Mike's Movie Tips

Every year has its stinkers...movies you wish you could un-see.  Since that's not possible, I can allow myself (and those unfortunate to have seen these monstrosities) a little chance for revenge,  And one last warning to those who are considering watching these movies.  Be forewarned, these are the worst of the worst of the year. 10.   Wish I Was Here .  Not only is this a bad movie, it's not even a complete movie.  It's more of a trailer than a complete film, and while I love movie trailers, there's a reason why they are only a few minutes long.  Either Zac Braff got completely lost after making the wonderful "Garden State," or his editor should never be allowed to cut a film again. 9.   The Drop .  I hate it when directors let their egos control the movie.  Art is only art when it's actually good.  Here, director Michael R. Rocksam is convinced that his film is "groundbreaking" and artistic when really it's just a mess. ...

3.5/4 Starring: Tom Hardy, and the voices of Olivia Colman, Ruth Wilson, Andrew Scott, Ben Daniels, Tom Holland, Bill Milner Rated R for Language Throughout I watched this film to see if it would end up on my Top 10 list for the year, only to realize that it came out last year.  So much for that idea... Not that I didn't want to see it.  I'm a big fan of Tom Hardy, and I heard the film was great.  Surprising, considering that it's just Hardy in his car talking to people for 90 minutes.  But the key to the movie's success lies not in the premise, but in the execution. "Locke" isn't a thriller, at least not in the usual sense.  But because I want to keep the film's revelations a secret, I will tread lightly. Ivan Locke (Hardy) gets into his car for a long car ride.  He has a number of important calls to make, and by the look on his face, he's not excited to make any of them.  But they all result from one decision he made a long time ago, ...

2/4 Starring: James Corden, Emily Blunt, David Huttlestone, Lilla Crawford, Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Mackenzie Mauzy, Billy Magnussen, Johnny Depp Rated PG for Thematic Elements, Fantasy Action and Peril, and Some Suggestive Material If you haven't noticed, I quote/reference James Berardinelli a lot.  This is because I like him a lot as a critic.  I have a voracious appetite for his work and check his website daily to see if he has written anything new.  Not only is he a good writer, he's very knowledgeable about film and knows what he's talking about. In his review of the film version of "RENT," he said, in a nutshell, that it's usually not a good idea to directly lift a stage musical and put it on the screen.  There is an intimacy between the stage actors and the audience which can't be replicated on screen, thus a replacement must be found.  I liked the movie "RENT," although it may be because I saw it before I saw it o...

1/4 Starring: Ted Levine, Kathleen Quinlan, Dan Byrd, Vinessa Shaw, Aaron Stanford, Emilie de Ravin The version being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Gruesome Violence and Terror Throughout, and for Language I don't ask a lot from a horror movie.  I really don't.  An engaging story (originality is preferred, but not required), a character or two worth caring about, and a creepy sense of atmosphere is all I ask for.  Sadly, director Alexadre Aja can't even manage that.  Apart from a few legitimate shocks, this movie is a total waste of time. I haven't seen the original 1977 thriller directed by Wes Craven, but according to James Berardinelli, this one is better.  He wrote: "The story has been tightened up, the acting is better, and the blood-and-gore effects aren't as hokey."  Considering how bad this movie is, I should be thankful that I haven't seen the original.  I thought this might be a su...

1.5/4 Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Felicity Jones, David Thewlis, Charlie Cox, Harry Lloyd, Simon McBurney, Maxine Peake Rated PG-13 for Some Thematic Elements and Suggestive Material It's hard to imagine a movie about Stephen Hawking, one of the most important figures in the science world, could be so dull and lifeless.  But just because they are famous and influential doesn't mean that their life story could lend itself well to a cinematic adaptation, and I have my suspicions that Hawking's story is one of them.  Apart from his life-altering disease, not much out of the ordinary happens to him, and "ordinary" is (usually) a recipe for boredom. Stephen Hawking (Redmayne) is a brilliant young graduate student at the University of Cambridge.  He impresses everyone, especially his mentor, Dennis Sciama (Thewlis), with his revolutionary ideas.  Socially, he's awkward and physically gawky and clumsy.  But he engages in a successful courtship with Jane Wilde (...

