Mike's Movie Tips

4/4 Starring: Chris Pine, Cameron Daddo, Peter Greene, Lukas Behnken, Bruce Davison, Tom Bosley, Kate Vernon, Adam Bussell Rated R for Some Violence The best thrillers are not about plots, but about characters.  Characters that are put into unenviable circumstances and struggle to get out of them as the nooses get ever tighter.  While movies like "Seven" and "The Silence of the Lambs" have their pleasures, movies like "Confession" are in some ways more potent because they're about people that have the same impulses we do. Luther Scott (Pine) is the troublemaker at St. Michael's Prep.  He'll lie and con just about anyone for booze, drugs or porn (for the right price), has zero respect for authority, and does whatever he wants (including visiting his girlfriend at the sister school).  But when a party he throws soils the reputation of the school for a powerful senator (Robert Pine, Chris's father), Luther and his roommate, Robbie (Beh

2.5/4 Starring: Kevin Spacey, Gabriel Byrne, Chazz Palminteri, Stephen Baldwin, Kevin Pollack, Benicio Del Toro, Dan Hedaya Rated R for Violence and a Substantial Amount of Strong Language "The Usual Suspects" is a mystery so convoluted that it essentially requires a play-by-play synopsis to figure out what is going on, or more appropriately, what really happened.  An unreliable narrator, a plot that doubles back on itself and forces you to step back and analyze whether what you saw is the truth...the film is never dull.  But it's also often incomprehensible. 27 men are dead on a pier in an apparent drug deal gone bad.  But the $91 million haul wasn't even there.  There are two survivors: one, a severely burned Hungarian criminal named Arkosh Kovash (Morgan Hunter) and the other, a meek con-artist with cerebral palsy named Verbal Klint (Spacey).  Having been granted immunity, he's on his way out the door when he is stopped by Customs Agent Kujan (Palminter

2/4 Starring: Dylan Fergus, Andrew Levitas, Matt Phillips, Hank Harris, Bryan Kirkwood Rated R for Strong Horror Violence and Gore, Sexual Content, Language and Drug Use I suppose it's only fair that since there are so many crappy horror movies featuring straight characters getting butchered that there be one with gay characters ending up in the morgue in various ways.  Actually, for a slasher movie that appeared to have been made for next to nothing, "HellBent" isn't half bad.  It looks like shit (not that that's an excuse..."Halloween" was made for $325,000 in 1978 dollars, which comes out to almost $1.2 million today, and that's pretty cheap), but at least writer/director Paul Etherage-Ouzts) knows how to make the most of it.  The shot selection is reasonably dynamic and there are some truly creepy scenes. Eddie (Fergus) would be a cop had he not lost an eye in an accident.  I guess it makes sense that he's the worrywart of his group o

3/4 Starring: Tobey Maguire, Leonardo DiCaprio, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Elizabeth Debicki, Isla Fisher, Jason Clarke Rated PG-13 for Some Violent Images, Sexual Content, Smoking, Partying and Brief Language The thing that made Jay Gatsby so interesting is that despite his unbelievable charisma and all we know about him, he remains an enigma.  It's only at the end that we realize that we don't know much about him.  We understand what drives him, but there is still a huge aura of mystery about him.  That is what makes him so compelling and so maddeningly captivating.  The best thing about the film version is that it remembers this. Nick Carraway (Maguire) is a midwesterner looking to make his fortune in the financial business selling bonds.  He's a writer, but he abandoned that because the lure of quick and insane amounts of cash was irresistible.  He moves into a cottage across from his cousin, Daisy Buchanan (Mulligan), who is married to the extremely wealthy

3/4 Starring: Dan Monahan, Mark Herrier, Wyatt Knight, Roger Wilson, Cyril O'Reilly, Tony Ganios, Boyd Gaines, Kim Cattrall, Chuck Mitchell, Scott Colomby Rated R for Pervasive Sexual Content, Nudity, Language and Some Violence (I Guess) Let me ask you a question.  Can a critic, in good conscience, give a positive review to a mess of a film that has no coherent plot, absolutely zero character development, and only a few funny scenes?  Ordinarily, I think not.  But such is the case with "Porky's."  There are some amusing bits here and there, but there are many that don't land.  There is, however, a sequence that has to last at least five minutes, if not longer, that is absolutely hysterical.  I was nearly crying I was laughing so hard.  You don't see that very often. As I said, there's not much of a plot in this movie, just a series of comic set pieces of varying quality.  They revolve around six guys and their quest of sex, or failing that, a look

