Doom

1/4

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Richard Blake, Dexter Fletcher

The version being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Violence/Gore and Language

Rarely has a movie’s title been so appropriate: doom is the situation anyone who views this movie will be in.  I heard that this movie was bad, so I went in fully expecting something totally cheesy and getting a few campy laughs and some perverse enjoyment at seeing all the bullets and body parts fly around.  But “Doom,” based on the popular video game, is so bad that it makes it impossible to watch for camp value.  It’s just a really, really, really bad movie.

The film takes place in 2046.  A portal to Mars has been discovered on Earth, and a research facility has been built there to figure out who built it and why they left.  But something has happened, and a team of hard-core marines has been sent in to take care of it.  Led by the gruff Sarge (Johnson), they’re a tough bunch, although by and large they exhibit far more testosterone than brain cells.  Needless to say, what they find on Mars is not a pretty sight (the scientist sister of one of the marines, played by the lovely Rosamund Pike, being the exception.

I usually like to find some element of praise, however small, in every film I review, no matter how bad it is.  But I’m having a tough time with “Doom.”  The acting is uniformly awful, the characters are boring, and in one case, vile enough to make one wish they would get ripped apart as soon as possible, and the story rarely makes any sense.

What really sets the film apart is the film’s look.  For a $60 million price tag, you’d think that it would at least look halfway decent.  In reality, it looks like shit.  Not only does director Andrzej Bartowiak confuse darkness for atmosphere (most of the action scenes are impossible to see), but camera shots are bland and unsophisticated.  The film looks like it was made for the Sci-Fi channel’s Wednesday afternoon line-up.


Trust me.  Don’t waste your time with this piece of garbage.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Desert Flower

2/4 Starring: Liya Kebede, Sally Hawkins, Timothy Spall, Juliet Stevenson Rated R for Some Violent Content, A Scene of Sexuality and Language The problem with "Desert Flower" is not that Waris Dirie's story isn't suited for the cinematic treatment or that the actress playing her isn't acceptable.  The problem is that director Sherry Hormann doesn't do a good job of telling it.  This is a poorly focused film that can't decide what it wants to be about or what it wants to say. As is the case with many a true story, the life of Waris Dirie is too amazing to be made up by a Hollywood screenwriter.  This woman fled an arranged marriage as a child, spent years as a servant to a Somali diplomat in England, survived on the streets, and was discovered by a fashion photographer while working as a janitor.  Then she became a supermodel and UN Ambassador in the fight against female genital mutilation. Waris experienced a lot in her life.  Telling it all in a...
Read more

The Road

3.5/4 Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Charlize Theron Rated R for Some Violence, Disturbing Images and Language "The Road" has to be the most downbeat, depressing and cynical movie I've ever seen.  That's not meant as a criticism, but a fact.  This is a tough movie to get through, but not a chore.  Those who venture in will find their time well spent, albeit not in a necessarily pleasant way.  Then again, if a movie is based off a novel by Cormac McCarthy, "pleasant" isn't a word one would hope to be used to describe it. The film takes place after the world has ended.  How it happened is not explained because it doesn't matter.  But any hope of the Earth recovering from what happened has long since gone.  A man (Mortensen) and his son (Smit-McPhee) are travelling together, trying to "get to the coast."  There are few people left, although considering what many are doing with the goal of survival, that's a good thing...
Read more

My Left Foot

 2/4 Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Brenda Fricker, Ray McAnally, Fiona Shaw, Alison Whelan Rated R (probably for Language and Brief Violence) "My Left Foot" feels like one of those movies designed to win Oscars and nothing else.  In fact, it did win two Oscars for the immortal Daniel Day-Lewis and Brenda Fricker, but apart from their strong work, there's not much else to remember about this movie.  It's well-acted, but all in all it's pretty dull. Christy Brown (Day-Lewis) is getting recognized for his work in order to raise money for the disabled.  Despite being a talented artist and writer, Christy is not the ideal candidate for the job.  He's an alcoholic jerk who makes no secret of his lust for women nor is he above using his disability to manipulate people into doing what he wants.  Interspersed with his attempts to seduce a woman tasked with looking after him while he awaits his entrance are vignettes from his childhood.  Most notably how his mothe...
Read more