Mike's Movie Tips

3/4 Starring: Ewan McGregor, Naomie Harris, Stellan Skarsgaard, Damian Lewis, Khalid Abdalla, Jeremy Northam Rated R for Violence, Language Throughout, Some Sexuality, Nudity and Brief Drug Use I'm not married, but I imagine there are far better ways to spice up a stale relationship than espionage between the British government and Russian gangsters.  Not to mention safer.  I mean, isn't that what propelled " 50 Shades of Grey " to the bestseller list?  Never mind.  It doesn't really matter because neither of the two protagonists had any interests in being the middle man between MI-6 and the Russian mafia.  Like in virtually every Hitchcock movie, it just happened. Things are not going well between Perry (McGregor) and Gail (Harris).  They are in a committed relationship, but the passion between them is icy.  In an attempt to salvage what they have, they took a vacation to Marrakesh.  So far it's not working; at best, they talk to eac...

2/4 Starring: Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans, Kevin Kline, Emma Thompson, Ian McKellan, Ewan McGregor Rated PG for Some Action Violence, Peril and Frightening Images Ordinarily I'd ask why, but it has long since become clear that Hollywood has stopped taking any sort of pride in its work.  Instead, they pour excessive amounts of money into brand names and make money overseas.  Still, would it have been too much to ask to not revamp something that's already become definitive? From Disney's perspective, it makes sense.  They own the rights to the story, the songs and the characters, the original " Beauty and the Beast " was a hit with audiences and critics, and was the first animated film to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars (an award it should have won, by the way).  Live-action adaptations of Disney animated classics are big successes nowadays.  Add in one of the most popular starlets out there and you've got a recipe for a sure fire...

3/4 Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Kevin McNally, Stellan Skarsgaard, Tom Hollander, Jonathan Pryce, Bill Nighy Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Adventure Violence, including Frightening Images Like all movies that make a buck at the box office, " Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl " got a sequel.  Two, actually.  Released a year apart, this and "At World's End" continued the adventures of lovebirds Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, and everyone's favorite pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow. It's raining on the day when Will (Bloom) and Elizabeth (Knightly) are to be married.  Worse still, he stood her up at the altar.  But not all is as it seems.  Will didn't get cold feet, he has been arrested by Lord Cutler Beckett (Hollander), who has seized control over Port Royal.  He has sentenced Will and Elizabeth to the gallows for helping Jack escape execution.  In exchange for their lives, Beckett wants W...

3/4 Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ryan Reynolds, Olga Dihovichnaya, Arlyon Bakare Rated R for Language Throughout, and Some Sci-Fi Violence and Terror Not to be confused with the 1999 dramedy with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence In some ways, the new horror/thriller "Life" is some kind of miracle.  It's not a sequel/remake/reboot/whatever, no one has any superpowers (therefore sparing us from another Stan Lee cameo), and it's not based on a book or TV show.  The only thing the director and actors had to go on was the screenplay by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick.  That adds an element of freshness to it, since it's not bound by crossing every t and dotting every i from the source material and is free from fan mania.  That it's actually good only makes it all the sweeter. "Life" is a good, but not great, sci-fi horror film.  It's too long and lacks the sheer terror of its closest cousin (and probable in...

2.5/4 Starring: James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgard, James Woods, Rhys Coiro, Billy Lush, Drew Powell, Dominic Purcell, Willa Holland Rated R for Strong Brutal Violence including a Sexual Attack, Menace, Some Sexual Content and Pervasive Language "Straw Dogs," the remake of the 1971 classic directed by Sam Peckinpah and starring Dustin Hoffman (unseen by me), seeks to be two very different movies at the same time.  It wants to be an adrenaline pumping psychological thriller with lots of bloody carnage but at the same time it wants the audience to consider the consequences of such actions.  Considering how these things are diametrically opposed, it would have taken a truly visionary director to marry them.  If it can be done at all.  I give director Rod Lurie kudos for the attempt, but it just doesn't work. David Sumner (Marsden) is a Hollywood screenwriter who has moved to small-town Mississippi, where his actress wife Amy (Bosworth) grew up, in...

3.5/4 Starring (voices): Ming-Na Wen, Eddie Murphy, BD Wong, Miguel Ferrer, James Hong, Harvey Fierstein, Jerry Tondo, Gedde Watanabe, Soon-Tek Oh, Pat Morita, June Foray Rated G During the 90's, there was no one more reliable for family entertainment than Disney.  Well, sort of.  Their live action movies were horrible, but their animated movies were amazing.  The list is impressive: " Beauty and the Beast ," " Aladdin ," " The Lion King ," " Hercules ," "Tarzan."  They had a misfire or two (like "Pocahantas" and "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"), but even those weren't horrible.  They knew better than anyone that in order to be a success, you had to put story and character development over visuals and marketing.  While not as well-remembered as the first two movies I listed, "Mulan" is just as good. Mulan (Wen) is a young girl who just wants to do right by her family.  However, she's more ...

