Born to be Wild
1/4
Starring: Will Horneff, Helen Shaver, Jean Marie Barnwell, Peter Boyle
Rated PG for Mild Language
"Born to be Wild" has a few nice moments in between about 90 minutes of astounding banality and stupidity. This was a mildly promising idea that always takes the dumbest ideas and executes them terribly. There are times when I was wondering if Ed Wood had come back to life and directed this movie.
Rick Heller (Horneff) is a troublemaker. Particularly after his father left him and his mother Margaret (Shaver). After his latest joyride, she forces him to clean the cage at her lab, where she is studying a gorilla named Katie. Unfortunately, the gorilla is leased to a collector named Gus Charlney (Boyle). After his negligence results in the death of his previous gorilla, he takes Katie and puts her on display. Naturally, the suddenly devoted Rick can't have that, so he frees the giant ape and flees to Canada. Apparently, if they cross the border, Katie will be safe. I guess Mexico is too cliche.
Right. It's hard to imagine a movie that is as banal, dim-witted and artificial as "Born to be Wild." And before you ask, the classic song by Steppenwolf does get some airtime in this film. Believe me when I tell you this: such a decision is one of the few things the movie does right. It isn't the central concept that I have a problem with. After all, Koko became world famous for her ability to understand a considerable amount of sign language. And that factoid was used for hilarious effect in "Congo," an infinitely smarter and more entertaining movie. While the premise is hard to swallow, adventure movies always demand a suspension of disbelief. But this movie blows whatever possible concessions out of the water. In order to remain engaged, the viewer must have undergone a complete lobotomy. It's certainly a surprise to me that anyone in this movie is able to talk in full sentences.
It is impossible to believe anything that happens in this movie. Okay, I could believe that there is a teenage boy named Rick who is a delinquent. I could also believe that his mother studied primates. But there were other parts of this movie that made me wonder. Like, is it legal for a civilian to own a gorilla? Particularly one that he poached from the wild as a baby? Don't you have to have a permit for that? And in what world would the government allow a fully grown gorilla to be displayed at a flea market chained up in a 5x5 cage? The movie gets worse from there, including a court scene that defies description. It's almost worth seeing just to understand how dumb Hollywood thinks the public is.
I suppose Will Horneff has some appeal as an actor (he's certainly better here than he was in "Ghost in the Machine," a movie that is actually dumber and more boring than this one). Unfortunately not even he can save the atrocious lines he's been given. Still, he gets my respect for coming as close as he does to creating a sympathetic character. His co-star is less successful. Katie is obviously played by an actor/actress in a gorilla suit, but that's only part of the problem. She never behaves like a real gorilla. There's no consistency to Katie's character. One minute she's speaking sign language, the next she's trying to drive a car.
More questions arise. Like, if a full grown gorilla jumped on someone from 20 feet up, would they survive? What if the gorilla jumped up and down on their chest? And in what world would the resolution to the court scene happen? More importantly, what idiot would buy any of this stuff? Are Hollywood producers that cynical? Are parents so desperate to keep their kids entertained that they'd let their kids watch this dreck?
I admit that I chuckled from time to time, for as much as I hated this movie, I'm not too proud to admit that it did a few things right. And the score by Mark Snow has some nice 80s/90s themes. But it's so dumb, so badly acted and so boring that not even an unhinged John C. McGinley can save it. This movie is a disaster, and has been deservedly forgotten.
Starring: Will Horneff, Helen Shaver, Jean Marie Barnwell, Peter Boyle
Rated PG for Mild Language
"Born to be Wild" has a few nice moments in between about 90 minutes of astounding banality and stupidity. This was a mildly promising idea that always takes the dumbest ideas and executes them terribly. There are times when I was wondering if Ed Wood had come back to life and directed this movie.
Rick Heller (Horneff) is a troublemaker. Particularly after his father left him and his mother Margaret (Shaver). After his latest joyride, she forces him to clean the cage at her lab, where she is studying a gorilla named Katie. Unfortunately, the gorilla is leased to a collector named Gus Charlney (Boyle). After his negligence results in the death of his previous gorilla, he takes Katie and puts her on display. Naturally, the suddenly devoted Rick can't have that, so he frees the giant ape and flees to Canada. Apparently, if they cross the border, Katie will be safe. I guess Mexico is too cliche.
Right. It's hard to imagine a movie that is as banal, dim-witted and artificial as "Born to be Wild." And before you ask, the classic song by Steppenwolf does get some airtime in this film. Believe me when I tell you this: such a decision is one of the few things the movie does right. It isn't the central concept that I have a problem with. After all, Koko became world famous for her ability to understand a considerable amount of sign language. And that factoid was used for hilarious effect in "Congo," an infinitely smarter and more entertaining movie. While the premise is hard to swallow, adventure movies always demand a suspension of disbelief. But this movie blows whatever possible concessions out of the water. In order to remain engaged, the viewer must have undergone a complete lobotomy. It's certainly a surprise to me that anyone in this movie is able to talk in full sentences.
It is impossible to believe anything that happens in this movie. Okay, I could believe that there is a teenage boy named Rick who is a delinquent. I could also believe that his mother studied primates. But there were other parts of this movie that made me wonder. Like, is it legal for a civilian to own a gorilla? Particularly one that he poached from the wild as a baby? Don't you have to have a permit for that? And in what world would the government allow a fully grown gorilla to be displayed at a flea market chained up in a 5x5 cage? The movie gets worse from there, including a court scene that defies description. It's almost worth seeing just to understand how dumb Hollywood thinks the public is.
I suppose Will Horneff has some appeal as an actor (he's certainly better here than he was in "Ghost in the Machine," a movie that is actually dumber and more boring than this one). Unfortunately not even he can save the atrocious lines he's been given. Still, he gets my respect for coming as close as he does to creating a sympathetic character. His co-star is less successful. Katie is obviously played by an actor/actress in a gorilla suit, but that's only part of the problem. She never behaves like a real gorilla. There's no consistency to Katie's character. One minute she's speaking sign language, the next she's trying to drive a car.
More questions arise. Like, if a full grown gorilla jumped on someone from 20 feet up, would they survive? What if the gorilla jumped up and down on their chest? And in what world would the resolution to the court scene happen? More importantly, what idiot would buy any of this stuff? Are Hollywood producers that cynical? Are parents so desperate to keep their kids entertained that they'd let their kids watch this dreck?
I admit that I chuckled from time to time, for as much as I hated this movie, I'm not too proud to admit that it did a few things right. And the score by Mark Snow has some nice 80s/90s themes. But it's so dumb, so badly acted and so boring that not even an unhinged John C. McGinley can save it. This movie is a disaster, and has been deservedly forgotten.
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