Yakuza: Like a Dragon

 1/4

Starring: Kazuki Kitamura, Goro Kishitani, Natsuo, Yutaka Matsushige

Not Rated (probable R for Strong Violence)

Movies and video games do not have a good relationship with each other.  Games based on movies are rushed through development to meet movie premiere dates while movies based on games have yet to find a substitute for the interactivity that gaming is all about.  Still, video games are getting more cinematic with each new release.  None more so than the "Yakuza" games.  In addition to being able to beat the crap out of random thugs (including slamming them into the side of buildings and pound them with a stop sign), each game has an overarching story that is a roller coaster ride of violence, betrayal, mystery and intrigue.  With a little bit of comedy for seasoning.

Which is why I thought that a film version of the first game had potential.  Of course, even without the side quests and a majority of the random fights, "Yakuza Kiwami" still takes a good thirty hours or so to get through.  But sticking to the story and cutting excess detail could have allowed it to work.  Unfortunately, director Takashi Miike seems to do whatever he can to butcher a story that essentially tells itself.  Anyone who hasn't played the game is going to be lost from frame one, and anyone who has played it is going to be offended by how Miike has treated a brilliant narrative.

10 billion yen has gone missing from the Tojo Clan, a syndicate of the yakuza based in Kamurocho (a fictionalized version of the Kabukicho district of Tokyo).  Everyone is looking for it except for Kazuma Kiryu (Kitamura).  Just released from prison after a ten year sentence, his main goal at the moment is to find the mother of a young girl named Haruka (Natsuo).  But he is stopped at every turn by Goro Majima (Kishitani), who wants to finish their fight from 10 years ago.

The story is so choppy and incoherent that I was frequently lost, and I had played the game.  I'm not going to criticize Miike's decision to condense the story; a lot of compression was needed to squeeze it into a two hour time frame.  But making the story take place in one night heightens the sense of contrivance and doesn't give the story any chance to breathe.  Worse still is his decision to shove in two subplots, one involving a pair of Bonnie and Clyde wannabes and the other about an inept bank robbery.  Perhaps this is his attempt to reflect the diverse side stories that occur in every "Yakuza" game, but it doesn't work.  They waste precious time and, worse, they're boring.

Acting is not the film's saving grace.  Kazuki Kitamura lacks the screen presence needed to play the Dragon of Dojima.  I'll give the actor a pass on only somewhat resembling the video game Kiryu, but the actor brings nothing to the role.  This Kiryu isn't stoic or devoted to doing the right thing at all costs.  He's a bore and a pussy.  The role of scene-stealing Goro Majima was either going to be the film's greatest success or its achilles' heel.  With such an off the wall character, there is no middle ground.  Goro Kishtani does as well as anyone could, I suppose, in a role that was probably impossible to cast.  Majima, known as the Mad Dog of Shimano, is like a psychotic version of Jack Sparrow; part menace, part clown.  But the actor playing him doesn't go far enough.  The only way to play him is to go over-the-top, and Kishtani holds back.  Natsuo is fine as Haruka (if way too old), but she's more of a plot device than a legitimate character (Haruka would be fleshed out in the sequels).  Yutaka Matsushige is on screen as detective Makoto Date, but he has nothing to do.

Miike tells the story without ever explaining anyone's motives.  People act without reason, and as a result feel like props that Miike can push through the narrative.  For example, Akira Nishkyama (Claude Maki) is the main antagonist, and his motives are what can charitably be called complicated.  The film jettisons any development of his character, turning a sympathetic but morally twisted man into just some random thug.  Yumi (Saki Takaoka) fares even worse.  Her motives are explained, but because a key character has no development whatsoever, her story loses all impact.  As a result, the climactic fight at the top of the Millennium Tower, which was great drama in the game, feels dead here.

One would think that the action scenes would translate well into cinema.  Such a belief is far too optimistic.  They're blandly filmed and lack adrenaline.  Miike's decision to show heat actions is a huge mistake; what looks awesome in a video game feels like something Ed Wood would make when put to film.  They lack flair and extravagance, two hallmarks of the games that earned the franchise lots of fans.

Perhaps it would take a cult director to translate something as skewed and offbeat as "Yakuza" to film.  If so, Miike wasn't the right man.  Miike's swagger has always outstripped his talent, and it shows here.  This looks like a fan film rather than the splashy project it needs to be.  There's no humor, adrenaline or any vested interest in this misbegotten project.  In short, there's no reason to see it.

Just play the games.  You'll be much happier.  Trust me.