2/4 Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Randall Park, Lizzy Caplan, Diana Bang Rated R for Pervasive Language, Crude and Sexual Humor, Nudity, Some Drug Use and Bloody Violence No one can stop talking about "The Interview" because of the whole controversy behind it.  Sony was hacked by North Korea, who then threatened retribution if they released the film.  The company then pulled the film from release, which resulted in an outcry from George Clooney to President Obama.  Now seeing "The Interview" has become an act of defiance against tyranny and a celebration of the First Amendment.  That would be all well and good if the film was actually worth seeing. I was not looking forward to seeing this movie.  Seth Rogen used to be one of the funniest men in Hollywood, but his ego led to some potentially funny films ending up as travesties.  His thirty-year-old-manchild schtick has grown stale and his bromantic relationships teeter on the edge of being offe...

3/4 Starring: Martin Freeman, Richard Armitrage, Ian McKellan, Lee Pace, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly Rated PG-13 for Extended Sequences of Intense Fantasy Action Violence, and Frightening Images " The Lord of the Rings " is a landmark film (and yes, I consider them to be one film divided into three parts by necessity...they were written and filmed as one giant project).  Easily worthy of any list of all time great films next to " Casablanca ," "Psycho," and " Spirited Away ."  Naturally, New Line Cinema was hoping for lightning to strike twice with the prequel, titled "The Hobbit," but due to tangled rights and lawsuits, it took nearly a decade for the first installment to come out.  Expectations were high, but they haven't been met.  The story just isn't as interesting and dividing a single novel into three movies reeks of studio greed and results in bloated movies.  The first two movies were decent, but n...

3.5/4 Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightly, Matthew Goode, Rory Kinnear, Mark Strong, Charles Dance, Allen Leech Rated PG-13 for Some Sexual References, Mature Thematic Material and Historical Smoking There are so many movies and books about the battles of World War II that it's easy to forget that there were things happening behind the scenes.  There are plenty of movies like " Saving Private Ryan ," "The Longest Day," and "The Thin Red Line" and few like " Black Book ," " Atonement " and " Casablanca ."  That's a shame, because done right, they can be just as riveting. "The Imitation Game" is not the first film do deal with the Enigma machine, a code-breaker that turned the tide of the war against Nazi Germany.  It was the driving force of the " U-571 "'s plot (although it was almost a macguffin in that film) and the creatively titled "Enigma," a 2001 thriller starr...

2/4 Starring: Chris Rock, Rosario Dawson, Gabrielle Union, JB Smoove Rated R for Strong Sexual Content, Nudity, Crude Humor, Language Throughout and Some Drug Use "Top Five" wants to make us laugh and touch the heart.  It's a difficult line to balance, and while there are some moments of each to be found in this film, it's really not that funny, insightful or touching. "Top Five" takes us into a day in the life of megastar Andre Allen (Rock).  Andre is a former stand-up comic turned actor, famous for playing a crime-fighter dressed in a bear costume.  He's getting married to Erica Long (Union), a reality TV star, in two days.  And he's trying to get people interested in a new dramatic film about a slave uprising that he made, but it's a tough sell: people only want to see him be the funny bear.  He's being interviewed by Chelsea Brown (Dawson), who is trying to wear down his defenses and get a real story.  Guess what happens? Chris ...

A few days ago, my friend asked me what I thought of the whole controversy about "The Interview."  To be quite frank, I don't really care.  I would if I was excited to see the movie, but after seeing " Neighbors " and " This is the End ," Seth Rogen's name on a marquee means I should probably stay away.  Once a rising comic star, his ego has swollen to such a huge degree that he believes that standing around and shooting his mouth off or screwing around with his friends is enough to be paid millions to do. Sony was criticized by just about everyone for pulling the film after North Korea threatened retaliation if it was shown.  That and the cyber attacks showed Sony that they are willing to make good on their word.  However, North Korea is more bluster than anything (past history backs this claim up). But here's the point that James Berardinelli made, and I think that it makes Sony's position clear: Berardinelli said that while he would ...

