than "The Vatican Tapes," which is a shoo-in for my Bottom 10 list this year. After receiving a cut on her hand, Angela (Dudley) is starting to behave strangely.  Her sunny personality is turning sour, and she's looking more and more worn out.  It isn't long before she starts hearing things and speaking in tongues.  Her hipst

Pixels

2.5/4 Starring: Adam Sandler, Michelle Monaghan, Josh Gad, Kevin James, Peter Dinklage, Matt Lintz Rated PG-13 for Some Language and Suggestive Comments "Pixels" has a fantastic concept: having old-school video game characters run amok and try to destroy the world while a group of old gamers try to stop them.  The action and comedic possibilities are limitless.  Unfortunately, in this Sander-ized script, they're mostly unrealized. In 1982, friends Brenner (Anthony Ippolito) and Cooper (Jared Riley) attend a video game competition.  There, they meet a paranoid gamer named Ludlow (Jacob Shinder), whom they befriend, and Eddie (Andrew Bambridge), whom they do not.  Eventually, it all comes down to hopeful Brenner and the egotistical Eddie, with the latter winning.  A recording of the video game competition is sent, among other things, into deep space in the hopes of contacting an alien civilization. Cut to today.  Brenner (Sandler) is a tech installer and Cooper (J

Ted 2

3.5/4 Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Jessica Barth, Giovanni Ribisi, John Carroll Lynch, John Slattery, and the voice of Seth MacFarlane Rated R for Crude and Sexual Content, Pervasive Language, and Some Drug Use As much as I loved " Ted " (it made my Top 10 list that year), I didn't think it would be well-served with a sequel.  It told a complete story, and more importantly, the source of humor appeared to be fully exploited by the end of the film.  But because it became the highest grossing R-rated comedy of all time, it was only a matter of time before we saw the foul-mouthed, pot-obsessed teddy bear again on the big screen.  My excitement died down when I saw the first trailer, but rest easy.  Ted's as hilarious as ever. Ted (MacFarlane) has just married the love of his life, Tami-Lynn (Barth).  But their wedded bliss is short-lived; a year later, they're on the verge of splitting up.  A co-worker suggests that their problems would be solved

Ant-Man

3/4 Starring: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Corey Stoll, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Pena, Bobby Cannevale, Abby Ryder Fortson, Judy Greer Rated PG-13 for Sci-Fi Action Violence Long have I bemoaned the superhero movie.  Not just their generic formulas, but that they seem to come out every week without end.  And it's not going to stop (Marvel Studios, with the backing of Disney who now owns them, made sure of that with " The Avengers ") any time soon...they've got new entrants planned til 2020.  And when the budget gets too big or the actors get too tired of their characters (and the time demands associated with them), they'll just reboot the franchise.  Sigh... I can at least breathe easier when I say that "Ant-Man" is at least entertaining.  It lacks the angst and cornball dialogue of most Marvel movies and isn't bogged down by an endless supply of in-jokes, references and set-ups for future installments (two things that kept both "Avenger

Black Rock

3/4 Starring: Kate Bosworth, Lake Bell, Katie Aselton, Jay Paulson, Will Bouvier, Anslem Richardson Rated R for Some Strong Violence, Pervasive Language, Sexual References and Brief Graphic Nudity "Black Rock" works because it knows exactly what it wants to be.  This is a visceral cat-and-mouse thriller on a deserted island.  There's no flashy camera tricks (although the cinematography by Hillary Spera is certainly evocative) and no needless philosophical musings.  It's a fight to the death, plain and simple. Sarah (Bosworth) and Lou (Bell) are going camping on an island they used to go to when they were girls.  What Sarah doesn't tell her is that their old friend Abby (Aselton) is joining them.  That's because there's some bad blood between the two (Lou slept with Abby's boyfriend six years ago).  Nevertheless, they go to the island, where they run into the brother of an old school chum.  His name is Derek (Paulson), and he's out hunting w

A Separation

3.5/4 Starring: Peyman Moaadi, Leila Hatami, Sarina Farhadi, Sareh Bayat, Shahab Hosseini, Ali-Asghar Shabazi Rated PG-13 for Mature Thematic Material "A Separation," the 2011 art house smash, is a film of paradoxes.  Deceptively simple yet endlessly complex, foreign yet universal, civil yet criminal, understated yet arresting.  It defies easy description and it's not relaxing entertainment.  But it is gripping and heartfelt. Nader (Moaadi) and Simin (Hatami) have been married for fourteen years, and have an 11-year-old daughter, Termeh (Farhadi).  They are trying to obtain a divorce, but not because they are unhappy with each other.  In point of fact, they love each other deeply but are at an impasse in which neither is able to budge.  Simin wants to leave Iran, believing that Termeh would have a better future elsewhere.  Nader would go with them were it not for his ailing father (Shabazi), who is the final stages of Alzheimer's.  Because neither party is gui

In the Land of Blood and Honey

2/4 Starring: Zana Marjanovic, Goran Kostic, Rade Serbedzija Rated R for War Violence and Atrocities including Rape, Sexuality, Nudity and Language I was in elementary school when the Bosnian War occurred, so my memories of hearing about it on the news are slim.  The only thing I can recall is a poem I wrote decrying the violence and in which I compared Slobodan Milosevic to Saddam Hussein and Adolph Hitler (an apt comparison, as it turns out). For all of its dramatic possibilities, the Bosnian War is something that Hollywood shies away from.  It's not surprising, considering the hopelessly complex factors that brought about the worst European conflict since World War II.  While no one can call any war simple, the Bosnian War erupted after centuries of conflict.  In that sense, I've got to hand it to Angelina Jolie for tackling it head on, especially since it was her first time writing and directing a film.  Unfortunately, it's not a very good film. Alja (Marjanov