0.5/4 Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Dakota Fanning, Peter Sarsgaard Rated R for Some Language and Nudity I knew that as soon as I picked this movie from my collection that I was going to either love it or hate it.  Slow-burn, understated thrillers are incredibly difficult to get right.  And for the Sundance crowd (no one else could possibly be the film's target audience), ego-trips on the part of the director are hailed as "style" or "quirkiness."  No guesses as to what my verdict actually is. This movie sucks.  It's dull, it's pointless, it's devoid of any interesting characters or plot developments.  There's precious little suspense and even less good drama.  This is just an excuse for writer/director Kelly Reichardt to show her (presumably) equally self-absorbed, contrarian friends how "avant-garde" and "not Hollywood" she is.  Those may be true, but based on the evidence, she's a lousy filmmaker. Josh (Eisenberg...

2.5/4 Starring: John Gallagher Jr., Tony Goldwyn, Adria Arjona, John C. McGinley, Melonie Diaz, Owain Yeoman, Sean Gunn, Michael Rooker, Rusty Schwimmer, Gregg Henry Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence Throughout, Language including Sexual References, and Some Drug Use I have no problem with dumb action movies (" Hardcore Henry " is a good example).  Nor do I have a problem with films that deal with weighty material at the expense of plot (witness my admiration of Martin Scorcese's box office bomb, " Silence ").  It's always intriguing when a film marries the two types of films, which on the surface seem incompatible.  Then a movie like " The Matrix " comes along and strikes a huge chord and proves that taking a risk is usually preferable to the alternative.  "The Belko Experiment" seeks to join this distressingly small roster of films, but it's not quite successful. Belko Industries is a company whose chief export seems to be ...

4/4 Starring (voices): Dickie Jones, Cliff Edwards, Christian Rub, Evelyn Venable, Walter Catlett Rated G "Pinocchio" is pure Disney magic.  It's whimsical, funny, scary, charming, and yes, magical.  From frame one I knew I was in for a truly special experience.  I was not let down. Gepetto (Rub) is a devoted woodcarver in a small European village.  He lives with his cat Figaro and fish Cleo, but alas he is single and without a child.  He has just completed a marionette of a boy, whom he dubs Pinocchio.  When he sees a shooting star, he makes a wish that Pinocchio would become a real boy.  Because of his good deeds, the Blue Fairy (Venable) grants him his wish.  But as she tells Pinocchio (Jones), there's a catch: for now, he's a walking and talking puppet, but in order to become flesh and blood, he must prove himself.  To help him, she promotes Jiminy Cricket (Edwards), a traveling cricket who has just stopped in to warm himself for ...

Writing a screenplay is hard.  I speak from experience.  Not only do you have to write dialogue that sounds interesting (or at least realistic), you have to develop characters almost entirely through it, tell an interesting story and keep it within about 90 to 120 pages.  If that sounds challenging, it makes you respect the work of Quentin Tarantino or David Mamet more. Naturally, Hollywood, who despises risk, relies on shortcuts to make it easier.  It's not that writing a good script can't be done (" Manchester by the Sea ," " Kalifornia " and " The Man from Elysian F ields" come to mind), it's that Hollywood doesn't want to put in the extra effort to do it.  So they use stock characters and archetypes to earn audience interest.  Instead of, you know, creating actual people. Many of these are the "everyman," which is to say, a stand-in for us.  But to provide color, many lazy or self-indulgent filmmakers will use these tropes...

1/4 Starring: Indira Varma, Sarita Choudhury, Naveen Andrews, Ramon Tikaram, Rekha The version of the film being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Erotic Sequences, Nudity and Some Violence No, I haven't started reviewing dirty movies. For those of you who come to my reviews from the links I post on Facebook (hazarding a guess, that's just about everyone), I'm sorry about the bait-and-switch.  I was trying to be clever.  In my defense, I considering warning people to stay away from this movie a public service.  Yes, it's one of those movies. "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love" takes place in 16th century India.  Maya (Varma) is one of the servants of Tara (Choudhury), who has just become queen to Raj Singh (Andrews).  Tired of being a servant and getting hand-me-downs from Tara, Maya allows herself to be seduced by the philandering king.  Branded a whore, she's thrown out of the palace and ends up homeles...

