Mortal Kombat (2021)

 1/4

Starring: Lewis Tan, Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson, Joe Taslim, Tadanobu Asano, Mehcad Brooks, Hiroyuki Sanada, Matilda Kimber, Laura Brent, Chin Han

Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence and Language Throughout, and Some Crude References

I should really listen to my friends more.

I once asked my friend Chris if he wanted to see "Mortal Kombat" in IMAX with me.  He declined, and suggested that I watch it on HBO Max instead.  I told him that I didn't have that subscription service, and if memory serves, he told me the movie wasn't worth paying 20 bucks for at the theater.  He's not as big of a movie fan as I am, but he's a smart guy so I took him at his word.  Yet it wasn't until now that I finally caught up with the new reboot film of the classic fighting game franchise.  And you know what?  He was right.

As a straightforward special effects driven gorefest, this new "Mortal Kombat" doesn't make the grade.  It is far too dumb, badly acted and downright cheesy to be appreciated on any level close to serious.  But as a piece of high camp, well, it's still not very good.  But I can't deny that there is some masochistic enjoyment to be had watching what passes for things like "plot" and "acting."

Truth be told, the film has a storyline, although it's paper thin and doesn't make a lot of sense.  Apparently there's a competition between EarthRealm and the OutRealm.  Whoever wins ten bouts controls it all.  EarthRealm has lost nine times already, but there's a prophecy about an earthling who will turn things around.  That doesn't sit well with Shang Tsung (Han), who wants absolute power and is willing to play dirty to get it.  Meanwhile, a low level fighter named Cole (Tan) comes to realize his part in the prophecy, and...

Who knows?  More importantly, who cares?  It's just a flimsy excuse for fan service and, more importantly, the fight scenes.  The good news is that the fight scenes are nicely staged by director Simon McQuoid.  In terms of mano-a-mano action, it comes up short against the likes of "Ninja Assassin" or "Cowboy Bebop: The Movie."  But they're good for some dopey fun (mind-altering substances would help).  It's when the film takes the characters from one fight scene to the other that the film runs into trouble.

I refuse to believe that anyone in front of the camera got their roles simply by auditioning.  With the amount of starving actors in Los Angeles alone, and this is what they come up with?  Apart from Asian stars Tadanobu Asano, Chin Han and the underrated Hiroyuki Sanada, I haven't seen any of these actors before.  And based on the evidence, I hope to never see any of them again.  I've seen high school plays with better acting than what's on display here.  As for the veterans, well, they earn their paychecks, I guess.  Chin Han seems to know he is in a crappy movie and decides to camp it up to the point where he seems more like a drag queen than a villain.  Tadanobu Asano at least gets to hide behind some special effects as the god who is in Earth's corner but can't intervene (of course).  And as nice as it is to see someone of Hiroyuki Sanada's talent, he's only on screen for all of five minutes and has only a handful of lines.  At least Gong Li had something to do in "Mulan," which is more than can be said for Sanada.

The "Mortal Kombat" franchise is infamous for its brutality and gore, but despite the fact that the initial cut got an NC-17 rating, the film feels tame.  It's hard to imagine what the MPAA had a problem with, since they've let far bloodier movies like "From Hell" and "The Descent" skate by with an R rating.  Yet more evidence of how utterly useless the MPAA is.

"Mortal Kombat" is meant for fans and fans only.  And when I say "fans," I mean cosplayers and the like.  People whose litmus test for enjoyment is that they get to see their favorite characters on screen.  I've played the series off and on, but fighting games are not my forte, so I'm not one of the people this movie is aimed at.  Maybe I'm spoiled by movies that actually got me to care about the characters and by filmmakers who know how to tell a story.  Or maybe the filmmakers think everyone in the audience is a dumb philistine.  Probably both, if you ask me.

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