Ouija
1.5/4
Starring: Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto, Daren Kagasoff, Bianca Santos, Douglas Smith, Shelly Hennig, Lin Shaye
Rated PG-13 for Disturbing Violent Content, Frightening Horror Images and Thematic Material
"Ouija" exists for one reason only: to extract money from texting tweens who pay more attention to what they read on social media than what's on screen. It's the ultimate paper tiger; there's nothing here. It's all marketing and branding. And with Michael Bay producing it, you know he's going to make sure that every teen has to see this movie or risk being out of the loop.
The story, for anyone who cares, is about a group of stupid teenagers who learn that trying to contact the spirit realm generally isn't a good idea (haven't any of them seen any horror movies?). A pretty blonde girl named Debbie (Hennig) has just killed herself. Her friends, led by the adult-like Laine (Cooke), decide that using her old Ouija board to contact her is the best opportunity to find out why and to say their goodbyes. Smart move. Naturally, creepy (a term I use loosely) things start happening, and they're all in danger.
Yawn. While it's true that stories are less important than the skill that is used in the telling (compare "Halloween" to any garden variety slasher), "Ouija" has an especially lame plot. Even worse, it doesn't kick in until the movie is half over. The first half is a look at the grief process involving the teenagers, which would have been fine, had it been better written and acted. For those who are looking for a movie along those lines, Todd Field's "In the Bedroom" is an excellent choice (about grief, not ghosts and movies based on anything with a "known name").
As is the case with most horror movies, the characters are both stupid and boring. The only one of them who is of any interest in Laine, and that's primarily because she's in almost every scene. No one else can hold the camera's attention, let alone ours. Lin Shaye, who after the "Insidious" movies is becoming more famous for horror movies than her nude scene in "There's Something About Mary," also makes an appearance, but while she's the most interesting character in the film, that's not saying much.
After the "Transformers" franchise, Michael Bay has become a popular whipping boy. Yes, they're stupid and kind of dull, but not nearly as bad as everyone says. I've resisted getting on taking part in Michael Bay beatdowns because I know what he's capable of, but my resistance is waning. Not that he cares; Bay is one of the most successful directors working in Hollywood because he knows how to target teenage boys from around the world. Still, I can't help but wonder what it he could accomplish if he would put his energy into a worthwhile project,
Starring: Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto, Daren Kagasoff, Bianca Santos, Douglas Smith, Shelly Hennig, Lin Shaye
Rated PG-13 for Disturbing Violent Content, Frightening Horror Images and Thematic Material
"Ouija" exists for one reason only: to extract money from texting tweens who pay more attention to what they read on social media than what's on screen. It's the ultimate paper tiger; there's nothing here. It's all marketing and branding. And with Michael Bay producing it, you know he's going to make sure that every teen has to see this movie or risk being out of the loop.
The story, for anyone who cares, is about a group of stupid teenagers who learn that trying to contact the spirit realm generally isn't a good idea (haven't any of them seen any horror movies?). A pretty blonde girl named Debbie (Hennig) has just killed herself. Her friends, led by the adult-like Laine (Cooke), decide that using her old Ouija board to contact her is the best opportunity to find out why and to say their goodbyes. Smart move. Naturally, creepy (a term I use loosely) things start happening, and they're all in danger.
Yawn. While it's true that stories are less important than the skill that is used in the telling (compare "Halloween" to any garden variety slasher), "Ouija" has an especially lame plot. Even worse, it doesn't kick in until the movie is half over. The first half is a look at the grief process involving the teenagers, which would have been fine, had it been better written and acted. For those who are looking for a movie along those lines, Todd Field's "In the Bedroom" is an excellent choice (about grief, not ghosts and movies based on anything with a "known name").
As is the case with most horror movies, the characters are both stupid and boring. The only one of them who is of any interest in Laine, and that's primarily because she's in almost every scene. No one else can hold the camera's attention, let alone ours. Lin Shaye, who after the "Insidious" movies is becoming more famous for horror movies than her nude scene in "There's Something About Mary," also makes an appearance, but while she's the most interesting character in the film, that's not saying much.
After the "Transformers" franchise, Michael Bay has become a popular whipping boy. Yes, they're stupid and kind of dull, but not nearly as bad as everyone says. I've resisted getting on taking part in Michael Bay beatdowns because I know what he's capable of, but my resistance is waning. Not that he cares; Bay is one of the most successful directors working in Hollywood because he knows how to target teenage boys from around the world. Still, I can't help but wonder what it he could accomplish if he would put his energy into a worthwhile project,
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