Mike's Movie Tips

1.5/4 Starring: Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, Chloe Grace Moretz, David Harbour, Melissa Leo, Bill Pullman Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence and Language Throughout, including Some Sexual References While it is probably impossible for Denzel Washington to give a bad performance (he's too talented and too devoted to the job to do so), he has, on occasion, coasted through roles on his charisma alone.  " Virtuosity ," "Fallen," " Flight ," " Safe House ..." there aren't many, but Washington has done it.  That's what he's doing here.  Fortunately, he's still an engaging presence on the screen.  Unfortunately, even if he was trying, he wouldn't be able to save this movie. Robert McCall (Washington) leads a simple life.  He works at a hardware store and in his free time, helps one of his co-workers Ralphie (Johnny Skourtis) lose weight so he can become a security guard.  He doesn't sleep a lot, so he spends his ...

1/4 Starring: Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Sarah Bolger, Evan Peters, Donald Glover Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Horror Violence, Terror and Some Sexual References How bad is this movie?  In addition to having the usual problems of bad horror movies (bad acting and characterization, bad pacing, an incoherent plot and supposedly smart characters doing stupid things), it's so badly made that it took until the climax that I realized the set-up was over. "The Lazarus Project" is like " Splice " and " Hollow Man ."  It's a movie where a group of brilliant (at least that's what we're told, but evidence clearly suggests otherwise) scientists push the boundaries of science and pay the price.  Both of the earlier movies had their problems, but they were entertaining.  Not so with "The Lazarus Project," which is just stupid. Frank (Duplass) and Zoe (Wilde) are two scientists trying to find a way to keep people alive for lon...

3/4 Starring: Julianne Moore, Alec Baldwin, Kristen Stewart, Kate Bosworth, Hunter Parrish, Stephen Kunken Rated PG-13 for Mature Thematic Material, and Brief Language including a Sexual Reference It's the little things that signal to Alice that something isn't right.  A slip of the tongue, the inability to recall a random word.  Alone, they're nothing to worry about.  We all have them.  But when the highly respected linguistics professor gets lost on her own campus, she begins to worry. "Still Alice," the film about a woman with early-onset Alzheimer's, has enough problems that I'd be on the fence about recommending it, except for the fact that it has Julianne Moore playing the lead role.  Moore, after three previous nominations, finally got to take home a statue for playing Alice Howland, and she deserves it.  The film as a whole is heavily flawed but shows flashes of brilliance, but it's Moore that holds it together.  In a way, I was reminde...

3.5/4 Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eloise Mumford, Jennifer Ehle, Marcia Gay Harden Rated R for Strong Sexual Content including Dialogue, Some Unusual Behavior and Graphic Nudity, and for Language I was not looking forward to seeing this movie.  The source material is based on " Twilight " fan fiction and the advance word was horrible.  Funny how things work out, isn't it? "Fifty Shades of Grey" has been controversial ever since the book was released, and that hasn't changed with the film.  I'm not sure why except to say "only in America."  The film contains plenty of sex, but certainly nothing to get worked up about.  After all, it's about S&M, isn't it? Anastasia Steele (Johnson) is an English major in Seattle.  Her roommate Kate (Mumford) is sick on the day she is to interview the sexy and mysterious billionaire Christian Grey (Dornan), so she sends Anastasia instead.  Christian is cold and aloof, but somethi...

2/4 Starring: John Leguizamo, Adrien Brody, Mira Sorvino, Jennifer Esposito, Michael Rispoli, Michael Badalucco Rated R for Strong Graphic Violence and Sexuality, Pervasive Strong Language and Drug Use Like many flawed movies, it is easy to see what “Summer of Sam” was trying to do.  It is also easy to see where it failed and why.  What Spike Lee wants “Summer of Sam” to be is a mix of an intense, gritty film filled with claustrophobia and paranoia.  What it actually is, is a rather lifeless movie with no atmosphere about characters we don’t care about. Summer 1977.  Brooklyn is terrorized by a serial killer who shoots people at random.  The police are helpless and residents are terrified.  But that’s just background.  “Summer of Sam” is only tangentially related to the search for the killer.  Instead, it concentrates on the actions of a large group of people in a Brooklyn neighborhood.  Vinny (Leguizamo) is a hairdresser and...

2/4 Starring (voices): Anna Paquin, Alfred Molina, Patrick Stewart, Kari Wahlgren, Oliver Cotton Rated PG-13 for Action Violence I love steampunk movies.  I don’t know what it is, but seeing something like a car or a plane work not by microchips but by steam and gears lights up my imagination.  So you can imagine that I really wanted to like “Steamboy,” but unfortunately, it’s just not very good.  The plot has more holes than Swiss cheese, the characters are boring (and in one case, incredibly irritating), and the movie never wants to end.  At least the action scenes are cool. Ray Steam (Paquin) is living in London with his mother (Kim Thomson) and a few neighborhood children.  His father, Dr. Eddie Steam (Molina) and grandfather, Dr. Lloyd Steam (Stewart), are in Alaska working on a top secret project.  One day a package arrives for Ray: it’s a metal ball sent by Lloyd.  Almost immediately thereafter, he’s running away from men who want...

