Mike's Musings: Rape is not a Joke
The fact that I feel like I have to write this column should disturb everyone.
Rape is an act of violence. It is a deeply violating and emotionally traumatic experience for victims of sexual assault. But shame and fear keep many from reporting it, and talking about it can be almost as bad as the act itself. But lately many have turned it into a joke.
I've lost count of how often I've heard say something to the effect of "[this person] is going to rape you" as an example of dark humor. Now, as I've said before, anything can be the subject of humor, provided it is handled with care and respect ("Family Guy" is a master at this, and has indeed made jokes about rape and incest, among other unsavory topics). But jokes about rape have become so widespread and so frequent that they've become another word for sex, when they are anything but.
I think we, as a society, have lost sight of what rape actually is. One only has to watch "Boys Don't Cry" or "The War Zone" or something like it to see what it really is. Sure, it's a movie, but the effect is the same: we know that it's a painful and terrifying act of cruelty.
Take for example a video of a little boy trying to kiss a little girl. She pushes him away, but he keeps trying to kiss her (you can see the video here). It's really pretty cute. But some are, as a joke, calling it rape, or calling it a warning sign that he is going to be a rapist if its not stopped.
Let's think about this for a second. These two can't be more than what, two? Developmentally, they aren't able to think about what is happening in sexual terms, much less as an act of sexual violence. The little boy likely saw someone doing it and wanted to imitate it. That's normal behavior for a two year old. Sure, the little girl isn't interested in playing along, but calling it rape, or even thinking about it in those terms is both reprehensible and sick. I think that says something more about the viewer than the kids. They probably won't remember doing it. Should the parents pull their kid away? Probably, but only because the little girl is getting annoyed and for the sake of the little boy's rear end.
What is the solution? Censor the stand-up comics and movies that use sexual violence as a source of humor? Absolutely not. It's not going to have any effect and will probably make the problem worse.
The first and most important thing we need to do is get rid of this silly taboo about sex. It's a normal and beautiful (not to mention essential) act of human nature. Once we understand it and no longer fear it, we will be able to discuss rape in more open terms. We need to re-educate people about what rape actually is, and teach them that this is no joke.
Rape is an act of violence. It is a deeply violating and emotionally traumatic experience for victims of sexual assault. But shame and fear keep many from reporting it, and talking about it can be almost as bad as the act itself. But lately many have turned it into a joke.
I've lost count of how often I've heard say something to the effect of "[this person] is going to rape you" as an example of dark humor. Now, as I've said before, anything can be the subject of humor, provided it is handled with care and respect ("Family Guy" is a master at this, and has indeed made jokes about rape and incest, among other unsavory topics). But jokes about rape have become so widespread and so frequent that they've become another word for sex, when they are anything but.
I think we, as a society, have lost sight of what rape actually is. One only has to watch "Boys Don't Cry" or "The War Zone" or something like it to see what it really is. Sure, it's a movie, but the effect is the same: we know that it's a painful and terrifying act of cruelty.
Take for example a video of a little boy trying to kiss a little girl. She pushes him away, but he keeps trying to kiss her (you can see the video here). It's really pretty cute. But some are, as a joke, calling it rape, or calling it a warning sign that he is going to be a rapist if its not stopped.
Let's think about this for a second. These two can't be more than what, two? Developmentally, they aren't able to think about what is happening in sexual terms, much less as an act of sexual violence. The little boy likely saw someone doing it and wanted to imitate it. That's normal behavior for a two year old. Sure, the little girl isn't interested in playing along, but calling it rape, or even thinking about it in those terms is both reprehensible and sick. I think that says something more about the viewer than the kids. They probably won't remember doing it. Should the parents pull their kid away? Probably, but only because the little girl is getting annoyed and for the sake of the little boy's rear end.
What is the solution? Censor the stand-up comics and movies that use sexual violence as a source of humor? Absolutely not. It's not going to have any effect and will probably make the problem worse.
The first and most important thing we need to do is get rid of this silly taboo about sex. It's a normal and beautiful (not to mention essential) act of human nature. Once we understand it and no longer fear it, we will be able to discuss rape in more open terms. We need to re-educate people about what rape actually is, and teach them that this is no joke.
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