House of the Dead
3/4
Starring: Jonathan Cherry, Ona Grauer, Jurgen Prochnow, Tyron Leitso, Enuka Okuma, Ellie Cornell, Will Sanderson, Sonja Salomaa
Rated R for Pervasive Strong Violence/Gore, Language and Some Nudity
Uwe Boll does not have a good reputation as a filmmaker. In fact, that's probably the understatement of the century. No filmmaker has been hated more than Boll. The German government changed a law that encouraged investing in films simply because of how much the public hated his movies. I've seen two of his movies now, and while I'm not going to claim he's the next Spielberg, the vicious outrage against him by film lovers is way overzealous. "Postal" at least tried to do something different, and it managed a very funny sequence about halfway through. "House of the Dead" on the other hand, is widely considered to be one of the worst movies of all time period. Every critic seems to trash it, and it's at #49 on iMDb's Bottom 100 list (not that that means anything. I mean, "Phat Girlz" is #99).
But the worst film of all time? Hardly. No, it's not perfect; the little clips of the actual "House of the Dead" video game are irritating, and Uwe Boll (whose ego knows no bounds) is prone to self indulgence. It's also not the least bit scary, but I don't think that's what Boll had in mind when he made it. This is a testosterone and adrenaline cocktail. The point of watching this movie is to see the characters kick major zombie ass for more or less 70 minutes. "House of the Dead" is bears more similarities with "Shoot 'Em Up" than say, "The Descent."
A group of twenty-somethings is going to a rave on a deserted island. They are: cynical party pooper Alicia (Grauer), horny stud Greg (Sanderson), sexpot Cynthia (Salomaa), dim-witted model Simon (Leitso), and the token minority, Karma (Okuma). Already there is Rudy (Cherry), who narrates the film at the beginning and the end. When the partiers get to the island, it's completely deserted and the whole place is trashed. That's when they find Rudy and a few others who inform them that the majority of the partygoers were killed and turned into zombies. Now they, plus a cop (Cornell) and their sketchy boat captain (Prochnow) have to figure out how to stay alive long enough for help to arrive.
The acting isn't exactly impressive, but that's to be expected in horror movies, especially ones as silly as this one. Jurgen Prochnow adds a dose of class to the proceedings, despite him chewing on the scenery harder than the cigar he's always chomping on. There's really no time for anyone to develop a character; it's mainly them just running around avoiding/shooting zombies.
If you're looking for more ammunition with which to hate Uwe Boll, you're not going to find it here. Sure, the special effects are pretty cheesy and there's not much atmosphere, but where else can you find a Chinese girl with pigtails (she's named Liberty and is played by Kira Clavell) doing some kung-fu against a zombie horde? The film is at least competently made (aside from the unnecessary and irritating video game inserts) and there's plenty of adrenaline to be found.
As a critic, one must judge a movie for what it is, and not what we think it should be (I admit, I have broken this rule once when I revised my review of "Hollow Man"). If you're looking to get scared, this isn't your movie. However, if you're in the mood for lots of action, gore and cheese, this is a good pick.
Starring: Jonathan Cherry, Ona Grauer, Jurgen Prochnow, Tyron Leitso, Enuka Okuma, Ellie Cornell, Will Sanderson, Sonja Salomaa
Rated R for Pervasive Strong Violence/Gore, Language and Some Nudity
Uwe Boll does not have a good reputation as a filmmaker. In fact, that's probably the understatement of the century. No filmmaker has been hated more than Boll. The German government changed a law that encouraged investing in films simply because of how much the public hated his movies. I've seen two of his movies now, and while I'm not going to claim he's the next Spielberg, the vicious outrage against him by film lovers is way overzealous. "Postal" at least tried to do something different, and it managed a very funny sequence about halfway through. "House of the Dead" on the other hand, is widely considered to be one of the worst movies of all time period. Every critic seems to trash it, and it's at #49 on iMDb's Bottom 100 list (not that that means anything. I mean, "Phat Girlz" is #99).
But the worst film of all time? Hardly. No, it's not perfect; the little clips of the actual "House of the Dead" video game are irritating, and Uwe Boll (whose ego knows no bounds) is prone to self indulgence. It's also not the least bit scary, but I don't think that's what Boll had in mind when he made it. This is a testosterone and adrenaline cocktail. The point of watching this movie is to see the characters kick major zombie ass for more or less 70 minutes. "House of the Dead" is bears more similarities with "Shoot 'Em Up" than say, "The Descent."
A group of twenty-somethings is going to a rave on a deserted island. They are: cynical party pooper Alicia (Grauer), horny stud Greg (Sanderson), sexpot Cynthia (Salomaa), dim-witted model Simon (Leitso), and the token minority, Karma (Okuma). Already there is Rudy (Cherry), who narrates the film at the beginning and the end. When the partiers get to the island, it's completely deserted and the whole place is trashed. That's when they find Rudy and a few others who inform them that the majority of the partygoers were killed and turned into zombies. Now they, plus a cop (Cornell) and their sketchy boat captain (Prochnow) have to figure out how to stay alive long enough for help to arrive.
The acting isn't exactly impressive, but that's to be expected in horror movies, especially ones as silly as this one. Jurgen Prochnow adds a dose of class to the proceedings, despite him chewing on the scenery harder than the cigar he's always chomping on. There's really no time for anyone to develop a character; it's mainly them just running around avoiding/shooting zombies.
If you're looking for more ammunition with which to hate Uwe Boll, you're not going to find it here. Sure, the special effects are pretty cheesy and there's not much atmosphere, but where else can you find a Chinese girl with pigtails (she's named Liberty and is played by Kira Clavell) doing some kung-fu against a zombie horde? The film is at least competently made (aside from the unnecessary and irritating video game inserts) and there's plenty of adrenaline to be found.
As a critic, one must judge a movie for what it is, and not what we think it should be (I admit, I have broken this rule once when I revised my review of "Hollow Man"). If you're looking to get scared, this isn't your movie. However, if you're in the mood for lots of action, gore and cheese, this is a good pick.
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