Minions

3/4 Starring (voices): Pierre Coffin, Sandra Bullock, John Hamm, Jennifer Saunders, Michael Keaton, Allison Janney, Steve Coogan, Geoffrey Rush Rated PG for Action and Rude Humor The Minions are funny.  Steve Carrell may have been the star of "Despicable Me" and its sequel, but it was the Minions who stole the show.  They're funny because they are so silly and happy-go-lucky in the midst of the most dire situations, and they pursue the ridiculous goal of assisting a supervillain with the zeal of a fanatic, despite the fact that they are totally incompetent to do so.  It also helps that they are irresistibly cute. I was wary approaching this movie.  As big of scene-stealers as they are, I didn't think that they lent themselves to a full-length feature.  They're better in small bites, and directors Kyle Balda and Pierre Coffin know this.  The story, such as it is, is paper thin, and is just a clothesline to build up the Minions' antics.  It's just st

The Homesman

0.5/4 Starring: Hilary Swank, Tommy Lee Jones Rated R for Violence, Sexual Content, Some Disturbing Behavior and Nudity Movies as bad as "The Homesman" don't come along very often, for which I am eternally grateful.  They're so awful that they will make a person never want to watch another movie.  They're rare enough among the direct-to-DVD pickings, but when they have three Oscar-winners and two nominees in their cast, it's astonishing.  "88 Minutes" has got nothing on the sheer tedium of "The Homesman." Of course, I shouldn't be too surprised.  It was directed by Tommy Lee Jones himself.  Despite working with some of the best talent in the movie business (Oliver Stone, Steven Spielberg, Robert Altman, among others), he absorbed none of their talents for storytelling.  Another film that he co-wrote and directed, "The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada," was so bad I turned it off after about 20 minutes.  After watchi

When a Stranger Calls (1979)

3/4 Starring: Charles Durning, Carol Kane, Tony Beckley, Colleen Dewhurst Rated R (probably PG-13 for Some Language, and Terror/Violence and Gore) "When A Stranger Calls" began its life as a short called, of all things, "The Sitter" (a name that would be used decades later for a Jonah Hill comedy).  But after the massive and entirely unexpected success of "Halloween," co-writer/director Fred Walton thought that it could be expanded into a feature film.  He was partly right.  The opening twenty minutes are splendidly creepy with the climax coming in close second.  But the middle portion is rubbish. Jill Johnson (Kane) is babysitting for the Mandrakis family.  Soon she begins to receive strange phone calls.  At first they annoy her, but then they start to scare her.  With the Mandrakis couple at a movie and the police rendered impotent by red tape, Jill is scared out of her wits.  Then she finds the truth about the caller... Cut to seven years late

Before I Go to Sleep

2/4 Starring: Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth, Mark Strong Rated R for Some Brutal Violence and Language "Before I Go to Sleep" is another example of the phrase we critics toss around every now and then: good premise, bad execution.  The idea behind the film, an amnesiac who doesn't know whether to trust her husband or her doctor (or either), is a great concept.  Unfortunately, the film suffers from very little narrative momentum, flat characterizations, and a sorely miscast Colin Firth. Christine (Kidman) can't make new memories.  When she goes to sleep, she forgets everything that happened during the day.  Her husband, Ben (Firth), assists her in every way he can, although there are times when it gets to be too much for him.  Christine is also in contact with Dr. Nasch (Strong), who says he's her doctor.  Ben doesn't know this, and Dr. Nasch tells her that it's better this way.  He also tells her to use a camera as a confessional to help her jog her m

The Collector

2/4 Starring: Josh Stewart, Karley Scott Collins, Andrea Roth, Michael Reilly Burke, Madeline Zima Rated R for Pervasive Sadistic Bloody Violence, Language and Some Sexuality/Nudity During my junior year of college, I took an "Intro to Philosophy" course.  It seemed interesting, and plus it seems as though everyone has to take some sort of philosophy course in college.  One of the "thought experiments" was the ethics regarding a sadist.  Like, if you put a sadistic serial killer on a deserted planet, would you feel comfortable letting him loose?  Or something like that. I thought about that experiment a lot while watching "The Collector."  While we unfortunately have not acquired the ability to travel through space, the mask-wearing psychopath from this movie would be a perfect candidate for this experiment.  The Collector relishes pain and violence to the point where by comparison Jigsaw, the villain from the "Saw" franchise that gave bi

Dracula (1931)

3/4 Starring: Bela Lugosi, Edward Van Sloan, Helen Chandler, David Manners, Dwight Frye, Herbert Bunston Not Rated (Probably PG for Horror) Before Anne Rice created the tormented, soulful vampire that gave birth to everything from "Blade" to " Twilight ," vampires were the ultimate evil.  Spawns of Satan whose signature action of drinking their victim's blood was a metaphor for rape as oppose to romantic ecstasy.  Tod Browning's "Dracula" wasn't the first time the world's most famous vampire reached the silver screen (F.W. Murnau's highly regarded silent film "Nosferatu" came out 9 years earlier, although due to a legal dispute with Bram Stoker's widow, it couldn't use the Count's name and many details had to be changed...it ended up being all for naught because Ms. Stoker sued the filmmakers, and won), but it was the first to use the name "Dracula."  It's not a great movie, but it contains enou