A Troll in Central Park

 1.5/4

Starring (voices): Dom DeLuise, Phillip Glasser, Tawny Sunshine Glover, Cloris Leachman, Charles Nelson Reilly, Jonathan Pryce, Hayley Mills

Rated G

For some reason, filmmakers tend to underestimate the intelligence and imagination of children.  Not to mention their attention span.  There are exceptions (the Disney classics, anything by Hayao Miyazaki), but in general, that tends to be the rule.  Call me a cynic if you want, but that's the only possible explanation for something as banal and insipid as "A Troll in Central Park."  What makes it all the more surprising is that it came from Don Bluth and Gary Goldman, who made the sophisticated and thought-provoking film "The Secret of NIMH."  Then again, they were also behind the unspeakably awful "The Pebble and the Penguin," so maybe it's not so much.

The film has no plot.  At least none that it can pay attention to for more than a few minutes at a time.  Stanley (DeLuise) is a troll with a green thumb and a heart of gold.  By snapping his fingers, he can make all sorts of plant life grow (and the flowers walk and talk too).  This irritates Queen Gnorga (Leachman), who loves all things gross and evil, to no end.  So she banishes Stanley to a place where no green things can grow.  Ironically, that turns out to be Central Park.  There, Stanley meets two kids, Gus (Glasser) and Rosie (Glover) and teaches them to use their imagination.  But Gnorga knows what's up and is determined to stop Stanley's goodness for once and all.

Anyone going into a kids movie expecting something from Ingmar Bergman has unrealistic expectations.  That said, there is absolutely no excuse for something as brain dead as "A Troll in Central Park."  This film is bereft of thought.  Honestly, it feels as if a dozen different screenwriters wrote a script and the directors took five pages from each and then animated the result.  That's how little coherence and focus this movie has.  Not that it has much plot to begin with.  The chase scenes (of a fashion) are numerous and go on for too long, which in addition to the numerous songs, show just how thin this story actually is.  Was there anyone trying with this movie?

With the exception of Stanley, who has some semblance of personality (albeit not much), there are no characters in this movie.  They're stick figures who jump around and give voice the the banal dialogue.  Dom DeLuise gives his character enough weight that we sense his love of life and plants.  It's not deep, it's not original, but he is by far the only marginally interesting character in the film.  The best I can say about Cloris Leachman is that she has a few mildly witty lines.  The kids are forgettable.  Blah blah blah.

The animation is mixed.  There's Stanley and the animals, and then there's everyone else.  Stanley and the cuddly animals exhibit the playfulness that is a hallmark of Don Bluth and Gary Goldman.  It's their signature quirk, and while it's not as dramatic as in "The Secret of NIMH," there's no mistake of who it came from.  The kids, however, are standard order after school special stuff from the 80s.  They and the rest of the humans don't seem to fit, much as it tugged at my nostalgia strings.  Gnorga and her crowd are just ugly, and not in the way the animators would presumably have liked.

"A Troll in Central Park" has some moments that do have some of the magic that animation can bring.  Especially the scene where Stanley shows the kids the power of imagination.  It doesn't have anything to do with the story, but credit must be given where it is due.  And the musical score by Robert Folk is pleasing to the ears.  But this film is still a turkey that is best avoided like the plague.  Show your kids "My Neighbor Totoro" instead.