The Lone Ranger
2/4
Starring: Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, William Fitchner, Tom Wilkinson, Helena Bonham Carter, Mason Elston Cook, James Badge Dale
Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Intense Action and Violence, and Some Suggestive Material
News reports can't seem to stop talking about how poorly Disney's new movie, "The Lone Ranger," is doing at the box office. While box office isn't necessarily tied to quality ("Speed Racer" was a huge loss for Warner Brothers, as was "Green Lantern"), it is in this case. "The Lone Ranger isn't a bad movie per se, it's just relentlessly mediocre.
A young boy (Cook) is wandering through a museum at a fair when he comes across a mannequin of Tonto, the sidekick to the legendary hero The Lone Ranger. But as the boy finds out, the mannequin is not made of wax, but is in fact the real Tonto. Tonto begins to recount one of his exploits with John Reid (Hammer), who would become the masked hero.
John is coming home from the city to the small town where his brother, lawman Dan Reid (Dale). Also on the train are Butch Cavendish (Fitchner), an outlaw and Tonto (Depp), a Comanche Indian. Butch's gang springs their leader from the train, which derails at the very spot where railroad tycoon is commemorating the joining of the Transcontinental Railroad (echoes of countless other Westerns). Dan enlists his brother as a Texas Ranger, and they go offto find Cavendish to bring him to justice. But the quest fails utterly, with everyone being killed. Fortunately, Tonto comes across the carnage and his horse raises John from the dead (much to Tonto's irritation, since he prefers Dan). John is now The Lone Ranger, and the two of them get pulled into an adventure involving Indian mysticism, business, and lots of cursed rocks.
Not only is the story lame, it doesn't make a lot of sense. This is especially curious since the writers are Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio, who wrote the "Pirates of the Carribean" movies, and Justin Haythe, who wrote the script for "Revolutionary Road." Studio interference anyone?
The acting is surprisingly weak. Johnny Depp is an acting legend and Armie Hammer is a promising new talent. Sadly, neither one of them creates a memorable character. With Depp's case, it's more along the lines of the character being poorly written and him having almost nothing to do (consider what "Pirates of the Carribean" did for Captain Jack Sparrow). Armie Hammer suffers from a similar fate, although there's more to it than that. Whether the actor misinterprets the character or is miscast, Hammer is not a good fit for The Lone Ranger. William Fitchner, the chameleon that he is, disappers into the character of Butch Cavendish to the point that I could hardly tell it was the same guy who played Sully in "The Perfect Storm" or Roger Van Zant in "Heat" (both infintely better films than this one. Even worse, the talents of both Helena Bonham Carter and Tom Wilkinson are utterly wasted. Their efforts are thankless (hopefully they were well paid, and with a bloated $250 million budget, they better have been).
Clearly, Disney hoped for another blockbuster franchise. Take the director and star of their previous big name series, dip into a genre that has been fertile ground for the director (Gore Verbinski won an Oscar, albeit undeservedly, for "Rango"), and put it all into a brand name that is beloved by older audiences, and you have a recipe for a hit.
Or so they thought. The resulting film is lackluster in every sense of the word. The characters are boring. The story is messy, derivative and lame. The action scenes are too few and far between, and even worse, they're little fun. Ditto for effective comedy (not only isn't it especially funny, it's not there). But the most obvious thing missing is a lack of heart. With the "Pirates of the Carribean" movies, everyone involved seemed to be fully invested in the project, as if they would have done it for free just so they could tell the story and revisit the characters. Here, everyone seems to be going through the motions. No one seems to care about the project except Disney, who clearly only wants a big payday. Even Jerry Bruckheimer, the uber-producer that he is, doesn't seem that interested in promoting it (the hype around the film is minimal, despite the prevalence of cutouts at movie theaters and the occasional news article). Not surprised.
Starring: Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, William Fitchner, Tom Wilkinson, Helena Bonham Carter, Mason Elston Cook, James Badge Dale
Rated PG-13 for Sequences of Intense Action and Violence, and Some Suggestive Material
News reports can't seem to stop talking about how poorly Disney's new movie, "The Lone Ranger," is doing at the box office. While box office isn't necessarily tied to quality ("Speed Racer" was a huge loss for Warner Brothers, as was "Green Lantern"), it is in this case. "The Lone Ranger isn't a bad movie per se, it's just relentlessly mediocre.
A young boy (Cook) is wandering through a museum at a fair when he comes across a mannequin of Tonto, the sidekick to the legendary hero The Lone Ranger. But as the boy finds out, the mannequin is not made of wax, but is in fact the real Tonto. Tonto begins to recount one of his exploits with John Reid (Hammer), who would become the masked hero.
John is coming home from the city to the small town where his brother, lawman Dan Reid (Dale). Also on the train are Butch Cavendish (Fitchner), an outlaw and Tonto (Depp), a Comanche Indian. Butch's gang springs their leader from the train, which derails at the very spot where railroad tycoon is commemorating the joining of the Transcontinental Railroad (echoes of countless other Westerns). Dan enlists his brother as a Texas Ranger, and they go offto find Cavendish to bring him to justice. But the quest fails utterly, with everyone being killed. Fortunately, Tonto comes across the carnage and his horse raises John from the dead (much to Tonto's irritation, since he prefers Dan). John is now The Lone Ranger, and the two of them get pulled into an adventure involving Indian mysticism, business, and lots of cursed rocks.
Not only is the story lame, it doesn't make a lot of sense. This is especially curious since the writers are Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio, who wrote the "Pirates of the Carribean" movies, and Justin Haythe, who wrote the script for "Revolutionary Road." Studio interference anyone?
The acting is surprisingly weak. Johnny Depp is an acting legend and Armie Hammer is a promising new talent. Sadly, neither one of them creates a memorable character. With Depp's case, it's more along the lines of the character being poorly written and him having almost nothing to do (consider what "Pirates of the Carribean" did for Captain Jack Sparrow). Armie Hammer suffers from a similar fate, although there's more to it than that. Whether the actor misinterprets the character or is miscast, Hammer is not a good fit for The Lone Ranger. William Fitchner, the chameleon that he is, disappers into the character of Butch Cavendish to the point that I could hardly tell it was the same guy who played Sully in "The Perfect Storm" or Roger Van Zant in "Heat" (both infintely better films than this one. Even worse, the talents of both Helena Bonham Carter and Tom Wilkinson are utterly wasted. Their efforts are thankless (hopefully they were well paid, and with a bloated $250 million budget, they better have been).
Clearly, Disney hoped for another blockbuster franchise. Take the director and star of their previous big name series, dip into a genre that has been fertile ground for the director (Gore Verbinski won an Oscar, albeit undeservedly, for "Rango"), and put it all into a brand name that is beloved by older audiences, and you have a recipe for a hit.
Or so they thought. The resulting film is lackluster in every sense of the word. The characters are boring. The story is messy, derivative and lame. The action scenes are too few and far between, and even worse, they're little fun. Ditto for effective comedy (not only isn't it especially funny, it's not there). But the most obvious thing missing is a lack of heart. With the "Pirates of the Carribean" movies, everyone involved seemed to be fully invested in the project, as if they would have done it for free just so they could tell the story and revisit the characters. Here, everyone seems to be going through the motions. No one seems to care about the project except Disney, who clearly only wants a big payday. Even Jerry Bruckheimer, the uber-producer that he is, doesn't seem that interested in promoting it (the hype around the film is minimal, despite the prevalence of cutouts at movie theaters and the occasional news article). Not surprised.
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