Ice Cream Man
1/4
Starring: Clint Howard, Justin Isfeld, Anndi McAfee, JoJo Adams, Mikey LeBeau, Olivia Hussey
Rated R for Strong Horror/Terror and Gore, and for a Brief View of a Sexual Image
What do you get when you have a porn director making a narrative film starring B-movie actor Clint Howard? Pretty much what you'd expect.
This movie is pretty bad, although I'd be lying if I said that there aren't worse movies out there ("Identity Thief," "Ben & Arthur," etc.). Just about everything in this movie is lousy, from the acting, to the pacing, to the incessant and repetitive musical score that sounds either like the music from an ice cream truck or a really bad porno. This isn't a movie I recommend seeing.
Gregory (Howard) is the Ice Cream Man in a small town that only exists in "American Beauty." It would be idyllic if the adults weren't self-centered imbeciles who were only concerned with who was sleeping with who. Anyway, Gregory has a nasty habit of stealing kids and going Sweeny Todd on the local populace. A group of kids who call themselves the Rocketeers: Johnny (Isfeld), Heather (McAfee), Tuna (Adams) and Small Paul (LeBeau) think it's the Ice Cream Man, and after two cops (Jan-Michael Vincent and Lee Majors II) don't believe them, they intend on proving it.
"Ice Cream Man" is a horrible cross between two polar opposite genres: the slasher movie and the kiddie adventure. There's a tremendous amount of gore (including cannibalism), and yet the heroes act like they're in "The Goonies" or "Richie Rich." They match wits with a serial killer and the movie acts like it's an after school special. Just what audience is this movie meant for? Bad movie connoisseurs? Masochists?
Naturally, a movie with this premise couldn't possibly be taken seriously, so the film is billed as a horror comedy. Unfortunately, it's not all that funny either. It's not that it's not funny (although it's not), but the humor isn't there. The film was co-written by David Dobkin (from a story he created), who would later go on to direct "Wedding Crashers" and "The Change-Up." Considering how lacking in humor I found those two films to be, maybe I missed something (the flowers had an opportunity to be funny, but it's given a natural explanation).
The acting is flat. Clint Howard, who has shown promise as a character actor over the years, does what he can, but it's not much. The quartet of child actors are bland; they're never convincing, but they're not insufferably irritating either. Former Juliet Olivia Hussey gives new meaning to the term "over-the-top" as Nurse Wharton, Gregory's ex-nurse/landlord/caretaker. The supporting cast includes David Naughton, the hero from "An American Werewolf in London," David Warner, who would later play the nasty butler in "Titanic," and ex-TV star Jan-Michael Vincent. None of them make much of an impression.
From a directorial standpoint, Paul Norman (billed as Norman Apstein) has a long way to go before he can make even a halfway decent movie. The film looks like shit. It's as if he was an ice cream man himself and made this movie with the most expensive camera he could find on his measly budget. It's also technically primitive, with jump cuts, editing gaffes and poorly framed shots. And coming from his background, it's unthinkable that none of the adults gets naked. Seriously man, that should be a no-brainer for you.
This movie should be sent to a cold dark place, only away from all the ice cream.
Starring: Clint Howard, Justin Isfeld, Anndi McAfee, JoJo Adams, Mikey LeBeau, Olivia Hussey
Rated R for Strong Horror/Terror and Gore, and for a Brief View of a Sexual Image
What do you get when you have a porn director making a narrative film starring B-movie actor Clint Howard? Pretty much what you'd expect.
This movie is pretty bad, although I'd be lying if I said that there aren't worse movies out there ("Identity Thief," "Ben & Arthur," etc.). Just about everything in this movie is lousy, from the acting, to the pacing, to the incessant and repetitive musical score that sounds either like the music from an ice cream truck or a really bad porno. This isn't a movie I recommend seeing.
Gregory (Howard) is the Ice Cream Man in a small town that only exists in "American Beauty." It would be idyllic if the adults weren't self-centered imbeciles who were only concerned with who was sleeping with who. Anyway, Gregory has a nasty habit of stealing kids and going Sweeny Todd on the local populace. A group of kids who call themselves the Rocketeers: Johnny (Isfeld), Heather (McAfee), Tuna (Adams) and Small Paul (LeBeau) think it's the Ice Cream Man, and after two cops (Jan-Michael Vincent and Lee Majors II) don't believe them, they intend on proving it.
"Ice Cream Man" is a horrible cross between two polar opposite genres: the slasher movie and the kiddie adventure. There's a tremendous amount of gore (including cannibalism), and yet the heroes act like they're in "The Goonies" or "Richie Rich." They match wits with a serial killer and the movie acts like it's an after school special. Just what audience is this movie meant for? Bad movie connoisseurs? Masochists?
Naturally, a movie with this premise couldn't possibly be taken seriously, so the film is billed as a horror comedy. Unfortunately, it's not all that funny either. It's not that it's not funny (although it's not), but the humor isn't there. The film was co-written by David Dobkin (from a story he created), who would later go on to direct "Wedding Crashers" and "The Change-Up." Considering how lacking in humor I found those two films to be, maybe I missed something (the flowers had an opportunity to be funny, but it's given a natural explanation).
The acting is flat. Clint Howard, who has shown promise as a character actor over the years, does what he can, but it's not much. The quartet of child actors are bland; they're never convincing, but they're not insufferably irritating either. Former Juliet Olivia Hussey gives new meaning to the term "over-the-top" as Nurse Wharton, Gregory's ex-nurse/landlord/caretaker. The supporting cast includes David Naughton, the hero from "An American Werewolf in London," David Warner, who would later play the nasty butler in "Titanic," and ex-TV star Jan-Michael Vincent. None of them make much of an impression.
From a directorial standpoint, Paul Norman (billed as Norman Apstein) has a long way to go before he can make even a halfway decent movie. The film looks like shit. It's as if he was an ice cream man himself and made this movie with the most expensive camera he could find on his measly budget. It's also technically primitive, with jump cuts, editing gaffes and poorly framed shots. And coming from his background, it's unthinkable that none of the adults gets naked. Seriously man, that should be a no-brainer for you.
This movie should be sent to a cold dark place, only away from all the ice cream.
I thought this was a pretty fun horror film.
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