2.5/4 Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, William Baldwin, Joanna Pacula, Donald Sutherland Rated R for Sci-Fi Violence/Gore, and for Language "Virus" is a guilty pleasure.  The acting is weak, the dialogue is crap, the story is thin, and it's dumber than dumb, but it is sort of fun. The crew of the salvage vessel Sea Star has been pulling a broken down barge through a hurricane.  It's about to sink them as well, but the borderline psychotic captain Everton (Sutherland), has risked everything he has on the salvage, so he's not about to let the barge go down.  Eventually, the chain breaks and he has no choice.  His luck changes when he and the crew come across the Akademik Vladislav Volkov , a high-tech Russian military vessel.  It's dead in the water, so salvaging it will make them stinking rich.  But they're not alone on the ship.  There's a terrified survivor, Nadia (Pacula), who informs them that an alien energy took over the ship via the Mir spac

1/4 Starring: Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan, James Badge Dale Rated NC-17 for Some Explicit Sexual Content I was wary of seeing "Shame" after suffering through Steve McQueen's (not the legendary epitome of cool) first "film," "Hunger."  That film boasted an interesting premise: the last days of hunger striker Bobby Sands (also played by Michael Fassbender), but it was ruined by an extraordinary amount of self-indulgence (an hour of people beating the crap out of each other, screaming and smearing feces on the walls...compelling stuff to be sure).  "Shame" suffers from the same problem: good premise, excessive ego. Brandon (Fassbender) is a young professional living in New York City.  He's handsome, but quiet and reserved.  His boss, the fast talking womanizer (who is in fact married) David (Dale), likes him.  So do a few of his co-workers.  But what no one knows is that Brandon is a sex-addict.  He is driven by a need for sex

4/4 Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Benedict Cumberbatch, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Action and Violence Of all the movies that are going to be released this summer, none had me more excited than "Star Trek Into Darkness."  I'm not a Trekkie (I got bored with the pilot episode), but I loved the first one .  My excitment for the film increased exponentially when the trailer was released.  Sadly, my hopes were not met.  Don't get me wrong, I had a great time and don't hesitate to recommend the film.  But it's not as good as I'd hoped. James Kirk (Pine) is in trouble...again.  A rescue mission of a planet went sour, and Jim broke the protocol to save Spock from certain death.  Now the Enterprise has been taken away from him, and he's been sent back to the Academy.  His former officer, Pike (Bruce Greenwood), gets him a break and allows him to become his first mate.

2/4 Starring: Jon Favreau, Christian Slater, Cameron Diaz, Leland Orser, Jeremy Piven, Daniel Stern, Jeanne Tripplehorn Rated R for Strong, Grisly Violence, Sexuality, Drug Use and Language "Very Bad Things" would probably have worked better as a short story rather than a feature film.  There's not enough plot to fill up a 90 minute running time, and what happens in the film would probably be better left to the imagination.  The plot is twisted enough, I guess, and there are some amusing moments, but it seems to drag. Kyle Fisher (Favreau) is getting married to the beautiful, if wedding-obsessed, Laura Garrety (Diaz).  To celebrate, he's going to Las Vegas with his best friends: Type A Boyd (Slater), quiet Moore (Orser) and the Berkow brothers, motormouthed Michael (Piven) and neurotic Adam (Stern).  Things are going great and the boys are having fun drinking, gambling and doing coke.  To top it off, Boyd has hired a prostitute named Tina (porn star Kobe Tai)

3/4 Starring: Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis, Joel Virgel, Mona Hammond, and the voice of Omar Sharif Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Intense Action and Violence By nearly every critical standard, "10,000 B.C." is a terrible movie.  The plot could charitably be called thin, the acting is awful, the dialogue is embarrassing (the narration by Omar Sharif seems to never end as well) and the CGI is unbelievable cheesy.  And yet, there is an admittedly perverse enjoyment to be found within Roland Emmerich's ancient "epic."  The first half is loaded with laughs (none of which are intentional) and the second half features some truly impressive visuals. The story doesn't make a lot of sense, mainly due to the poor writing (by Emmerich and longtime composer Harald Kloser).  Much of it has to do with some sort of prophecy involving the town outcast, D'Leh (Strait), whose father abandoned the tribe, and Evolet (Belle), the girl who was brought to t