3.5/4 Starring: Ben Cross, Ian Charleson, Ian Holm, Alice Kirge, Cheryl Campbell, Nicholas Farrell, Nigel Havers Rated PG (probably for Brief Language and Thematic Material) Everyone knows the theme for this movie.  It's as iconic for a sports movie as "Eye of the Tiger" from "Rocky."  Not bad for a composer who can't read music.  Obviously, trying to type out the rhythm wouldn't do you any good if you don't know it, but you will when you hear it.  Thank God for YouTube. Surprisingly, the film isn't dwarfed by its memorable music.  Like the best musical scores, it enhances the material rather than stealing the spotlight.  The characters are sympathetic and well-acted, and the themes of determination, sportsmanship and perseverance are well-conveyed.  In fact, the performances are so strong that they more than make up for some fairly serious problems. "Chariots of Fire" is about a group of young Brits competing in the Olympics ...

1/4 Starring: Charlie Day, Ice Cube, Jillian Bell, Tracy Morgan, Dean Norris, Christina Hendricks, Kumail Nanjiani, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Alexa Nisenson Rated R for Language Throughout, Sexual Content/Nudity, and Drug Material Things to do instead of watching "Fist Fight:" 1. Listen to Keith Olbermann or Rush Limbaugh (whoever you hate more) on full blast for 90 minutes. 2. Watch your neighbor's colonoscopy. 3. Don't bother in the first place. These days, I dread comedies.  It's not that I don't like to laugh, I do, but lately they're all about actors improvising the crudest comments they can think of.  This wouldn't be a problem if it were funny, but as " Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising " (anything with Seth Rogen, really) and the " Ghostbusters " reboot proved, it usually isn't.  Comedies need scripts and actors need directors.  Someone needs to tell that to the movers and shakers in Hollywood. It's the last ...

2/4 Starring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen, Boyd Holbrook, Stephen Merchant, Richard E. Grant Rated R for Strong Brutal Violence and Language Throughout, and for Brief Nudity "Logan" has been making waves in the entertainment world for two reasons: its R-rating and its bleak tone.  It earns a lot of the buzz in both departments, and while I applaud the filmmakers' decision to go for the R-rating and have nothing against a superhero movie with a bleak tone (" The Dark Knight " is unequivocally the best superhero movie ever made), neither means much if the film isn't very good.  And sadly, "Logan" just doesn't live up to the hype. The year is 2029.  Mutants have essentially disappeared from this slightly dystopian world.  Logan (Jackman), the man with unbreakable bones and metal claws who once went by the name of Wolverine, has resigned himself to drinking and caring for an ailing Charles Xavier (Stewart).  Xavier, Logan'...

3/4 Starring: Anna Kendrick, June Squibb, Lisa Kudrow, Craig Robinson, Wyatt Russell, Stephen Merchant, Tony Revolori Rated PG-13 for Thematic Elements, Sexual Content, Drug Use, Language and Some Brief Nudity I went to my brother's wedding last August.  I was in the wedding party, so I didn't get a chance to see the people who were invited by obligation rather than a genuine desire on the part of the bride and groom for them to be there on their special day.  But I know the feeling of being trapped with people you don't know in a place you're not sure you really want to be.  Who hasn't felt like the odd man out? Two months ago, Eloise (Kendrick) has was dumped by her boyfriend, Teddy (Russell).  By text, no less, followed by "Best of luck in your future endeavors."  Since the bride is her oldest friend, she decides to go to the wedding, despite the fact that Teddy will certainly be there (he is the best man).  She was going to be the maid...

3/4 Starring: Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Catherine Keener, Bradley Whitford, Lil Rel Howery, Caleb Landry Jones Rated R for Violence, Bloody Images, and Language including Sexual References "Get Out" is a surprisingly effective little chiller because it targets our own vulnerabilities and uses them against us.  We've all been in many of the same situations that Chris Washington finds himself in.  But never has an awkward conversation seemed so sinister. Chris (Kaluuya) has been dating Rose Armitage (Williams) for four months, and she's bringing him home to meet her parents.  He's nervous because she is white and he is black, a fact that she has neglected to tell them.  That her parents are so liberal that her father Dean (Whitford) is likely to talk his ear off about how he would have voted for Barack Obama a third time if he could does little to ease his anxiety.  Nevertheless, he soldiers on.  When he gets there, everything is cordial,...

2.5/4 Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Colm Feore, Ann Magnuson, Aunjanue Ellis, Tamara Tunie. Anthony Michael Hall Rated R for Language, Some Violence and Sexuality The challenge of turning "The Caveman's Valentine" into a film must have been irresistible for Kasi Lemmons.  Think of the creative and psychological possibilities offered in getting inside the head of a paranoid schizophrenic via the film medium.  While I admire Lemmons's guts, her talents just aren't enough to make this any more than a gimmick. Romulus Ledbetter (Jackson), or "Rom," for short, was once a brilliant pianist at Julliard.  But his mental health deteriorated and now he's living in a cave in a New York City park.  He believes that a man named Cornelius Gould Stuyvesant lives at the top of the Empire State Building and is trying to control him through X, Y, and Z rays.  When a homeless man is found frozen to death in a tree outside his cave, Rom thinks that it's Stuyv...