Mike's Musing: A Few Rules for the MPAA

The MPAA is the biggest eyesore in the film industry.  Proclaiming themselves to be a guideline for parents, they're really more like a "talk to the hand" to the audience and filmmakers without enough dough to all but bribe them.  The corrupt nature of the MPAA is so extreme that it's become impossible to hide.  People have been taking notice, but no one except critics and avid film lovers gives a damn.

I think, and I'm not the only one who shares this view, that the MPAA needs to be rebuilt from the ground up.  It's not so much that there's something fundamentally bad about having the G, PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17, it's that they're used and abused so much that they're essentially irrelevant.  Filmmakers with big reputations and big pocketbooks can push the boundaries while little films are given the cold shoulder.  Hypocrisy is essential to the MPAA's ability to function.  Profanity and sex and nudity are no-nos, but violence is A-OK.  Boggles the mind.

Since there's no way in hell that the MPAA is changing anytime soon (studios will spend gazillions to keep the status quo and politicians will have an apoplexy if things change), I have no reservations about giving my two cents to make it more reasonably effective (everyone has their own opinion on what is and is not okay for kids, so it will never satisfy everyone, which is one of the reasons why it's been able to stay the same for so long).

1.  No movie can be rated R simply for language.  This fear of profanity has got to go.  Kids are swearing in middle school hallways more during ten minute intervals than in all of Quentin Tarantino's movies combined.  That may be an exaggeration, but not by much.  It's an exercise in futility to keep swear words out of their mouths, so they might as well give up.

2.  An actor or actress is not nude unless they remove all their clothes.  While I'm trying my best to forget the 90 minutes or so I spent watching "You're Next," I did remember one thing…despite the MPAA's rating reasons citing "nudity," none of the characters actually stripped all the way.  If a character has their underwear or bra on, they're not "nude."  End of discussion.

3.  The film's rating must take into account the context in which a film's objectionable content occurs.  I can't tell you the amount of times I've been shocked at the MPPA's obsessive reliance on its rules, which are foggy at best (I can only count three that are followed with anything close to consistency, and all of them have instances where they are broken: more than one "fuck" is an automatic R rating, wall to wall violence is okay for a PG-13 as long as there's no blood (and anything goes in terms of that for an R rating), and no actress can take her top or bottom off in a PG-13 movie).  It's one thing to show a superhero blowing away a bunch of guys and leaving a city half-destroyed (and getting a hero's praises).  It's another thing to show a character committing an act of violence and dealing with its ramifications.  It's one thing to have a character taker her top off to arouse an audience member.  It's another thing to have them take their top off to give girls a positive self-image.  This is the reason why I understood, if not support, Jack Valenti's proclamation that "Saving Private Ryan" should have been PG-13.

4.  Get rid of the religious officials entirely.  Although they have no voting power, the landmark documentary "This Film is Not Yet Rated" (which every parent should see) said that there are religious officials of various kinds in the room when they decide the rating.  I believe that is perilously close to blackmail.

5.  Have people with actual psychological backgrounds decide the ratings.  It'll at least make more sense because I'm sure they'll know what's best for kids better than parents from one corner of Southern California whose credentials are questionable even by the MPAA's sloppy standards.

6.  Have a studio blind rating system.  Considering what's on screen and all the marketing, it's impossible to not know which movies are big studio movies and which are independent films, but it would at least decrease the amount of influence the studio can have over the rating.

7.  Make studios subject to the same rules as independent films.  If a studio can get advice on what to cut out to earn an R or PG-13 rating, independent studios should be offered the same service.  Frankly, not telling any filmmaker what is causing the higher rating than desired, regardless of where the film comes from, is absurd.  If they don't want to interfere with the filmmaker's vision, then they should just give it the appropriate rating and be done with it.

8.  Be more harsh on violence.  Seriously, this is a no brainer.  If nothing else, it will force studios to place more emphasis on storytelling and less on eye candy.


Like I said, I'll become President via a surprising run-in before the MPAA takes any of this seriously.  But it is food for thought.

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