3/4 Featuring: Buck Brannaman Rated PG for Thematic Elements, Mild Language and an Injury When I was growing up, we had an English Setter named Charlie.  Now, Charlie was not the brightest bulb in the bunch (although he did try his best), we did use a choke chain when we took him on walks.  Charlie was an excitable dog, and the thought of going for a walk was almost too much for him to bear.  Using a chain on a leash that tightened if he pulled seemed a little inhumane then, but it seems horrible now (fortunately, Charlie had too big of a heart to even think of getting angry in the slightest at the use of the choke chain).  Now with our Gordon Setters, we used chest harnesses while they were puppies and regular leashes now (and buzz collars just in case--which is frequently). Now, I'm not going to use this review to brag about my dogs, although I could do that because I love them to death.  I do have a point to this story.  Love and acceptance easily get better results fast

2.5/4 Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Wentworth Miller, Gary Sinise, Ed Harris Rated R for Language and Sexuality/Nudity Last night, I reviewed " Teeth ," which was a horror/comedy (that wasn't scary or funny) that had an interesting premise and no follow through.  "The Human Stain" is almost the opposite.  There's a great idea here, just as there was in "Teeth," but while there's a lot of interesting stuff going on, it doesn't serve any point.  "The Human Stain" is a waste of good acting and good story. Coleman Silk (Hopkins) is a respected professor at a small college in New England.  After he calls two students who didn't show up for class "spooks" he is called before a committee for making a racist remark.  But only Coleman is able to appreciate the irony of this due to a secret that he has kept for fifty years: he is black. "The Human Stain" does not suffer from a lack of compelling

1.5/4 Starring: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Lenny von Dohlen, Hale Appleman, Josh Pais Rated R for Disturbing Sequences involving Sexuality and Violence, Language and Some Drug Use If there's one thing I hate more than a movie that doesn't even try to explore its premise, it's a movie that doesn't do anything period.  Mitchell Lichtenstein's "Teeth" is guilty of both crimes.  The premise, a young woman who has the notorious "vagina dentata" and uses it against slimy men who try to take advantage of her, is intriguing.  But not only does the film waste this unique idea, it doesn't do anything of any kind. Dawn (Weixler) is a virginal booster of the promise ring.  Her ability to encourage young people to take a vow of chastity has put her in high demand in her small town, although there are those who think she's old-fashioned and backward (it's here that I should mention that Weixler is so good that she got my sympathy when she

Now that I've publicly come out as gay, I feel I can write this without tiptoeing around the issue of my sexuality (what a relief!). With the gay rights movement gaining more momentum by the day, a lot of gay marriage opponents are adopting an attitude that being criticized for expressing their views is infringing on their right to free speech.  At first, it sounds reasonable.  Shouldn't one be able to express their views without fear of retribution?  Of course.  But this "speech" is different because it is so hurtful. First of all, being criticized for proclaiming that they think homosexuality is a sin, in the right context, is unfair. However, in the public forum, it is not.  When Chris Broussard proclaimed that he felt that homosexuality is a sin on ESPN, the public was furious.  ESPN issued an apology.  An overreaction that infringed on his first amendment rights?  Not at all. The First Amendment says that the government cannot infringe upon one's right

3/4 Starring: JJ Field, Said Taghmaoui, Maria Pappas, Patrick Bruel, Nadim Sawalha, Ian Holm, Tovah Feldshuh Rated R for Some War Scenes I have long awaited a story that tells both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.  It's such a complex conflict that sound bites and quick news stories aren't able to do it justice.  "O Jerusalem" aspires to be the movie that I was looking for, but it could have been so much more. Bobby Goldman (Field) is a Jewish American who has just returned from fighting in World War II.  While at home, he meets Said Chahine (Taghmaoui), an Arab.  Both are paying attention to the burgeoning conflict between the Palestinians and the Jewish people who want to emigrate to the Holy City of Jerusalem.  While Bobby and Said have opposing opinions on who deserves to be in control of Jerusalem, they become fast friends.  Eventually, they both end up in Jerusalem and while initially both appear to be on the side of peace, circumstances force

