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Showing posts from September, 2018

Richie Rich

3/4 Starring: Macauley Culkin, Jonathan Hyde, John Larroquette, Edward Hermann, Christine Ebersole, Steph Lineburg, Mariangela Pino, Chelcie Ross, Michael McShane He Rated PG for Mild Violence and Language What would you do if, at age fourteen, you were the richest kid in the world? It's an interesting question, and I suppose everyone would have a different answer.  But by watching "Richie Rich," we can vicariously live that fantasy through the eyes of a kid named Richie Rich. Richie Rich (Culkin) is the richest kid in the world.  His dad, Richard Sr (Hermann) is a business mogul worth $70 billion and is always on hand to give the President advice.  Think the Koch Brothers, Robert Mercer and Jeff Bezos in one man.  Only, instead of your traditional ruthless tycoon a la Gordon Gekko, he's a devoted husband and father.  A devoted philanthropist, he buys a factory called Union Tool with the intention of revitalizing it and giving it back to his workers.  This d

GoldenEye

4/4 Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Izabella Scorupco, Sean Bean, Famke Janssen, Gottfried John, Alan Cumming, Judi Dench Rated PG-13 for A Number of Sequences of Action/Violence, and for Some Sexuality Not only is "GoldenEye" the best Bond movie I've ever seen, it belongs on any list of great action movies.  No, I haven't seen every 007 adventure, but in terms of action, adrenaline and story, it's hard to imagine any topping it. 007 (Brosnan) is at it again.  His mission is to destroy a Soviet army base in the middle or Russia.  This time, he has help from his friend Alec Trevelyan, aka 006 (Bean).  But just as they're about to escape, 006 is caught and executed by a Russian colonel named Ouromov (John). Cut to five years later.  Bond is up to his usual derring-do, but his friend's death weighs heavily on him.  A Russian prototype helicopter has just been stolen.  Hours later, a secret weapon codenamed GoldenEye has just been detonated over Severnaya.

Passengers (2008)

1.5/4 Starring: Anne Hathaway, Patrick Wilson, Andre Braugher, Clea Duvall, David Morse, Dianne Wiest Rated PG-13 for Thematic Elements including Some Scary Images, and Sensuality Not to be confused with the 2016 film starring Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence "Passengers" is a movie so dumb that I guessed the ending before I even ordered it from Netflix.  I'm dead serious.  Basically every movie with this premise has taken this ending.  I thought, surely a movie starring Anne Hathaway couldn't possibly be this dumb, but no.  It is. A plane has crashed on the beach leaving few survivors.  Claire (Hathaway), a crisis counselor, is called in to speak to those that made it.  Most are understandably rattled.  One, a handsome man named Eric (Wilson), is different.  He's charming, jovial, and when he first meets Claire, he shamelessly flirts with her.  Claire is determined to help her patients, but Eric proves to be an especially hard challenge, since she fin

The Predator

1.5/4 Starring: Boyd Holbrook, Olivia Munn, Trevante Rhods, Yvonne Strahovski, Jacob Tremblay Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence, Language Throughout, and Crude Sexual References There's only one good thing about "The Predator," a desperate attempt by a studio to keep an old franchise alive if there every was one.  That is Boyd Holbrook.  The Kentucky native has been on the list of up-and-coming actors since his career debuted a decade ago with his appearance in " Milk ."  I first noticed him a few years back when I saw him in " A Walk Among the Tombstones ," and his performance in the largely forgettable " Logan " showed that he had the presence and talent to make it as a movie star.  I suppose it's a compliment that he sticks out for the right reasons in a big budget would-be franchise starter, but not really.  Aside from Holbrook, this is just a noisy, bloody, incoherent waste of time. Badass sniper Quinn McKenna (Holbrook) mak

The House with a Clock in its Walls

2.5/4 Starring: Owen Vaccaro, Jack Black, Cate Blanchett Rated PG for Thematic Elements including Sorcery, Some Action, Scary Images, Rude Humor and Language "The House with a Clock in its Walls" has more flair than substance.  The special effects are kinda cool (and there are a lot of them), the film has enough energy for two movies, and there are some decent laughs.  What it doesn't have is a strong story.  Oh sure, it has a plot if you look for it, but it's so thin and so fast moving that at times it the whole thing feels like a movie trailer. After the death of his parents, Lewis Barnavelt (Vaccaro) is sent to live with his uncle Jonathan (Black).  It doesn't take long for him to realize that there's a reason behind the bizarre behavior of his uncle and his new neighbor, Florence Zimmerman (Blanchett): they can do magic.  Like real magic.  The lonely Lewis begs Jonathan to teach him, which he does.  But his new home carries a dangerous secret, and

Detroit Rock City

2.5/4 Starring: Edward Furlong, Giuseppe Andrews, James DeBello, Sam Huntington, Lin Shaye Rated R for Strong Language, Drug Use and Sex-Related Humor "Detroit Rock City" is a movie that was probably more fun to make than it is to watch.  It's a small movie made with a lot of energy and heart, and it has a sense of fun.  Of course, I could be wrong.  This could have been a living hell for the cast, the crew and the caterer.  But I don't think so.  It's too silly and too cheery to be made by anyone who didn't positively want to be there and was not having a grand time.  The movie is a little too thin for me to be able to recommend out right, but far be it for me to try and stop anyone from seeing it. The year is 1978.  The world is in turmoil, American culture is shifting radically, and heavy metal band KISS has carved its own niche.  Hawk (Furlong), Trip (DeBello), Jam (Huntington) and Lex (Andrews) are die-hard KISS fans, and are beyond excited that,

