The Avengers
1.5/4
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hiddleston, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner
Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence and Action Throughout, and a Mild Drug Reference
What a cast! What hype! What a disappointment! It's the fanboys' wet dream, and it's been building for four years. Each of the main characters has at least one movie to their credit and they've all teamed up for one giant movie. It's a complete letdown.
An object called the Tesseract has been stolen by the demigod Loki (Hiddleston). He's taking it so another alien race can come and destroy the Earth. S.H.I.E.L.D has brought together all the big Marvel superheroes: Iron Man, aka Tony Stark (Downey, Jr.), Captain America, aka Steve Rogers (Evans), The Incredible Hulk aka Bruce Banner (Ruffalo) and the other demigod, Thor (Hemsworth) to fight back.
It doesn't take much thought to realize that this is a thinly-veiled remake of last years "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." It's got a powerful object from outer space that everyone wants (Allspark/Tesseract), superhuman fighters (superheroes/Transformers) and an hour long climax. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, Michael Bay's special effects extravaganza is more fun.
The actors do their jobs, but despite them all having their own franchises, there's no one to care about. Fanboys have read the comics so they know the characters intimately and have already forged a relationship with them. Those who aren't comic book lovers have not, and since big studios care more about foreign audiences they want to limit any character development. That leaves people like me sitting in the theater feeling left out and cheated.
With Marvel being bought by Disney, Stan Lee is now a very wealthy man. He also has no shame, prostituting all his comics to Hollywood for boatloads of money. And he also has a very large ego since he cameos in all of them (it should be noted, that he doesn't have the acting skills to pull off a cameo...they all stick out like eyesores).
Joss Whedon is beloved by comic book geeks. I am not among them. I loved "The Cabin in the Woods," but he only co-wrote and produced that. And I hated "Serenity," which was a film add-on to his cult TV series and a complete mess. Here, he proves that his writing is just as bland as his storytelling. At least Michael Bay had style.
I know I'm going to get a ton of hate from this from the two people that actually read my reviews (and the few that come across by chance from browsing the internet). At least have the decency to leave comments to assuage my ego to let me know that there are people that actually read my stuff. I really don't care if you think I'm crap though. Honestly.
Regardless of what I, or anyone else, says, "The Avengers" will make a ton of money. And I'll cry because not only will the superhero craze never end, we'll get sequels. I can only hope that someone will take over for Joss Whedon, but that will never happen because of how profitable this movie is going to be.
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hiddleston, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner
Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence and Action Throughout, and a Mild Drug Reference
What a cast! What hype! What a disappointment! It's the fanboys' wet dream, and it's been building for four years. Each of the main characters has at least one movie to their credit and they've all teamed up for one giant movie. It's a complete letdown.
An object called the Tesseract has been stolen by the demigod Loki (Hiddleston). He's taking it so another alien race can come and destroy the Earth. S.H.I.E.L.D has brought together all the big Marvel superheroes: Iron Man, aka Tony Stark (Downey, Jr.), Captain America, aka Steve Rogers (Evans), The Incredible Hulk aka Bruce Banner (Ruffalo) and the other demigod, Thor (Hemsworth) to fight back.
It doesn't take much thought to realize that this is a thinly-veiled remake of last years "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." It's got a powerful object from outer space that everyone wants (Allspark/Tesseract), superhuman fighters (superheroes/Transformers) and an hour long climax. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, Michael Bay's special effects extravaganza is more fun.
The actors do their jobs, but despite them all having their own franchises, there's no one to care about. Fanboys have read the comics so they know the characters intimately and have already forged a relationship with them. Those who aren't comic book lovers have not, and since big studios care more about foreign audiences they want to limit any character development. That leaves people like me sitting in the theater feeling left out and cheated.
With Marvel being bought by Disney, Stan Lee is now a very wealthy man. He also has no shame, prostituting all his comics to Hollywood for boatloads of money. And he also has a very large ego since he cameos in all of them (it should be noted, that he doesn't have the acting skills to pull off a cameo...they all stick out like eyesores).
Joss Whedon is beloved by comic book geeks. I am not among them. I loved "The Cabin in the Woods," but he only co-wrote and produced that. And I hated "Serenity," which was a film add-on to his cult TV series and a complete mess. Here, he proves that his writing is just as bland as his storytelling. At least Michael Bay had style.
I know I'm going to get a ton of hate from this from the two people that actually read my reviews (and the few that come across by chance from browsing the internet). At least have the decency to leave comments to assuage my ego to let me know that there are people that actually read my stuff. I really don't care if you think I'm crap though. Honestly.
Regardless of what I, or anyone else, says, "The Avengers" will make a ton of money. And I'll cry because not only will the superhero craze never end, we'll get sequels. I can only hope that someone will take over for Joss Whedon, but that will never happen because of how profitable this movie is going to be.
What superhero movie isn't made as a blockbuster based solely on graphics and action; I mean, what did you expect? Review it for what it is and stop complaining because it lacked elements that really do not have any place in this type of movie. Also, I find your distaste in Whedon's Serenity hilarious. How in the hell did you not fall in love with those characters? I think you are just upset because he killed-off Wash. I understand, it's ok.
ReplyDeleteFinally, I think reviewers should write whatever they want and anyway they want. However, your review would be so much better had you not gone from past-perfect tense to present tense. More distracting is your overuse of broad references. You lost me a few times. I also think you should use your movie reviews to review movies. Three of your paragraphs were not even about The Avengers. ;)