Hit and Run
1/4
Starring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Tom Arnold, Michael Rosenbaum, Bradley Cooper, Jess Rowland, Carly Hatter, Joy Bryant, Kristen Chenoweth
Rated R for Pervasive Language including Sexual References, Graphic Nudity, Some Violence and Drug Content
Now here is a movie that is bad in a way that you don't see very often. It's not just badly acted (which it is), poorly told (which it also is) and completely boring (which, again, it is). "Hit and Run" is so innocuous that a few hours after seeing it, I forgot about 90% of what happened during the unending 100 minutes between the beginning and the end.
Professional slacker, who in an example of the film's "humor," is named Charles Bronson (Shepard) is living in a small, out of the way California town. His girlfriend, Annie (Bell), is a professor who specializes in non-violent conflict resolution. Her boss, Debbie Kreeger (Chenoweth) knows of a job opportunity in Los Angeles where she could be at the top of her field. That wouldn't be a problem except that Charles is in Witness Protection, and can't go back to Los Angeles or else he might get killed before he testifies against his bank robbing pals, Alex (Cooper), Neve (Bryant) and Alan (Ryan Hansen). But because he loves her, or maybe just forgot about his current situation, Charles agrees to go because he loves Annie. So trailing him is his incompetent handler, Randy (Arnold), Gil (Rosenbaum), Annie's ex who wants her back, and two idiot cops (Rowland and Hatter).
For about twenty minutes, the film is weird enough to be strangely compelling. The dialogue is Tarantino-esque and the humor runs in the bizarro way. But that dries up fairly quickly once we realize that nothing is happening or is likely going to happen. The characters talk and talk, but it doesn't take a man like Einstein to realize that they're not saying much.
The acting is flat. No one displays any energy or range. Dax Shepard is awful. Charles is such a moron that it ceases to become funny, and you're wondering what a college professor at the top of her field would be doing with a loser like this. Shepard's fiancee, Kristen Bell, is the only one who has any energy, but she's not given any good lines or things to do. If she wants to keep her star on the rise, she'd hope everyone forgets that she appears in this movie. Tom Arnold is okay as the incompetent and utterly worthless Fed, but like everyone else, he's not given anything to do. Bradley Cooper appears to be enjoying himself a little playing the bad guy in dreadlocks, but like Bell, he'll probably wish no one will see this crappy movie. No one else is memorable enough to bear mention, except for the fact that Shepard manages to get a few high-profile cameos including David Koechner, Jason Bateman, Beau Bridges and Sean Hayes.
Because he wrote and co-directed this piece of garbage, a lot of the blame has to be laid at Shepard's feet. The comedy isn't funny (gee, is having the lead characters accidentally walk into the wrong hotel room, which is filled with fat, old, naked people, funny? Didn't think so. It happens twice, and it isn't funny the second time around either), the action scenes (what few there are) aren't exciting, and the characters are so stupid that they quickly become annoying. Stupid characters can be funny when they're treated like stupid characters. But the film thinks that Charles is smart. That's a fatal mistake.
Who is this movie for, I wonder? Dax Shepard's friends, I assume. Or people who are drunk or high...maybe. Not that I would recommend joining either group since that would be a bad idea. The solution would be to ignore this piece of garbage and watch something else.
Starring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Tom Arnold, Michael Rosenbaum, Bradley Cooper, Jess Rowland, Carly Hatter, Joy Bryant, Kristen Chenoweth
Rated R for Pervasive Language including Sexual References, Graphic Nudity, Some Violence and Drug Content
Now here is a movie that is bad in a way that you don't see very often. It's not just badly acted (which it is), poorly told (which it also is) and completely boring (which, again, it is). "Hit and Run" is so innocuous that a few hours after seeing it, I forgot about 90% of what happened during the unending 100 minutes between the beginning and the end.
Professional slacker, who in an example of the film's "humor," is named Charles Bronson (Shepard) is living in a small, out of the way California town. His girlfriend, Annie (Bell), is a professor who specializes in non-violent conflict resolution. Her boss, Debbie Kreeger (Chenoweth) knows of a job opportunity in Los Angeles where she could be at the top of her field. That wouldn't be a problem except that Charles is in Witness Protection, and can't go back to Los Angeles or else he might get killed before he testifies against his bank robbing pals, Alex (Cooper), Neve (Bryant) and Alan (Ryan Hansen). But because he loves her, or maybe just forgot about his current situation, Charles agrees to go because he loves Annie. So trailing him is his incompetent handler, Randy (Arnold), Gil (Rosenbaum), Annie's ex who wants her back, and two idiot cops (Rowland and Hatter).
For about twenty minutes, the film is weird enough to be strangely compelling. The dialogue is Tarantino-esque and the humor runs in the bizarro way. But that dries up fairly quickly once we realize that nothing is happening or is likely going to happen. The characters talk and talk, but it doesn't take a man like Einstein to realize that they're not saying much.
The acting is flat. No one displays any energy or range. Dax Shepard is awful. Charles is such a moron that it ceases to become funny, and you're wondering what a college professor at the top of her field would be doing with a loser like this. Shepard's fiancee, Kristen Bell, is the only one who has any energy, but she's not given any good lines or things to do. If she wants to keep her star on the rise, she'd hope everyone forgets that she appears in this movie. Tom Arnold is okay as the incompetent and utterly worthless Fed, but like everyone else, he's not given anything to do. Bradley Cooper appears to be enjoying himself a little playing the bad guy in dreadlocks, but like Bell, he'll probably wish no one will see this crappy movie. No one else is memorable enough to bear mention, except for the fact that Shepard manages to get a few high-profile cameos including David Koechner, Jason Bateman, Beau Bridges and Sean Hayes.
Because he wrote and co-directed this piece of garbage, a lot of the blame has to be laid at Shepard's feet. The comedy isn't funny (gee, is having the lead characters accidentally walk into the wrong hotel room, which is filled with fat, old, naked people, funny? Didn't think so. It happens twice, and it isn't funny the second time around either), the action scenes (what few there are) aren't exciting, and the characters are so stupid that they quickly become annoying. Stupid characters can be funny when they're treated like stupid characters. But the film thinks that Charles is smart. That's a fatal mistake.
Who is this movie for, I wonder? Dax Shepard's friends, I assume. Or people who are drunk or high...maybe. Not that I would recommend joining either group since that would be a bad idea. The solution would be to ignore this piece of garbage and watch something else.
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