1/4 Starring: Nick Damici, Kim Blair, Ron Brice, Bo Corre, Tim House, Larry Fleischman, Larry Medich, Javier Picayo Rated R for Creature Violence/Gore and Language “Mulberry St.” is as mainstream as they come…except for the fact that it was made for $60,000 (and looks it too).  The plot is pure formula, characters do some amazingly stupid things, and there are gobs of gore.  That doesn’t mean that it’s good, however.  “Mulberry St.” is a snoozefest, with nary a character worth caring about and a director who loves to shake the camera and get artsy, It’s a hot day in New York City.  The tenants of one apartment building have just found out that their home is going to be torn down to make way for a new skyscraper.  They’re your average bunch with average concerns.  Clutch (Damici) is an ex-boxer awaiting the return of his daughter Casey (Brice) from her tour overseas.  Coco (Blair) is his gay neighbor/roommate/lover/something (the movie ...

3/4 Starring: Cindy Sampson, Aaron Ashmore, Meghan Heffern, Trevor Matthews Not Rated (probable R for Strong Violence and Gore, and Language) Isn’t it awesome when a movie you had low expectations for turns out to be good?  To be quite honest, I wasn’t expecting much from “The Shrine.”  A direct-to-DVD horror flick with a no-name cast that was too cheap to be sent by the MPAA (not that that means much) isn’t a ringing endorsement.  In fact, it’s usually a sign that says “Stay Away!”  Imagine my surprise when I found out that not only is it not a waste of time, it’s actually good . Carmen (Sampson) is a workaholic journalist who is in hot water with her boyfriend Marcus (Ashmore) and her boss (Philip Craig).  Marcus thinks she works too much, and her previous story apparently got her into hot water.  She has a hunch that a number of disappearances in Europe are connected, but her boss doesn’t want to hear it (he assigns her a story about a d...

3/4 Starring: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, Tuppence Middleton, Nikki Amuka-Bird Rated PG-13 for Some Violence, Sequences of Sci-Fi Action, Some Suggestive Content and Partial Nudity In 1999, The Wachowskis released a sci-fi action extravaganza called “ The Matrix .”  Not only did it include kinetic and ground-breaking fight scenes, it dealt with thought provoking material revolving around technology and our reality.  It was a complete sleeper hit, surprising just about everyone with its reception.  Two sequels followed, but neither one matched the quality of the first.  Their next film, a mega-budget version of the Japanese anime series “ Speed Racer ” bombed at the box office (although I loved it).  After that, they teamed up with German action wonderboy Tom Tykwer (he directed the cult classic “Run Lola Run,” which was a lot of fun, but he also directed “The International,” which was anything but) to make “...

Sorry, folks.  I've been a little busy, thus I haven't been able to do my Oscar predictions until now...three hours before the event.  Usually I bemoan the fact that I don't get paid for being a film critic, but this is one instance where I'm glad I'm doing this for the love of the game. When I first did this, I said something about each nominee.  I'm not going to do that this year.  It takes too long and causes the article to drag.  I will say who I think will win and why, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to write a lot about Steve Carrel's nomination for Best Actor. So here they are: Best Picture Nominees: " American Sniper " "Birdman" " Boyhood " " The Imitation Game " "The Grand Budapest Hotel" " Selma " " The Theory of Everything " "Whiplash" There are 8 nominees this year, but like most years, it's come down to two films: Richard Linklater...

2.5/4 Starring: Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Strong, Sofia Boutella, Michael Caine Rated R for Sequences of Strong Violence, Language and Some Sexual Content Just because you assemble the same crew doesn't mean that lightning will strike twice.  Just look at " National Treasure " versus "National Treasure: Book of Secrets."  The cast, premise, writer, director and producer stayed the same, but the quality didn't.  The first film was a lot of fun, while the second felt like a wannabe. Granted, "Kingsmen: The Secret Service" is a different genre than " Kick-Ass " (thus having different casts and stories) but they are both based on comic books by Mark Millar, are co-written by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn, and are directed by Vaughn.  Both have similar goals: to both embrace and parody their respective genres.  "Kick-Ass" was wicked, if warped, fun.  "Kingsmen" doesn't make the cut. ...