3/4 Starring: Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Hall, David Bowie, Andy Serkis, Piper Perabo Rated PG-13 for Violence and Disturbing Images Rivalry isn't such a bad thing.  It can cause people to push themselves to win, thus improving at whatever task they're doing.  Consider my dogs, Milton and Molly.  Molly is a little firecracker with the energy of a terrier (they're both Gordon Setters).  She loves chasing her toys.  On occasion, Milton, who is older and bigger, loves to play with them too.  When I throw the toy that they're both interested in, they both tear after it, trying to get it first.  The second place dog usually barks or snarls at the other to give it up.  Sure they make a lot of noise, but will they ever hurt each other?  Absolutely not (at least not intentionally...Milton has accidentally hurt Molly during play, and when that happens, he immediately stops to see if she's okay.  A few seconds later, they

2/4 Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Rebecca Hall, Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley, and the voice of Paul Bettany Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Intense Sci-Fi Action and Violence Throughout, and Brief Suggestive Content The first "Iron Man" was a breath of fresh air.  It wasn't original, but it was well-told by Jon Favreau (who has a small appearance here as Tony Stark's bodyguard).  The sequel wasn't as good, but it was fun at least.  The final film in the trilogy is simply lazy.  There are so many directions it could have gone in, but the story takes the easy way out at every turn.  While the resulting film is certainly watchable, it's not nearly as fun as the trailer would have us believe. After the events in " The Avengers ," Tony Stark (Downey Jr.) is suffering from PTSD: he's constantly on edge and worrying about the safety of his assistant-turned-girlfriend Pepper Potts (Paltrow).  Considering how seriously Joss W

3/4 Starring: Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett, Clea DuVall, Shawn Hatosy, Laura Harris, Jordana Brewster, Bebe Neuwirth, Jon Stewart, Robert Patrick, Piper Laurie, Famke Janssen Rated R for Violence/Gore, Strong Language, Drug Use and Some Nudity The goal of "The Faculty" is to do for sci-fi movies what " Scream " did to horror flicks, meaning crafting a legitimate entry while poking fun at its conventions.  "The Faculty" shares the same screenwriter, Kevin Williamson, but lightning doesn't strike twice.  The script isn't as knowing or witty, and Robert Rodriguez isn't as clever or, in this case, as skilled as Wes Craven. That all being said, I still enjoyed the movie.  It does have its moments, and the acting is strong.  It's not a classic, nor is it even groundbreaking, but it is fun.  Where else can you find respected actors like Bebe Neuwirth and Famke Janssen in a teenage horror movie? Strange things are going on at Harrington Hig

3/4 Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Logan Marshall-Green, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba Rated R for Sci-Fi Violence including Some Intense Images and Brief Language I've seen "Prometheus" three times, including once in the theaters.  I neglected to write a review as soon as I saw it because I couldn't wrap my mind around not liking a movie that I anticipated so much and was so excited about.  In all honesty, I'm glad I waited. "Prometheus" takes place in the "Alien" universe, but isn't a direct prequel.  The xenomorph is largely absent, although the connections to the quadrilogy that started in 1979 are strong.  This film is heavily linked to the "Alien" movies, but it's a stand-alone feature. Drs. Elizabeth Shaw (Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Marshall-Green) have made a startling discovery.  There is a pictogram that has been found in various places around the world from wildly different time p

The fact that I feel like I have to write this column should disturb everyone. Rape is an act of violence.  It is a deeply violating and emotionally traumatic experience for victims of sexual assault.  But shame and fear keep many from reporting it, and talking about it can be almost as bad as the act itself.  But lately many have turned it into a joke. I've lost count of how often I've heard say something to the effect of "[this person] is going to rape you" as an example of dark humor.  Now, as I've said before, anything can be the subject of humor, provided it is handled with care and respect ("Family Guy" is a master at this, and has indeed made jokes about rape and incest, among other unsavory topics).  But jokes about rape have become so widespread and so frequent that they've become another word for sex, when they are anything but. I think we, as a society, have lost sight of what rape actually is.  One only has to watch "Boys Don&#