2/4 Starring: Channing Tatum, Steve Carrell, Mark Ruffalo, Vanessa Redgrave, Sienna Miller Rated R for Some Drug Use and Brief Violence "Foxcatcher" is based on a true story, but even after seeing the movie, I wouldn't be able to tell you what happened or why.  That's because the film is 10% substance and 90% subtext.  Little of what happens is very clear, and the majority of the time the characters talk, their dialogue is just dances around what they mean to say. Mark Schultz (Tatum) has already won an Olympic gold medal for wrestling, and is training for a second.  His brother Dave (Ruffalo), also an Olympic wrestler with a gold medal to his name, trains him.  One day, Mark gets a call from someone speaking on behalf of Jon du Pont (Carrell), who wants him to lead a team of wrestlers to victory at the next Olympics.  Jon wants both Mark and Dave to move to his estate and coach the team, but Dave is unwilling to uproot his family.  Mark sees this a...

3.5/4 Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Carla Gugino, Maggie Grace, Matt Gerald Rated R for Strong Violence, Some Drug Use and Language I love mysteries where the motivations are hidden from us.  Too often, movies are so eager to explain why people do what they do when they're often more interesting when the movie makes us wonder.  A film that asks "why" is usually going to be better than one that asks "what." A man (Johnson) is just being released from a 10 year prison sentence.  No one knows his name, but everyone seems to know his face.  The day after he walks out of the prison gates, he goes into a telemarketing office and puts a bullet in a man's head.  He then vanishes without a trace.  A drug-addicted cop approaching retirement (Thornton) is on his trail, as is a contract killer (Jackson-Cohen) hired by an unknown employer. Saying more would spoil the movie, but this isn't your garden variety thriller. ...

1/4 Starring: Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Ian Holm, Chris Tucker Rated PG-13 for Intense Sci-Fi Violence, Some Sexuality and Brief Nudity It's obvious that Luc Besson wanted "The Fifth Element" to be " Star Wars " for the 90's.  A rugged hero, a megalomaniacal villain bent on destroying life, space aliens everywhere, and so on.  Unfortunately, instead of a successor to George Lucas's masterful series, Besson has created an epic disaster.  The characters aren't very interesting, the creature effects are herky-jerky and the plot doesn't make a lick of sense. Every 5,000 years, four special stones and something called the Fifth Element have to be activated to keep the forces of evil at bay.  And in the near future, an ex-military guy turned cabbie named Korben Dallas (Willis) gets pulled into this mess, trying to retrieve the stones and protect a girl named Leeloo (Jovovich), who has an important mission. This could have bee...

3.5/4 Starring: Edward Norton, Edward Furlong, Beverly D'Angelo, Avery Brooks, Guy Torrey, Stacey Keach, Ethan Suplee, Fairuza Balk Rated R for Graphic Brutal Violence including Rape, Pervasive Language, Strong Sexuality and Nudity I first saw "American History X" on July 12, 2008 according to my review on iMDb, and all I could say is "Wow."  Upon second viewing, the effect of this film has lessened slightly, although this is a hugely powerful film.  No other film that I've seen has taken such a frank and brutally honest look at racial hatred. Three years ago, Derek Vinyard (Norton) was the poster child for a white supremacist gang in Venice Beach, California.  He is highly intelligent and a fiery orator, which makes him the right hand man of Cameron Alexander (Keach), the group's unofficial leader (he stays in the background to keep his hands clean).  That all changed when he was convicted of manslaughter for killing two black men who w...

2.5/4 Starring: Julia Dietze, Christopher Kirby, Gotz Otto, Stephanie Paul, Peta Sergeant Rated R for Language and Some Violence Although I watched this in a sober state of mind, I strongly suspect that "Iron Sky" will play better to audience members who are drunk, stoned, or otherwise mentally impaired.  It's too silly to be taken seriously. Not that it's meant to.  From frame one I knew that director Timo Vuorensola wanted me to laugh at the film.  The acting is intentionally bad, there isn't a single character with an IQ above 10, and the action scenes are ridiculously cheesy.  The problem is that it's not all that funny. James Washington (Kirby) is a black astronaut taking a stroll on the moon when his fellow spaceman sees something very strange on the dark side of the moon (yes, there is a Pink Floyd reference, although I missed it).  Apparently, the Third Reich established a moon base there, and is preparing to retake the Earth.  How they go...

