Mike's Movie Tips

3/4 Starring: Kevin Costner, Rene Russo, Cheech Marin, Ben Johnson Rated R for Language and Brief Nudity I'm not a golfer.  Like half the people who play golf, it seems, I can't swing a golf club to save my life.  I did try, actually.  I was on the golf team for two years in high school, and on the one day where I got to compete in a match, I broke my driver on the first swing.  Yeah, I'm that bad. Anyway, "Tin Cup" is said to be a romantic comedy, and while those elements are definitely there, it works better as a sports movie (the same is true of another romantic comedy/sports movie, "The Cutting Edge," although that one didn't really work because the director thought it was a rom-com when it was really a sports movie).  Its stars, Kevin Costner and Rene Russo, have chemistry, but their interaction is shortchanged for the underdog story.  Doesn't matter, though.  The movie is still fun. Roy "Tin Cup" McAvoy (Costner) is an e...

3/4 Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jaimie Alexander, Eduardo Noriega, Rodrigo Santoro, Luis Guzman, Zach Gilford, Johnny Knoxville, Forest Whitaker Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence Throughout, and Language During the 1980's and 1990's, there was no bigger action star than Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Sure, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone gave him a run for his money, but Arnold reigned king.  He debuted on the screen in 1969 with "Hercules in New York," but his real fame came thirteen years later when he starred in "Conan the Barbarian."  Two years after that, his superstardom was assured, when he stepped in front of the camera for James Cameron and played the iconic role of the Terminator.  His star faded a little by the end of the nineties, and when he entered politics in 2003, he all but vanished from the screen (he did appear in a few cameos over the next 8 years).  But when you're as big as Arnold Schwarzenegger, you can never really fade a...

2.5/4 Starring: Wallace Shawn, Andre Gregory How does one begin to review "My Dinner with Andre"?  For one thing, by clearly stating that it is not a normal film.  The 1981 arthouse smash has little of what we expect from a traditional movie.  Save for two extremely short book-ending sequences, the film takes place entirely at a restaurant and almost always between two characters, Wally Shawn and Andre Gregory. Wally Shawn (Shawn) is a struggling playwright and actor who is meeting an old friend: his mentor, Andre Gregory (Gregory).  They were very close, but a few years ago, Andre fell off the radar and no one heard from him for years.  Now he's returned, and an unnamed friend insists that the slightly burned Wally have dinner with him. In terms of plot, that's all there is.  It's really just two hours of these two men (mostly Andre) talking.  One might assume that watching two men eat and talk would be boring, and they would be righ...

2/4 Starring: Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Sean Penn, Nick Nolte, Emma Stone, Giovanni Ribisi, Robert Patrick, Michael Pena Rated R for Strong Violence and Language "Gangster Squad" acquired a certain degree of infamy after the Aurora tragedy because the trailer, which featured a shooting at a movie theater, was pulled and the film reshot to omit the scene.  Frankly, that's the only thing worth mentioning about this film because, like many January releases, there's not much else to say about it. Los Angeles, 1949.  The City of Angels is ruled with an iron fist by Jewish gangster Mickey Cohen (Penn), who believes that ruling the city is his destiny.  He has a judge who, for a fee, will free any of his cohorts, so he's essentially untouchable.  The Chief of Police (Nolte) decides to fight fire with fire.  He tells one of the few police officers with the guts to save a girl from being raped by one of Cohen's underlings, a man named Sgt. John O'Mara (Bro...

2.5/4 Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Pihla Viitala, Thomas Mann, Peter Stormare Rated R for Strong Fantasy Horror Violence and Gore, Brief Sexuality/Nudity and Language "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" would be a guilty pleasure if it had more little pleasures.  The plot is thinner than one-ply toilet paper and the performances are lazy all around.  Still, the fight scenes are pretty cool. As young children, Hansel and Gretel were abandoned by their father in the middle of the woods.  They find their way to a house that, as we all know, is made of candy.  Inside, they find an ugly witch who wants to cook them alive.  But she is defeated by her two captives and roasted herself.  Now, these two orphans have grown up to become Hansel (Renner) and Gretel (Arterton): Witch Hunters.  But with more and more kids being snatched by evil witches, it becomes clear that the Grand High Witch, a nasty piece of work named Muriel (...

