Bubba Ho-Tep

 1.5/4

Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ossie Davis

Rated R for Language, Some Sexual Content and Brief Violent Images

Horror movies have a history of taking place in unique locations.  "The Descent" took place in a cave.  "The Relic" had a monster go berserk at a museum gala.  "The Nun" had a priest, a novitiate, and a small town boy get menaced in a convent.  "Bubba Ho-Tep" may be the first monster movie that takes place in a nursing home.  And instead of a cast of twenty-somethings with more good looks than common sense, we have Elvis Presley and JFK, both of whom are very much alive.

Elvis Presley (Campbell), as we learn, did not die in 1977.  He switched places with an Elvis impersonator named Sebastian Haff, and he's the one who died.  Of course no one believes him, and they think that this old fart with a beer gut and a bad hip is either lying or senile.  Down the hall from him is an African American gentleman who claims to be JFK (Davis) and is also under a new identity.  The two join forces to take down a mummy who is picking off the residents one by one.

There is no possible way to take any of this seriously, and writer/director Don Coscarelli (working from a short story by Joe R. Lonsdale), doesn't bother to try.  He's clearly going for the campy. midnight movie vibe, which is probably the only way to treat a story like this.  Unfortunately it doesn't even work on that level.  The goofy energy needed to make this movie sinfully enjoyable is missing.  Nothing is pushed far enough and the film feels low-key and earnest when it should be spirited and silly.  Watching it kinda feels like watching a Looney Tunes cartoon directed by Lars von Trier.  There's depth and drama here (or attempts at such things) in a movie that has no use for them.

Bruce Campbell has built a career on chewing the scenery, and that's what he brings to the role of an old and fat Elvis.  But this Elvis spends so much time trying to get us to feel sorry for him that there's little that the actor can do.  He's held hostage by the screenplay.  Ossie Davis straddles the line of senility like a pro, making us wonder if he is who he says he is or has lost his marbles.

I wanted to like this movie.  I really did.  But even with the best of intentions, it misses the mark.  A movie like this should be up.  The verve and mischief needed for it to work are missing or are so subdued that it might as well not have tried.  I lay the blame at the director's feet.  He has the premise and the actors necessary for this film to work, but what he doesn't have is a sense of fearlessness.  The only way for this movie to work is to charge ahead with its nutso story.  The director has to have the nerve, or perhaps the stupidity, to throw everything at the screen with as much zaniness as possible.  But Coscarelli doesn't.  He holds back, and what should be a goofy way to spend 90 minutes is a drag with only a few amusing lines to recommend it.

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