Ocean Waves

2.5/4 Starring (voices): Nobuo Tobita, Yoko Sakamoto, Toshihiko Seki Rated PG-13 for Some Thematic Material Hollywood believes that animation should be reserved for musicals and cute, cuddly animals.  The Japanese know better.  There is nothing in "Ocean Waves" that couldn't be filmed with live actors and sets and no CGI.  But animating it gives it life and energy that live action cannot.  Mood, setting and character can be played with by animators to get different effects.  So while "Ocean Waves" did not need to be animated to work, it wouldn't have been the same movie.  Unfortunately for the movie itself, the animation is really all that it has going for it. Taku (Tobita) and Yutaka (Seki) are best friends.  That is, until a girl comes between them.  Her name is Rikako (Sakamoto), an intelligent and athletic girl from Tokyo, whose big city ways impress, then offend, the country folk of Kochi.  She's a loaded pistol who is the object of Yutaka&#

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

2/4 Starring (voices): Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joseph Fiennes Rated PG for Adventure Action, Some Mild Sensuality and Brief Language If "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas" had any less substance, it wouldn't exist.  With cliched characters and a plot that is less complicated than its premise, this would-be swashbuckler is a misfire no matter how you slice it. Sinbad (Pitt) is a fun-loving pirate who intends to steal the Book of Peace as one last score before he and his crew retire to Fiji.  Of course, that means taking it from the rightful hands of his childhood friend Proteus (Fiennes).  Just then, they are attacked by a wicked monster and Sinbad is pulled overboard.  He is "saved" by Eris, the Goddess of Discord (Pfeiffer), who offers him a deal: steal the Book of Peace for her, and she will give him anything he wants.  Sinbad accepts, but reneges on the deal.  Eris then impersonates Sinbad and steals the book for herself.  C

The Happytime Murders

1.5/4 Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, Joel McHale, Elizabeth Banks, and the voice of Bill Barretta Rated R for Strong Crude and Sexual Content and Language Throughout, and Some Drug Material I'm getting really tired of movies that are largely improvised.  Improv doesn't lend itself well to plot and narrative structure, and while the jokes might be hilarious to the cast and crew on the movie set, it rarely translates to the audience.  It's the "you had to have been there" thing.  Only the "thing" doesn't end. "The Happytime Murders" is a raunchy look at the Muppets. No doubt due to legal reasons, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and the rest of Jim Henson's gang don't appear, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...well, you know the rest. A blue Muppet named Phil (Barretta) was once a respected member of the police force.  He and his human partner Connie Edwards (McCarthy) were unstoppable.  Then a hostag

Mile 22

2/4 Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Iko Uwais, Lauren Cohen, John Malkovich, Ronda Rousey Rated R for Strong Violence and Language Throughout "Mile 22" is an action-packed adrenaline cocktail that shoots itself in the foot with its tone.  This is a dark, depressing and brutal film, and while that's fine, "Mile 22" is far too absurd and too badly made for this to pay off.  This movie simply isn't very fun. The premise is simple.  A last resort team of special operatives led by the volcanic James Silva (Wahlberg) is tasked with transporting a double agent named Li Noor (Uwais) to a plane 22 miles away.  A large amount of radioactive cesium has gone missing, and Li knows where it is.  He's willing to give it up if they grant him safe passage and asylum to the US.  There are a few complications.  First, everyone wants Li Noor dead (duh).  Second, the information with the location of the cesium is hidden behind a computer program that is counting down to del

The Nun

3.5/4 Starring: Demian Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, Bonnie Aarons Rated R for Terror, Violence, and Disturbing/Bloody Images Fun fact about me: religious-oriented horror scares the crap out of me (save for "The Exorcist," which has not aged well).  I remember reading a local Chicago legend about a group of ghost monks that scared the crap out of me (that was not a fun night, as I recall).  And despite not having seen it since its release, Valek the demon nun from " The Conjuring 2 " haunts my nightmares.  So when they announced the inevitable spin-off of that character, I greeted it with excitement and apprehension. "The Nun" is an example of true horror.  There is a palpable sense of dread and terror that permeates through virtually every frame of this movie.  The jump scenes are not just someone being surprised at a person standing behind them.  They are legitimate, violent shocks.  "The Nun" relies more on atmosphere and care

searching

3/4 Starring: John Cho, Debra Messing, Joseph Lee, Michelle La Rated PG-13 for Thematic Elements, Some Drug and Sexual References, and for Language "searching" is a rare breed in movies these days: a mystery.  Hollywood has become so obsessed with superheroes, special effects, and the need to be bigger than the last entry that any movie that can be made for less than $100 million isn't worth anyone's time.  That's a broad characterization, but my point is that a mystery like "searching" doesn't come around very often.  And when they're made well, it's appreciated.  It's not flawless, but when compared to last year's stinker "The Snowman," there's no contest. David Kim (Cho) is a widowed dad who is close to his daughter Margot (La).  But when she leaves a study group one night and doesn't come home, he grows worried.  Soon he realizes that his daughter isn't just truant but is in fact a missing person.  To