1.5/4 Starring: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabelle Nelisse, Daniel Kash Rated PG-13 for Violence and Terror, Some Disturbing Images and Thematic Elements Generally speaking, January isn't the best time to release a horror movie.  People are catching up on the Oscar bait movies, trying to stick to their New Years resolutions of eating less and exercising more, and staying out of the bitter cold as much as possible.  So when a major studio releases a movie that's intended to scare the living hell out of people in January, it's usually (although not always) a bad sign.  Unfortunately, that's the case here. Shortly after the financial meltdown, Jeffrey (Coster-Waldau) shoots his wife and flees with his two daughters.  After the car runs off the road, Jeffrey takes them to a remote cabin, intending to kill them and himself.  But something stops them. Jeffrey's hipster brother Lucas (also Coster-Waldau) hasn't given up searc...

2/4 Starring: Jeremy Renner, Artel Kayaru, Matt Newton, Bruce Davison, Kate Williamson, Dion Basco Rated R for Aberrant Violence, Sexuality, Language and Some Drug Use Surely a figure as notorious and horrifying as Jeffrey Dahmer, convicted cannibalistic serial killer, deserves a more compelling biopic than this.  Strictly speaking, this is less of a biopic than a character study, but despite the best efforts of its star, "Dahmer" fails to develop Jeffrey into a three dimensional figure. "Dahmer" doesn't really have much of a plot.  Instead, it's mostly a series of interactions between Jeffrey (Renner) and three men: a gay man named Rodney (Kayaru), a straight teen named Lance (Newton), and his father, Lionel (Davison).  Interspersed with it are montages and clips of Jeffrey. What saves this film from being a complete and utter waste of time are the performances.  All four leads are excellent.  Renner can always be counted on for a performance that...

2/4 Starring: Sebastian Gregory, Hanna Mangan Lawrence, Joshua Payne, Joel Edgerton, Michael Dorman Not Rated (Probable R for Strong Graphic Violence and Sexual Content, Language and Drug Use) Here's a helpful hint for everyone who wants to live until their natural death: if you suspect someone of being a serial killer, don't try to blackmail them.  If that sounds like obvious advice to you, imagine how hard it is to care about the fates of three boring teenagers who decide not to follow this piece of common sense.  Admittedly, they do try to do the obvious and call the police, but still.  If you find a dead body in the woods, that doesn't give you license to do something so stupid.  Get the cops attention any way you can.  Lead them by the hand if you have to.  But don't blackmail the killer into doing your dirty work for you.  It can only end one way, and that's the way you don't want it to end. With three protagonists that are this lacking i...

3/4 Starring: Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts, Tom Holland, Samuel Joslin, Oaklee Pendergast Rated PG-13 for Intense Realistic Disaster Sequences, including Disturbing Injury Images and Brief Nudity There's no doubt that "The Impossible," based on a true story of a family who survived the 2004 tsunami, is a harrowing film.  But everyone will agree that it could, and should have, been so much more. The Bennett family, which includes Henry (McGregor), Maria (Watts), Lucas (Holland), Thomas (Joslin) and Simon (Pendergast), is spending the holidays in Thailand.  A few days into their stay, a tsunami hits.  The island paradise is now a chaotic wasteland filled with pain, death and destruction.  The family has been split up; Lucas tries to find help for gravely injured Maria, while Henry tries to find his family members with his younger two sons. There's nothing wrong with the performances.  With Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor as the leads, that's not particularly...

4/4 Starring: Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Jeffrey DeMunn, Debrah Farentino, Becky Ann Baker Rated PG-13 for Intense Thematic Material and Violence/Gore When deciding whether or not to recommend "Storm of the Century" to you, there's really only one question I have to ask: can you stand 4.5 hours of constant chills?  If the answer is yes, then definitely check this one out.  If not, go for something shorter, like " The Descent " or "Halloween." Granted, "Storm of the Century" isn't as frightening as either of those films, but it isn't trying to be.  It's really almost Hitchcockian.  If Alfred Hitchcock and Agatha Christie collaborated on a supernatural thriller, it may have turned out to be something like this.  Apologies to Stephen King, of course, who wrote the screenplay. Tall Island is a small village off the coast of Maine.  Everyone knows and looks out for each other.  But more importantly, they can keep ...

