Rampage
1.5/4
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Malin Ackerman, Jake Lacey
Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Violence, Action and Destruction, Brief Language, and Crude Gestures
Back in the 90's when arcades not named "Dave and Busters" actually existed, I loved to play "Rampage." Playing as a monster who climbs buildings, eats the inhabitants and then demolishes the city was definitely fun. Apparently Hollywood, always looking for the next niche, feels the same way about this game and bought the rights. The problem is that, apart from the destruction, there isn't much else to it. So a story was grafted on to it (undoubtedly written by focus groups and other forms of market research...except actual creative thought). Unfortunately, it isn't very good.
A mission on a space station has gone terribly wrong. A pretty scientist has escaped with some crucial data, but her relief is short-lived since her escape pod explodes in the atmosphere. The experiment crash lands in three different places and comes into contact with a wolf, an alligator, and a gorilla named George. George is an amiable ape with a particularly nasty sense of humor, and is doted upon by his trainer, Davis (Johnson). However, after he encounters the mysterious substance, the peaceful primate grows exponentially. And gains a temper to match. A pretty scientist named Dr. Kate Caldwell (Harris) has the answers. A shady company, at the behest of its evil CEOs Claire (Ackerman) and Brett (Lacey), has been experimenting with genetic editing and the result is three monsters that are on their way to destroy Chicago (don't ask). Now it's up to them and a weirdo bureaucrat with a gun (Morgan) to stop them.
"Rampage" is a $120 million miscalculation. The story is dopey (which is fine) and boring (which is not fine). The action scenes are badly staged. The characters are dull (save for George). It takes itself too seriously. And it goes on for far too long. Did I mention that I did not like this movie?
Dwayne Johnson isn't so much an actor as he is a movie star. He has plenty of presence and charisma, but little dramatic range. Surprisingly, director Brad Peyton decides to mute what has turned him into the highest paid movie star in the world. Davis is completely forgettable. It would take a director of cataclysmic ineptitude to make Naomie Harris seem plastic and untalented, and Peyton isn't up to the task. She steals every scene she's in (not that that would be a challenge), which makes it fortunate that she's almost always on screen. Jeffrey Dean Morgan's performance belongs in a different movie. Malin Ackerman is enjoying chowing down on the scenery as a Gordon Gekko wannabe in heels. And her final scene is hilarious in a twisted sort of way.
I would be lying if I said that "Rampage" is a total loss. It isn't. There is a bit of excitement here and there, and the scenes between The Rock and George are hilarious. But the movie is simply too dumb and too boring to be worth sitting through. If you insist on seeing this movie, which I strongly advise you don't, leave the kids at home. This is a very violent movie. There are dismembered bodies, impalements, and other sorts of bloody brutality. Only the MPAA's corruption prevented this from getting the teen-unfriendly R rating it deserves.
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Malin Ackerman, Jake Lacey
Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Violence, Action and Destruction, Brief Language, and Crude Gestures
Back in the 90's when arcades not named "Dave and Busters" actually existed, I loved to play "Rampage." Playing as a monster who climbs buildings, eats the inhabitants and then demolishes the city was definitely fun. Apparently Hollywood, always looking for the next niche, feels the same way about this game and bought the rights. The problem is that, apart from the destruction, there isn't much else to it. So a story was grafted on to it (undoubtedly written by focus groups and other forms of market research...except actual creative thought). Unfortunately, it isn't very good.
A mission on a space station has gone terribly wrong. A pretty scientist has escaped with some crucial data, but her relief is short-lived since her escape pod explodes in the atmosphere. The experiment crash lands in three different places and comes into contact with a wolf, an alligator, and a gorilla named George. George is an amiable ape with a particularly nasty sense of humor, and is doted upon by his trainer, Davis (Johnson). However, after he encounters the mysterious substance, the peaceful primate grows exponentially. And gains a temper to match. A pretty scientist named Dr. Kate Caldwell (Harris) has the answers. A shady company, at the behest of its evil CEOs Claire (Ackerman) and Brett (Lacey), has been experimenting with genetic editing and the result is three monsters that are on their way to destroy Chicago (don't ask). Now it's up to them and a weirdo bureaucrat with a gun (Morgan) to stop them.
"Rampage" is a $120 million miscalculation. The story is dopey (which is fine) and boring (which is not fine). The action scenes are badly staged. The characters are dull (save for George). It takes itself too seriously. And it goes on for far too long. Did I mention that I did not like this movie?
Dwayne Johnson isn't so much an actor as he is a movie star. He has plenty of presence and charisma, but little dramatic range. Surprisingly, director Brad Peyton decides to mute what has turned him into the highest paid movie star in the world. Davis is completely forgettable. It would take a director of cataclysmic ineptitude to make Naomie Harris seem plastic and untalented, and Peyton isn't up to the task. She steals every scene she's in (not that that would be a challenge), which makes it fortunate that she's almost always on screen. Jeffrey Dean Morgan's performance belongs in a different movie. Malin Ackerman is enjoying chowing down on the scenery as a Gordon Gekko wannabe in heels. And her final scene is hilarious in a twisted sort of way.
I would be lying if I said that "Rampage" is a total loss. It isn't. There is a bit of excitement here and there, and the scenes between The Rock and George are hilarious. But the movie is simply too dumb and too boring to be worth sitting through. If you insist on seeing this movie, which I strongly advise you don't, leave the kids at home. This is a very violent movie. There are dismembered bodies, impalements, and other sorts of bloody brutality. Only the MPAA's corruption prevented this from getting the teen-unfriendly R rating it deserves.
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