Mike's Musings: Why "Bros" is Bombing at the Box Office...and DESERVES TO!

 "Bros," the gay romantic comedy produced by Judd Apatow, has bombed at the box office.

There are a few obvious reasons for it, number one being that it's absolutely terrible (I gave it a 0/4, and somehow that doesn't seem to be sufficient to describe how much I loathed it).  There's also the fact that the romantic comedy isn't nearly as popular as it was in the Meg Ryan days, and, unless its a big special effects extravaganza, movies do most of their business on streaming.  I have more than a few friends who don't bother going to the theater unless its an action movie with a lot of spectacle.

But these answers don't satisfy co-writer/star Billy Eichner.  He has taken every chance he can to "call out" and "shame" audiences for their homophobia.

While there are certainly some people who are uncomfortable with the idea of watching two men making love, there is absolutely no reason to believe that has anything to do with why "Bros" has tanked financially.  None.

Just look at "Brokeback Mountain."  That film, made well before mainstream audiences began clamoring for more diversity and representation in film, was a love story between two men.  Even now, after nearly 20 years, the film is widely considered to be a groundbreaking classic and holds up remarkably well.  And while it didn't win the coveted Best Picture Oscar, a recent survey found that had they rerun the competition today, it would have been given the award.

"Bros," on the other hand, will not achieve that level of success and acclaim.  It will be relegated to the furthest recesses of streaming services and discount DVD bins.  In my opinion, the sooner the better.  It's so bad that even seeing the poster or a picture of Billy Eichner gets my blood boiling.

That's why it failed.  Not because it's a love story with two gay men, but because Billy Eichner's ego tanked the project.  I'm not going to question Eichner's passion or views.  Those are his own, and he has a right to have them.  The problem is that he didn't explore them in a dramatic or comic way.  Instead, we have a lead character who is a complete jerk.  Bobby, Eichner's alter-ego, is so self-absorbed that not only does he realize that he's an asshole and thinks that's okay, but he doesn't understand or care that others get turned off by him.  I like movies too, but even I understand that there are others who don't share my passion and will get annoyed if I never shut up about them.

Bobby complains about everything.  Hardly two minutes goes by where he doesn't rant about the suffering of the LGBTQ community or claim to be victimized in some way.  True as those things may be, Bobby doesn't help himself.  He's so cynical and combative that staying around him becomes an endurance test.  No wonder he is single.  If I ran into Bobby, I'd run the other way.

Much of Bobby's complaints revolve around him being told to change himself for the comfort of others.  It is true that people should be free to be themselves, but there is something to be said for tact.  While Bobby should not have to use a voice that is not his own, it is not appropriate to complain about the lack of LGBTQ history in a second grade classroom when meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time.  The break up occurs when his boyfriend asks him to "tone down" his activism.  Considering that this is the only thing that Bobby talks about, this is not an unreasonable request.

What Eichner fails to understand is that some people don't have an interest in camp, kitsch, promiscuity and other stuff that Bobby wears with pride.  And as for the gay voice, some gay men are just not interested in men who have the gay voice.  It isn't a personal slight against him, and Bobby's sulking belief that it is sinks the character and the movie.  I would know.  I AM one such gay man.  I've heard too many times that I should date such individuals "because they are expressing themselves" or that "masculine doesn't mean what I think it means."  I've lost count of how many times I've been shamed for not having any attraction to "the gay voice."

And that's the thing: neither I nor anyone else needs to be lectured and guilt-tripped over this.  A film can certainly be made about the struggles of a feminine gay man.  But he has to be sympathetic, not a whiny jerk who plays the victim card every chance he gets.  His views aren't the problem, it's that he lacks the self-awareness to know that not everyone shares them.  He's not being "censored" or told to change himself because of bigotry, but because he doesn't understand that there is a time and place for everything.

But most of all, the movie sucks because the film centers around a narcissist who is simultaneously self-absorbed and self-pitying.

The more I think about it, the angrier I become.  Eichner had a wonderful opportunity here.  He had the change to make the first mainstream romantic comedy with two gay man.  Instead, he blows it by using it to air his grievances as personal slights and to stand on the soapbox and lecture and shame his audience.  He's preaching to the choir and then insulting them for not being as angry as he is.  The fact that he has publicly stated that he doesn't want any Republicans to see this movie only highlights his disconnect with his feelings and his audience.

That's why "Bros" is an utter failure.  And should be.