Cold War

1.5/4

Starring: Joanna Kulig, Tomasz Kot, Borys Szyc

Rated R for Some Sexual Content, Nudity and Language

When "Cold War" started with a black and white uncut image of a man at the center of the screen playing the bagpipes, my heart sank.  It was going to be one of those movies.  You know what I'm talking about.  Those "high art" movies where people speak in a monotone (or might as well, for all the interest they generate), talk in banalities that seem deep and sophisticated and where the director believes that any kind of emotional engagement is sacrilege.  I knew from the first frame that this movie was going to be a trial.  So much so that even its skinny running time of 88 minutes offered little comfort.

The plot, as much as I could follow, is simple.  Zula (Kulig) is a young farm girl who has been selected to join a political singing group for the communist party in Poland after WWII.  Displaying natural singing ability and beauty, she quickly becomes the apple in the eye of the conductor and composer of the group, a man named Wiktor (Kot).  They fall in love, but the changing of the times makes it difficult for them to be together.

Aren't movies supposed to involve the viewer?  Isn't that why we go to the movies?  To be told stories where we have an investment in the outcome?  To meet interesting people on screen and watch what things happen to them?  Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, or simply not sophisticated enough to get it.  But there's nothing to be "got" here.  It's just an excuse for a director to impress the high brow critics and stretch his ego.

This movie is almost completely incoherent.  Mainly because all of the film's would be "big moments" happen off screen.  The timeline surges forward at random times, but director Pawel Pawlikowski doesn't bother to explain what happened or how the characters got there.  I guess the idea is for the audience to "intuit" these things.  I like using my brain as much as everyone else (probably why Will Ferrell doesn't usually tickle my funny bone), but this is just lazy and arrogant.

I guess that stars Joanna Kulig and Tomasz Kot "inhabit" their characters, since neither shows the artifice or discomfort of bad actors.  Not that they have any consistent people to play.  Zula and Wiktor are the same plastic enigmas at the end that they are at the beginning.  For all I knew about them (or cared), they might as well have been extras in the background.  Apparently, both Pawlikowski and Kulig were "inspired" by Lauren Bacall in creating her character.  If Bacall was still alive, she would've sued.  None of the legendary actress's charm, charisma or talent shows up on screen.  Zula, like everyone else in this movie, is boring.  Tomasz Kot somehow impressed Danny Boyle enough to want to cast him as the villain in the next Bond picture (the Bond producers refused, causing Boyle to depart the project), but again, it's hard to see what he saw in someone as boring and lifeless as Kot.  Apparently this film is based on the romance of the director's parents.  I can imagine them going up to him after watching it, wearing forced smiles and offering false congratulations for his "accomplishment."

Although it has many of the same flaws as another overrated arthouse flick, "In the Mood for Love," I must admit that "Cold War" has a bit more going for it.  It's slightly more coherent and about half the film is composed of music scenes that inject a bit of energy in to it (much as Pawlikowski tries to avoid it).  There's also an interesting peek behind the Iron Curtain that gives us an idea of life and art in a post-war Communist country.  That said, if you're looking for that, movies like "The Red Violin" and "Farewell, My Concubine" have done that.  And to better effect.

Movies like "Cold War" piss me off.  There's no story here.  There are no characters, much less interesting ones.  It's just an excuse for the director to show off how "artistic" he is.  Not only is a movie like this a waste of everyone's time and money, but when critics trumpet it because it's the "in" thing to do, they think that all foreign films are like this.  So when they see it and are not impressed with its pretentious badness, they have a knee jerk reaction to movies not released by Marvel or the fat ginger with glasses.  So when a good foreign film like "Black Book" or "Brotherhood of the Wolf" comes along, they refuse to see it.  

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