Twilight: New Moon

1.5/4

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke

Rated PG-13 for Some Violence and Action

I haven't read Stephanie Meyer's popular book franchise.  Based on the evidence, it's entirely possible that within the pages of her books there is a lot of potential.  What is on screen, however, is anything but.  The first entry, "Twilight," was dumb, but it was at least watchable.  "New Moon," however, is anything but.

After nearly being killed by a vampire in the first film, Bella Swan (Stewart) is recuperating under the watchful eyes of her father Charlie (Burke), and from a not-so-great distance, Edward Cullen (Pattinson).  But after she gets a cut on her arm during her birthday party at the Cullens, and Edward's "brother" Jasper Hale (Jackson Rathbone) tries to drink her blood, Edward and the Cullens flee.  That leaves Bella pining for him.  In walks her old friend, Jacob Black (Lautner), who has a secret of his own.

Every problem that the first entry had is magnified with "New Moon," and it also has its own problems.  Most obvious is the screenplay.  Written by Melissa Rosenberg (who has written all the "Twilight" films), the screenplay for "New Moon" is probably the worst I've ever heard.  There are more howlers in any given ten minute interval than there are in the entirety of most comedies...and they aren't intentional.

The acting is at best adequate, but that wasn't a strong point in the first film either.  Kristen Stewart does okay, which is impressive considering that she does almost nothing except mope, beg for either Edward or Jacob's undying love, or foolishly put herself into situations where she needs to be rescued.  Robert Pattinson's acting has improved, probably because he's not onscreen for very long and thus has little to do.  He does have chemistry with Stewart and Weitz is able to make him look more romantic than Catherine Hardwicke was in the first film.  Sadly, most of the film is spent with Taylor Lautner as the lead.  As he proved in last year's appallingly bad "Abduction," Lautner cannot act.  He's better as Jacob Black, but that's akin to saying a pile of shit doesn't smell as bad as your roommate's.

And, just like the last one, the leads spend two hours telling each other how much they love each other even though they can't be together for reasons they aren't able to say.  At least "Twilight" had the threat of killer vampires to liven the proceedings.  "New Moon" doesn't.  The only subplot in the film is Edward's dealings with the Volturi, but that doesn't begin until the final 20 minutes.  It does leave open the door for promising plot developments in future installments, however.

It's hard to blame Chris Weitz for the lack of quality in this production.  He's working with a script that could charitably be called pathetic and a lead who can't act to save his life.  Weitz's career will, and has, survived (he directed last year's "A Better Life," which earned an Oscar nomination for its star, Demian Bichir).  Weitz is really a hired gun.  He has a knack for atmosphere, but that's it.

Here's to hoping that the next three installments will be better.

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