3/4 Starring: Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Jennifer Ehle, Mark Strong Rated R for Strong Violence including Brutal and Disturbing Images, and for Language Before 9/11, few people had heard of Osama bin Laden.  After the terrorist attacks that left nearly 3,000 dead and more than 6,000 injured, his name became infamous around the world.  It took nine and a half years to track him down and kill him in what was celebrated in most parts of the world as a stunning blow against terrorism.  Due to its fame and inherent interest, it was inevitable that a film version would be made.  Pity the film isn't better. Maya (Chastain) has a hunch: a courier that a lot of detainees say has high connections may be the key to finding Osama bin Laden.  Unfortunately, without a lot of evidence and more terrorist attacks taking place, Maya's hunch is being tossed aside by higher ups like Joseph Bradley (Chandler), until her persistence finally gets att...

3.5/4 Starring: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Joyce Van Patten Rated PG-13 for Crude Material including Sexual References, Language and Some Male Rear Nudity In today's world, where quick electronic entertainment is so easy to get to, real fun and happiness that comes from our interaction with others and exercising our brains is becoming increasingly rare.  That's ironic, because ultimately that stuff is far more memorable than what you did playing "Halo."  "Grown Ups" works because it remembers this simple fact. In 1978, five friends won a championship basketball game.  They part ways and only reunite 30 years later after their beloved coach passes on.  All five players return, with their families in tow, for the funeral.  They are Lenny (Sandler), who was become a mega successful Hollywood agent and is married to a fashion designer (Hayek) with a naiive daughter and two sp...

After the Aurora shootings, I was hoping that instead of blaming guns or politics people would focus on the real issue: mental illness.  Sadly, it took another shooting, the Newtown shootings, for people to get the picture.  Still, there's a lot of talk about gun control and while banning certain dangerous weapons and making it more difficult for the mentally unbalanced to get firearms can't hurt, that's not the issue.  That being said, I suppose it was inevitable that loudmouths would blame violence in Hollywood. The theory that violence in the media causes people to become violent is not new.  It's been around pretty much forever.  Even Plato expressed his concerns over it affecting the children.  Still, whenever a violent incident happens, someone is bound to blame the movies.  And given my frequent criticisms of the MPAA due to their lax views on violence, one might assume that I subscribe to this view. Actually, I don't. Personally, I think ...

I put this off for a while on the account that I haven't seen the last two Top 10 contenders.  I went to see "Les Miserables," but left early because the audience members were so rude (they brought their own food and didn't understand the meaning of the term "be quiet").  I didn't care for what I saw, but as a film critic, I'll see it again.  I saw "Django Unchained" last night, but I was tired so I want to see it again before I review it.  Because neither film is going to be on my Top Ten list, I'm free to write it. So here goes... 10.   This Means War .  Admittedly, this movie went down a few notches because it wasn't as funny on repeat viewing.  Or maybe it was because the TV in the kitchen is so high that it became distancing.  Whatever the reason, "This Means War" was one of the year's most enjoyable surprises. 9.   21 Jump Street .  2012 was a great year for comedy, and although this isn't the funniest ...

3/4 Starring: Denzel Washington, Angela Bassett, Albert Hall, Al Freeman, Jr., Delroy Lindo, Spike Lee Rated PG-13 for A Scene of Violence, and for Drugs and Some Language Malcolm X was too important a figure for a film not to be made of his life.  Arguably the most influential civil rights activist next to Martin Luther King, Jr., the country would not be the same had it not been for the work of the man. Born Malcolm Little in 1925, the future civil rights leader did not have a promising start in life.  He witnessed racial violence first hand, and his father was murdered.  He began his life working for a seedy bookie West Indian Archie (Lindo), then moving to hustling and thievery with his pal Shorty (Lee).  After his arrest, Malcolm meets a man named Baines (Hall), who opens his eyes to the pointless existence that he is living.  He converts to Islam and starts working for the Nation of Islam under Elijah Muhammad (Freeman Jr.).  Now known as Malc...

3/4 Starring: Adam Kaufman, Brad William Henke, Mike C. Williams, Paul McCarthy-Boyington, Catherine Mangan Rated R for Strong Violence and Gore and for Pervasive Language Like many movies, "Altered" is obviously flawed, but the end result is worth seeing.  It could be argued that the film is more of a psychological thriller than a straight horror film.  The plot is a little jerky early on, but the acting is solid and there's a consistent level of tension from the get-go. A trio of rednecks, big Duke (Henke), dim bulb Otis (Williams), and loose cannon Cody (McCarthy-Boyington) are hunting in the woods at night carrying big guns and a harpoon.  They catch what they're looking for, but this makes them extremely nervous.  They decide to take what they've caught (it's still alive) to their old friend Wyatt (Kaufman).  He won't like it, but he'll know what to do.  Now the four of them, plus Wyatt's girlfriend Hope (Mangan), have a dangerous alie...

