The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
0.5/4
Starring: Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Paul A. Pertain, Allen Danzinger, William Vail, Terry McMinn
Rated R (probably for Strong Violence and Gore)
Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is one of the most famous slasher movies ever made. Made for a little more than $80,000, it terrified audiences upon its release. I remember my mother telling me about how when she saw it with her girlfriend at the drive in; she recalled watching Leatherface chase Sally Hardesty (Burns) through the woods and listening to the guys they were with shout "Kill her! Kill her!" while she and her friend sat terrified in-between them. Needless to say my dad was not among them.
So as a film critic, it is a must that I see this film at some point. I was surprised at what I found. Not only has it aged like stinky cheese, it's impossible to see how anyone could find this movie the least bit scary. It fails just about every rule of a horror movie, and then some. In the end, it's all just a bunch of noise that serves no purpose.
A group of friends, including the unfortunate Sally, are driving through Texas one afternoon. Someone has dug up a few graves and made a gruesome sculpture (director Tobe Hooper missed a fine opportunity to take a potshot at Andy Warhol with this), and Sally and her brother Franklin (Pertain) want to make sure that their relative's remains are intact. Then they continue on their way to a house that they own, which turns out to be a dilapidated mess that should have been condemned long ago. That's when a hulking monster who wears a mask made of human skin (later known as Leatherface, played here by Gunnar Hansen) shows up to add some new members to the local cemetery.
The film's biggest problem is that there's not enough story to sustain a 90 minute feature, and Tobe Hooper extends the "big" scenes (which aren't that intense to begin with) long past being effective. For example, during the big chase scene between Sally and Leatherface, Hooper switches between the two for about 60 seconds without adding anything new. Or when Pam (McMinn) stumbles into a gruesome room; Hooper spends about 30 seconds showing us clips of what she sees in there even though one or two moments would have done the trick.
The second problem is that every single character is completely devoid of personality. And I don't mean like in a lame action movie. Like I mean, they make non-famous people in political cartoons seem three-dimensional. It is crucial to any horror movie that we form a bond with the characters, otherwise there's no suspense. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" doesn't even come within a mile of this.
Then there's the utter lack of atmosphere. There is a big difference between not being able to see everything, and not being able to see anything. The former demands that we use our imagination, which hopefully under the circumstances is going haywire. The latter just pisses us off. Take a guess which side this movie falls under.
So you see, Hooper and his screenwriter Kim Henkel completely botched what could have been a terrifying experience. The film was remade in 2003 by Marcus Nispel, who made the wretched "Pathfinder" remake and the "Conan the Barbarian" remake, which wasn't much better. Here's to hoping it's better than this. It's hard to imagine it being worse...
Starring: Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Paul A. Pertain, Allen Danzinger, William Vail, Terry McMinn
Rated R (probably for Strong Violence and Gore)
Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is one of the most famous slasher movies ever made. Made for a little more than $80,000, it terrified audiences upon its release. I remember my mother telling me about how when she saw it with her girlfriend at the drive in; she recalled watching Leatherface chase Sally Hardesty (Burns) through the woods and listening to the guys they were with shout "Kill her! Kill her!" while she and her friend sat terrified in-between them. Needless to say my dad was not among them.
So as a film critic, it is a must that I see this film at some point. I was surprised at what I found. Not only has it aged like stinky cheese, it's impossible to see how anyone could find this movie the least bit scary. It fails just about every rule of a horror movie, and then some. In the end, it's all just a bunch of noise that serves no purpose.
A group of friends, including the unfortunate Sally, are driving through Texas one afternoon. Someone has dug up a few graves and made a gruesome sculpture (director Tobe Hooper missed a fine opportunity to take a potshot at Andy Warhol with this), and Sally and her brother Franklin (Pertain) want to make sure that their relative's remains are intact. Then they continue on their way to a house that they own, which turns out to be a dilapidated mess that should have been condemned long ago. That's when a hulking monster who wears a mask made of human skin (later known as Leatherface, played here by Gunnar Hansen) shows up to add some new members to the local cemetery.
The film's biggest problem is that there's not enough story to sustain a 90 minute feature, and Tobe Hooper extends the "big" scenes (which aren't that intense to begin with) long past being effective. For example, during the big chase scene between Sally and Leatherface, Hooper switches between the two for about 60 seconds without adding anything new. Or when Pam (McMinn) stumbles into a gruesome room; Hooper spends about 30 seconds showing us clips of what she sees in there even though one or two moments would have done the trick.
The second problem is that every single character is completely devoid of personality. And I don't mean like in a lame action movie. Like I mean, they make non-famous people in political cartoons seem three-dimensional. It is crucial to any horror movie that we form a bond with the characters, otherwise there's no suspense. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" doesn't even come within a mile of this.
Then there's the utter lack of atmosphere. There is a big difference between not being able to see everything, and not being able to see anything. The former demands that we use our imagination, which hopefully under the circumstances is going haywire. The latter just pisses us off. Take a guess which side this movie falls under.
So you see, Hooper and his screenwriter Kim Henkel completely botched what could have been a terrifying experience. The film was remade in 2003 by Marcus Nispel, who made the wretched "Pathfinder" remake and the "Conan the Barbarian" remake, which wasn't much better. Here's to hoping it's better than this. It's hard to imagine it being worse...
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