2/4 Starring: Elizabeth Berkley, Gina Gershon, Kyle MacLachlan, Gina Ravera, Alan Rachins, Robert Davi Rated NC-17 for Nudity and Erotic Sexuality Throughout, and for Some Graphic Language and Sexual Violence Leave Your Inhibitions At The Door That tagline (also occasionally followed by "The Show is About to Begin"), paired with a nude woman on a black background whose naughty bits are covered, represents the poster for "Showgirls," the first movie widely released with the NC-17 "adults only" rating.  Sadly, for lovers of movies not altered by demands from the MPAA (although I have to admit that an NC-17 is at least defensible due to a graphic rape scene), the film bombed (but it did great on video), letting the film remain burdened with the nickname "kiss of death." The film is a mix of "All About Eve" (an overrated film if you ask me) and "42nd Street."  Spice it up with copious amounts of nudity and sleaze, you ge...

3/4 Starring: Nicolas Cage, Tye Sheridan, Gary Poulter, Ronnie Gene Blevins, Adriene Mishler, A.J. Wilson McPhaul Rated R for Violence, Disturbing Material, Language and Some Strong Sexual Content Nicolas Cage has been a popular whipping boy for a while now, and I'm not sure why.  To hate him has become the "in" thing to do.  Whenever I ask someone why they hate him, I can't get a good answer.  It's all "Nicolas Cage sucks" or something. I'm not sure where all the hate is coming from.  Sure, he appears to never turn down a role these days, but he had most of his money invested in the housing market prior to the bust in 2008.  But I have yet to see him in a bad performance, and some of his work (" The Rock ," "Leaving Las Vegas" " Face/Off ") has been superb.  Granted those were in the mid-90's, but "Joe" was released 2 years ago, and you know what?  He's still got it. Joe (Cage) is an ex-con w...

2/4 Starring: Jessica Biel, R. Lee Ermey, Eric Balfour, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, David Dorfman Rated R for Strong Horror Violence/Gore, Language and Drug Content The good news about "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake is that it's better than the original .  The bad news is that, considering how horrid the original was (I nearly fell asleep watching it), that's not saying much. The original film was not a good movie, and for reasons I cannot understand, is considered to be a horror classic (it spawned three sequels, a remake and a sequel of the remake, and a reboot with prequel to follow...god, will this remake obsession ever end?).  Enter Michael Bay, who has long since prostituted his considerable talents for pure greed, who produced this remake.  For its director, he chose Marcus Nispel, another music video director (albeit one with little talent, as he went on to direct the " Pathfinder " remake, the "Friday the 13th...

1.5/4 Starring: Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes, Julianne Moore, Alicia Vikander, Olivia Williams Rated PG-13 for Intense Fantasy Violence and Action Throughout, Frightening Images and Brief Strong Language There are two reasons a person who is not a film critic would be caught in a screening of "Seventh Son:" they're a cinephile mistakenly thinking they're going to a screening of Ingmar Bergman's "The Seventh Seal" (the one where Max von Sydow plays chess with Death) or they're a teenage boy desperate for more fantasy action (who has watched "The Lord of the Rings" to death).  Neither is going to get their fix with "Seventh Son:" the cinephile will have a heart attack over seeing what film has become, and the teenager will be bored out of his mind. If anyone is wondering why no one goes to the movies anymore, one need not look any further than "Seventh Son," yet another would-be fantasy franchise.  It's so chock fu...

3/4 Starring: Kevin Costner, Octavia Spencer, Jillian Estell, Bill Burr, Mpho Koaho, Anthony Mackie, Andre Holland Rated PG-13 for Brief Strong Language, Thematic Material involving Drug Use and Drinking, and for a Fight The biggest strength of "Black or White," the new film from Mike Binder, is that it doesn't take sides.  The story centers on a custody battle over a mixed-race child, but Binder presents it with sympathy from both sides.  No one is truly good or bad, and neither resorts to dirty tricks or dick moves to win.  In fact, they're less aggressive than their legal teams. Elliot Anderson (Costner) is raising his granddaughter Eloise (Estell) with his wife Carol (Jennifer Ehle).  His daughter died during childbirth and Eloise's father is a drug-addict who is out of the picture.  But Carol is killed in a car accident, and Eloise's other grandmother, Rowena Jeffers (Spencer) thinks that the girl would be better off living with her.  Elliot di...

1.5/4 Starring: Billy Crudup, Clive Owen, Zoe Saldana, Marion Cotillard, Mila Kunis, Matthias Schoenaerts, Noah Emmerich, Domenick Lombardozzi, James Caan Rated R for Violence, Pervasive Language, Some Sexual Content and Brief Drug Use If there was any movie that was tailor-made to be directed by Martin Scorcese, this is it.  "Blood Ties," with its themes of family. twisted loyalties, crime and violence (not to mention guilt), demanded the Scorcese touch.  Alas, we have French actor/director Guillaume Canet, who is completely in over his head. The film takes place in the 1970's.  Chris (Owen) has just gotten out of prison.  His brother Frank (Crudup), ironically, is a cop.  Their father Leon (Caan) is dying of cancer and their sister Marie cares for him. The brothers' love lives are also important.  Chris's ex, Monica (Cotillard) is a drug addict and a prostitute, and he finds a connection with the secretary at his new job, a lovely girl named Nat...