Evil Dead (2013)
1/4
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmore
Rated R for Strong Bloody Horror Violence and Gore, Some Sexual Content and Language
I have not seen Sam Raimi's breakthrough cult classic "The Evil Dead," although I own it on Blu Ray (courtesy of the discount section at Best Buy). Reportedly, it is a mix of scary horror and goofy humor and filled with obscene amounts of blood and gore. The 2013 remake, has only the latter. It's not scary and it's not funny. All in all, it's a drag.
Five friends are spending some time at a remote cabin in the woods, although this is not a weekend getaway. Mia (Levy) is a drug addict, and her know-it-all nurse friend Olivia (Lucas) thinks that time in forced seclusion with no dope will cure her. Along with them are her estranged brother David (Fernandez), his girlfriend Natalie (Blackmore), and their cynical hipster friend Eric (Pucci). In the basement, Eric finds a mysterious book, and in a contrived act of idiocy, he reads from it. That awakens a zombie (or something), who possesses Mia. Mia goes haywire and starts attacking her friends, and then they start to get possessed.
Or something like that. Coherency isn't at the top of director Fede Alvarez's priorities. The script, which includes, of all people, Diablo Cody as one of its writers, fails to establish a set of rules for what can and cannot happen. The only thing that Alvarez cares about is the red stuff, and there's a lot of that. A ton of it. What he doesn't realize is that gore doesn't make a horror movie.
It's hard to care about a group of characters who are either stupid, annoying, or boring. Or all of the above. Now, as has been the case since time immemorial, horror movie characters are not known for their intelligence. But these people are so dumb that they must have lost their way from "Turbulence" or "Acolytes." At least they were in a horror movie, which means that most, if not all, of them won't be alive by the end credits, therefore they cannot pass their tiny IQs on to unfortunate offspring.
The acting is, at best, bland. Jane Levy's performance is as flat as her scream (a no-no for a decent horror movie heroine). It's impossible to care whether she lives or dies. Shiloh Fernandez is the best of the lot, although that is very faint praise, especially considering how unbelievably stupid his character is. Jessica Lucas is nowhere near bossy or self-centered enough to be marginally credible as the Type A personality. And Lou Taylor Pucci, who was so good in the little seen "Carriers," is incredibly annoying as the moronic hipster. I kept thinking to myself, if he doesn't die by the end of the movie, I want my money back. Elizabeth Blackmore is so boring is easy to forget she's in the movie until she pops up onscreen.
Fede Alvarez's direction can be best described as a hack job. There's no style or quality evident. Just lots of screaming, running around, and blood that flies everywhere. To his credit, Alvarez remembers that the most minor and realistic injuries are the scariest and most cringe-inducing. But there's never any set-up or even close to competent handling, so when they pull nails out of their arms, I barely raised an eyebrow. Compare that to Nora-Jane Noone's injury in "The Descent."
I'll admit there are a few mild shocks and moments of humor. But they don't save the movie however, and none of them are shocking or funny enough to make your life incomplete if you miss them. If you do see it, which I don't recommend, bring a barf bag. Preferably a few of them.
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmore
Rated R for Strong Bloody Horror Violence and Gore, Some Sexual Content and Language
I have not seen Sam Raimi's breakthrough cult classic "The Evil Dead," although I own it on Blu Ray (courtesy of the discount section at Best Buy). Reportedly, it is a mix of scary horror and goofy humor and filled with obscene amounts of blood and gore. The 2013 remake, has only the latter. It's not scary and it's not funny. All in all, it's a drag.
Five friends are spending some time at a remote cabin in the woods, although this is not a weekend getaway. Mia (Levy) is a drug addict, and her know-it-all nurse friend Olivia (Lucas) thinks that time in forced seclusion with no dope will cure her. Along with them are her estranged brother David (Fernandez), his girlfriend Natalie (Blackmore), and their cynical hipster friend Eric (Pucci). In the basement, Eric finds a mysterious book, and in a contrived act of idiocy, he reads from it. That awakens a zombie (or something), who possesses Mia. Mia goes haywire and starts attacking her friends, and then they start to get possessed.
Or something like that. Coherency isn't at the top of director Fede Alvarez's priorities. The script, which includes, of all people, Diablo Cody as one of its writers, fails to establish a set of rules for what can and cannot happen. The only thing that Alvarez cares about is the red stuff, and there's a lot of that. A ton of it. What he doesn't realize is that gore doesn't make a horror movie.
It's hard to care about a group of characters who are either stupid, annoying, or boring. Or all of the above. Now, as has been the case since time immemorial, horror movie characters are not known for their intelligence. But these people are so dumb that they must have lost their way from "Turbulence" or "Acolytes." At least they were in a horror movie, which means that most, if not all, of them won't be alive by the end credits, therefore they cannot pass their tiny IQs on to unfortunate offspring.
The acting is, at best, bland. Jane Levy's performance is as flat as her scream (a no-no for a decent horror movie heroine). It's impossible to care whether she lives or dies. Shiloh Fernandez is the best of the lot, although that is very faint praise, especially considering how unbelievably stupid his character is. Jessica Lucas is nowhere near bossy or self-centered enough to be marginally credible as the Type A personality. And Lou Taylor Pucci, who was so good in the little seen "Carriers," is incredibly annoying as the moronic hipster. I kept thinking to myself, if he doesn't die by the end of the movie, I want my money back. Elizabeth Blackmore is so boring is easy to forget she's in the movie until she pops up onscreen.
Fede Alvarez's direction can be best described as a hack job. There's no style or quality evident. Just lots of screaming, running around, and blood that flies everywhere. To his credit, Alvarez remembers that the most minor and realistic injuries are the scariest and most cringe-inducing. But there's never any set-up or even close to competent handling, so when they pull nails out of their arms, I barely raised an eyebrow. Compare that to Nora-Jane Noone's injury in "The Descent."
I'll admit there are a few mild shocks and moments of humor. But they don't save the movie however, and none of them are shocking or funny enough to make your life incomplete if you miss them. If you do see it, which I don't recommend, bring a barf bag. Preferably a few of them.
Comments
Post a Comment