The Expendables 2

2/4

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Nan Yu, Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, Liam Hemsworth

Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence Throughout

The appeal for "The Expendables 2" is the same as it was for the first one: seeing the biggest badasses from Hollywood appear in one movie to kick major ass.  The first entry was dumb fun; it would have been more so if Stallone hadn't insisted on shaking the camera into a frenzy every time there was an action scene.  The good news is that the new director, Simon West, doesn't shake the camera (he does once, and only briefly, and it makes sense under the circumstances).  The bad news is that this is movie is worse because Simon West is, and probably always will be, a hack.

The gang is back.  The group of mercenaries led by Barney Ross (Stallone) and his right hand man, Lee Christmas (Statham) is up for round two.  There are two new additions: Billy the Kid (Hemsworth), an ex-Army sniper, and Maggie (Yu), who is making sure that their job, which is once again given to them by Mr. Church (Willis), gets done.  That job is to get a micro-computer which contains the blueprints of a mine where the Soviets left their nuclear weapons after the Cold War ended.  Also after the weapons is Vilain (haha), played with panache by Jean-Claude Van Damme.  But when one of their own is killed, the mission turns personal.  Back to war indeed.

Is it worth discussing the acting?  In a movie like this, probably not.  One doesn't go to "The Expendables 2" in order to see character depth and Oscar-worthy acting.  That being said, the characters are paper thin (as they were in the first one), which means that it's hard to give a damn about any one of them (which in turn means less excitement and suspense).  Adding to the problem is that it's nearly impossible to understand what Stallone and Statham are saying, and they have the most lines in the film.  Jean-Claude Van Damme is a considerably better villain than David Zayas in the first film.  The only one who truly attracted my attention was, surprisingly, Liam Hemsworth.  It's hard not to be won over by Billy's (relative) innocence and enthusiasm.  Unfortunately, he doesn't have a lot of screentime.  Ditto for Jet Li, who is on screen for even less (and he doesn't do any of the martial arts that he is famous for).  Missing in action is Tool, played by Mickey Rourke in the first film (it's probably for the best since Rourke had absolutely nothing to do).

Simon West's resume does not give one a lot of confidence in his abilities.  After breaking his teeth in commercials, he directed the loud and dumb "Con Air," than completely screwed up "The General's Daughter."  Frankly, the only movie he made that's worth watching is "Laura Croft: Tomb Raider," and the success of that movie was its cheese factor, which considering his lack of pedigree, was probably unintentional.  In terms of organization and handling, "The Expendables 2" is pretty inept.  The action scenes are active and lively, but they're also messy.  West also seems to think that we truly care about the story (which rips off "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom," but never mind.  The script is too thin and the actors rightfully know that they're making a simple testosterone flick, not a plot based on moral ambiguity or anything deep like that.  The film's climax, which brings all the action heroes together, is especially disappointing.  West has no sense of place; characters seem to appear exactly where they're needed without regard to logic or the laws of physics.  We never know where anything is, much less where the people are.

During its production, the sequel was rumored to be going for a PG-13 rating because Chuck Norris, a conservative Republican and born-again Christian, refused to appear if it had a lot of foul language (apparently, bloody violence and mayhem is okay with him...true American values).  After an intense backlash from fans, the film was re-edited to add a lot of blood and gore.  The edits are obvious (especially since the profanity is minimal as well...not even a "fuck").  And by the way, this problem afflicted the first film as well.  That one went in without a set rating; producer Avi Lerner assembled two cuts of the film (one PG-13 and one R) to see what tested better.  The latter version was released, but it never seemed like a full-blooded R movie since it wasn't one from the get-go.

Look, the people who want to see it are going to see it.  Even if I truly wanted to convince them otherwise, I couldn't.  And quite frankly, I didn't hate the film.  My only emotion was apathy mixed with slight disappointment.

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