3/4 Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Nathan Fillon, Michael Rooker, Gregg Henry, Tania Sauliner, Brenda James Rated R for Strong Horror Violence and Gore, and Language "Slither" is one of those horror movies that throws on the gobs of gore with a few yuks along the way.  While it's neither funny or scary enough to be truly great, it does have its charm. In a small southern town, Starla Grant (Banks) lives with her husband Grant Grant (Rooker).  No one can understand why these two married except for her to escape a bad home and into money.  Especially not Sheriff Bill Pardy (Fillon), who has long loved her from afar.  One after Starla declines his pleas for some bedroom Pilates, Grant goes for a walk with Brenda (James), a girl who has loved him from afar.  There, he gets stung by what looks like a king sized larva.  Soon he's changing: first it's rashes and boils, then it's large growths that make him look like a very inbred squid.  Of course, i...

Another year, another Bottom 10 list.  I saw more movies in theaters this year so the movies on both my Top and Bottom list are more appropriately chosen.  My best friend was skeptical that I put "Bridesmaids" on my Top 10 list last year.  I would have been too, but I didn't see enough movies.  Ditto for the Bottom 10 list.  All movies on this list have a 1/4 or less. Looking back, there are more 1.5/4 movies and below, so it feels like there were more bad movies than good ones, despite everyone's beliefs to the contrary.  I share those views; this was a great year for movies.  Keep in mind, however, that 0 to 1.5 encompasses 4 ratings, while the Top 10 (3.5/4) encompasses 2.  So really it's not so bad. Enough prattling on... (Dis)Honorable Mention: " Lawless ." Honestly, I can't remember why I gave this a 1.5/4 rather than a 1/4...in my mind it seems to be worse than the Madea movie, but I'm not going to revisit them to figure out why. ...

2.5/4 Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Tremaine 'Trey Songz' Neverson, Tania Raymonde, Keram Malicki-Sanchez, Shaun Sipos Rated R for Strong Grisly Violence and Language Throughout "Texas Chainsaw 3D" is hilarious.  Unless it's a " Scream " movie, that's a bad thing for a horror movie.  But the film is so openly comic and so silly that it had to be on purpose.  In fact, one could argue that this film belongs more in the "comedy" genre rather than "horror." Heather (Daddario) is about to go on vacation to New Orleans with her boyfriend Ryan (Neverson) and friends Nikki (Raymonde) and Kenny (Malicki-Sanchez).  Shortly before their departure, Heather gets a letter saying that she inherited a house from her grandmother.  Strange, since all of her grandparents are long dead.  Still, she goes to claim her inheritance with her friends tagging along (plus a hitchhiker named Darryl (Sipos)).  What she doesn't know is that the huge...

2/4 Starring: Annette Bening, Aidan Quinn, Paul Guilfoyle, Robert Downey, Jr. Rated R for Violence/Terror and Language Like " The Bodyguard ," "Greedy," and " Firelight ," "In Dreams" is one of those movies from my childhood that I was intrigued by but never got the chance to watch until now.  I remember being especially interested because news reports warned parents not to take their kids to this movie (although I can't understand why...there's nothing here that doesn't occur in other, better R-rated movies). Claire Cooper (Bening) has had strange dreams all her life.  Lately, however, the dreams have begun to frighten her because she sees clues about the serial killer who is abducting and killing young girls, although the clues only make sense after they find the bodies.  She begins to think that she has a psychic link to the killer (even she admits this is very silly).  But when her own daughter becomes a victim, Claire...

3/4 Starring: Hayden Christensen, Peter Sarsgaard, Chloe Sevigny, Melanie Lynskey, Hank Azaria, Steve Zahn Rated PG-13 for Language, Sexual References, and Brief Drug Use We take our news as truth.  The stories we read in USA Today, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and so on as fact, although the writer spins it the way he or she wants it.  Occasionally, a mistake is made, as in the name is misspelled or a fact is wrong (such as when Ryan Lanza was originally reported to be the perpetrator of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, when it was in fact his brother Adam...okay, so that's not minor, but you get my point).  The paper then publishes a retraction and issues an apology.  Not much harm done usually. With the case of Stephen Glass, it's a little different.  Glass was a hotshot writer at The New Republic, which is "the in-flight magazine of Air Force One."  He didn't just fudge facts or use sources that were unreliable.  H...