Super Mario Bros.
1/4
Starring: Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis, Fisher Stevens, Richard Edson, Fiona Shaw
Rated PG for Action Violence (I guess...)
"Super Mario Bros." is what happens when a studio hopes to cash in on a new trend and hires filmmakers without a clue. I would be extremely surprised if the writers (Parker Bennett, Terry Runte, Ed Solomon) and/or the directors (Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton) have played any of the Super Mario games. Granted, the film was made in 1993, and the latest release at the time was "Super Mario World" for the Super Nintendo, but at the time it had what passed for a plot in those days (unlike the original arcade game).
Anyone who has played any of the games in the series would tell you that if it could be pegged into a genre, it's fantasy. It's lighter than air and cuter than cute. Yet, the people who turned the beloved games into a monstrosity of a movie have made it into a gritty sci-fi action movie. What the hell?
Anyway, the plot, which is both bizarre and utterly ridiculous, goes something like this. Mario Mario (Hoskins) and his younger brother Luigi Mario (Leguizamo) are plumbers living in Brooklyn who can't catch a break. All their business is being taken up by construction magnate Scapelli (Gianni Russo), who looks and acts more like a mafia don than a buisinessman (he's even flanked by two big flunkies). He's pissed off because while he was breaking ground on a new building, he ran into some fossils, and the local university has taken over for excavation purposes. He does his best to intimidate the head of the dig, a spunky student named Daisy (Mathis), but she's not having it. Daisy, as it turns out, is the daughter of the king of the dimension next door (it was created when the asteroid killed the dinosaurs on this side, if you follow me). So two bumbling nitwits from the dino dimension have kidnapped her because she and the rock she has around her neck are the missing pieces of the asteroid, which would blend the worlds, and allow the local despot, a man named Koopa (Hopper, sporting a bizarre hairdo that is meant to look like reptile fins, I think) to rule both dimensions.
Yeah, it's beyond silly. That isn't such a bad thing, but the result has to be fun (like "Anaconda"). That's not the case here. This is a loud, noisy, and boring adventure movie. It's so stuffed with action scenes that range from the bland to the unbelievably stupid that it's impossible to care about anyone, much less the threadbare plot.
The acting saves the film from being worse than it is. The late Bob Hoskins seems like an odd choice for the mustached plumber, but he gives it his all nevertheless. He does as good a job as anyone, although the actor called the experience "a fucking nightmare." His co-star, John Leguizamo, was on the rise at the time, and he outshines Hoskins (although to be fair Hoskins was probably bored out of his mind during filming). Luigi is simple-minded and naiive, but lovable. And his love for Daisy is endearing. Samantha Mathis has a limited range, but she is lovely as Daisy, the one bright spot in all the muck. Like Hoskins, Dennis Hopper (no stranger to playing deranged characters) looks as if he'd rather be anywhere else.
There are few positive things I can say about this movie. The movie looks good, albeit for a different movie (I was reminded of "Total Recall"). And the score is nice, but again, it belongs in a different movie (think "Sneakers"). Clearly, the people behind the scenes didn't have a clue as to what they were doing.
The one truly good thing about this movie is the conversation Hopper had with his son Henry (who would become an actor himself). As the story goes, Henry asked him why he appeared in this film. Hopper replied, "Well, Henry, I did that so you could have shoes." Henry then told him: "Dad, I don't need shoes that badly."
Nuff said.
Starring: Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis, Fisher Stevens, Richard Edson, Fiona Shaw
Rated PG for Action Violence (I guess...)
"Super Mario Bros." is what happens when a studio hopes to cash in on a new trend and hires filmmakers without a clue. I would be extremely surprised if the writers (Parker Bennett, Terry Runte, Ed Solomon) and/or the directors (Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton) have played any of the Super Mario games. Granted, the film was made in 1993, and the latest release at the time was "Super Mario World" for the Super Nintendo, but at the time it had what passed for a plot in those days (unlike the original arcade game).
Anyone who has played any of the games in the series would tell you that if it could be pegged into a genre, it's fantasy. It's lighter than air and cuter than cute. Yet, the people who turned the beloved games into a monstrosity of a movie have made it into a gritty sci-fi action movie. What the hell?
Anyway, the plot, which is both bizarre and utterly ridiculous, goes something like this. Mario Mario (Hoskins) and his younger brother Luigi Mario (Leguizamo) are plumbers living in Brooklyn who can't catch a break. All their business is being taken up by construction magnate Scapelli (Gianni Russo), who looks and acts more like a mafia don than a buisinessman (he's even flanked by two big flunkies). He's pissed off because while he was breaking ground on a new building, he ran into some fossils, and the local university has taken over for excavation purposes. He does his best to intimidate the head of the dig, a spunky student named Daisy (Mathis), but she's not having it. Daisy, as it turns out, is the daughter of the king of the dimension next door (it was created when the asteroid killed the dinosaurs on this side, if you follow me). So two bumbling nitwits from the dino dimension have kidnapped her because she and the rock she has around her neck are the missing pieces of the asteroid, which would blend the worlds, and allow the local despot, a man named Koopa (Hopper, sporting a bizarre hairdo that is meant to look like reptile fins, I think) to rule both dimensions.
Yeah, it's beyond silly. That isn't such a bad thing, but the result has to be fun (like "Anaconda"). That's not the case here. This is a loud, noisy, and boring adventure movie. It's so stuffed with action scenes that range from the bland to the unbelievably stupid that it's impossible to care about anyone, much less the threadbare plot.
The acting saves the film from being worse than it is. The late Bob Hoskins seems like an odd choice for the mustached plumber, but he gives it his all nevertheless. He does as good a job as anyone, although the actor called the experience "a fucking nightmare." His co-star, John Leguizamo, was on the rise at the time, and he outshines Hoskins (although to be fair Hoskins was probably bored out of his mind during filming). Luigi is simple-minded and naiive, but lovable. And his love for Daisy is endearing. Samantha Mathis has a limited range, but she is lovely as Daisy, the one bright spot in all the muck. Like Hoskins, Dennis Hopper (no stranger to playing deranged characters) looks as if he'd rather be anywhere else.
There are few positive things I can say about this movie. The movie looks good, albeit for a different movie (I was reminded of "Total Recall"). And the score is nice, but again, it belongs in a different movie (think "Sneakers"). Clearly, the people behind the scenes didn't have a clue as to what they were doing.
The one truly good thing about this movie is the conversation Hopper had with his son Henry (who would become an actor himself). As the story goes, Henry asked him why he appeared in this film. Hopper replied, "Well, Henry, I did that so you could have shoes." Henry then told him: "Dad, I don't need shoes that badly."
Nuff said.
I thought this was a pretty decent film, it was off-beat and bizarre enough to be entertaining.
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