2/4 Starring: Brendan Sexton III, Isidra Vega, Lynn Cohen, David Roland Frank, Antoine McLean, Mtume Gant, Carlo Alban, Shawn Elliot Rated R for Language, Violence and Drug Use involving Teens Occasionally, the efforts of an actor or actress can save an unremarkable screenplay and pedestrian direction.  There are plenty of instances, although for the life of me I can't think of any examples off the top of my head.  Sadly, "Hurricane Streets" is not one of those instances.  Despite the best efforts of its cast, specifically the lead actor, there are better ways to spend 90 minutes of your time. Marcus (Sexton III) is a young toughie living on the streets of New York City.  With his father dead and his mother in jail, he's essentially on his own.  He and his friends use petty crime (i.e. shoplifting and selling the loot) to get by, but he dreams of living with relatives on a ranch in New Mexico.  Then he meets Melena (Vega), a girl who also dreams of ...

3.5/4 Starring: Eric Stolz, Cher, Sam Elliott, Lawrence Monson, Dennis Burkley, Laura Dern Not Rated (for the record the theatrical cut is rated R, albeit undeservedly, probably for Language, Drug Use and Sexual Content) "Mask," not to be confused with the Jim Carrey vehicle, "The Mask," is one of those rare movies that you wish would never end.  It's so well-acted, the characters are so likable and so interesting that I wish it would go on and on and on. "Mask" is loosely based on the life story of Rocky Dennis, who had craniodiaphyseal dysplasia.  In English, it's an extremely rare bone disorder that causes calcium to build up in the skull.  He lives in Azusa, California with his mother Rusty (Cher).  Rusty is a tough-talking, no-nonsense sort of woman who is in a biker gang and abuses just about every drug she can find.  But she loves her son deeply. Director Peter Bogdanovich concentrates less on what happens to Rocky and Rusty and mo...

2/4 Starring: Rudy Youngblood, Dalia Hernandez, Raul Trujillo, Rodolfo Palacios, Morris Birdyellowhead Rated R for Sequences of Graphic Violence and Disturbing Images Note: I discuss the ending, and its resulting controversy, in detail.  Those who haven't seen the film and want to should bail out now and come back later. The first time I saw "Apocalypto," I hated it.  But like with a few other movies, such as " Hollow Man " and " The Jackal ," curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to give it another shot.  My views have softened, although not by much.  "Apocalypto" is too violent for its own good. Jaguar Paw (Youngblood) is a young man living in a small village.  He has a wife named Seven (Hernandez), who has given birth to one child and is pregnant with another.  One day his peaceful village is attacked, and those who are still alive are captured and taken to a Mayan city.  The women are sold as slaves, but the men are to b...

2.5/4 Starring: Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Stuart Wilson, Matt Letscher Rated PG-13 for Some Intense Action and Violence I got the sense that "The Mask of Zorro" should be a lot more fun than it is.  The performances are solid, the action scenes are sufficiently exciting, and the film rarely slows down.  And yet, I didn't really enjoy myself all that much.  Certainly nowhere near as much as I did when I re-watched "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" a few days ago, which is another movie inspired by serials. The character of Zorro, like many long-standing heroes, started out in pulp magazines.  His first appearance was in 1919 and was written by Johnston McCulley.  By day, he's a cultured nobleman by the name of Don Diego de la Vega, but by night he's the adventure hero in black.  If that sounds familiar, it's because Zorro was a major inspiration for Bob Kane, the creator of Batman (in an interesting turn of...

3/4 Starring: Roberto Benigni, Giorgio Cantarini, Nicoletta Braschi, Horst Buchholtz Rated PG-13 for Holocaust-Related Thematic Elements It is impossible to ask us to have a good feeling when watching a movie about the Holocuast, and Roberto Benigni wisely doesn't ask us to.  Comedy is a tool, not the focus, of this film.  The heart of the film is the bond between a father and son, and the fight to save those we love amid terrible horror. "Life is Beautiful" is divided into two acts: first is a light romance between a goofy man named Guido (Benigni) and a pretty girl named Dora (Braschi, Benigni's real-life wife).  She's a teacher who is engaged to a politico while he is a waiter, but for Guido, it's love at first sight.  The second act takes place after they are married and have a child named Joshua (Cantarini).  World War II has broken out, and both Guido and Joshua have been sent to a concentration camp (Dora goes voluntarily in a desperate attempt ...