The Family
0.5/4
Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo, Tommy Lee Jones
Rated R for Violence, Language and Brief Sexuality
"The Family" is a complete disaster.
It is amazing how often this movie misfires. And how badly. Apart from a few (I counted four) amusing moments, there isn't a single element that works. It's so bad that I am in awe. With some movies, like "Strangeland," it's not really a surprise if the movie turns out to be shit. But this movie stars three legendary actors and is directed by Luc Besson, a French filmmaker who knows what he's doing. Then again, so does Robert Redford, and he made "The Conspirator," which is just as bad.
The Manzoni family used to be part of the mafia in New York. But after Giovanni (De Niro) became a rat, they went into the Witness Protection program. They've had trouble adjusting to civilian life, so they've been relocated for the umpteenth time. Now they're the Blake family. Giovanni is now Fred, his wife is Maggie (Pfeiffer), and his children are now named Belle (Agron) and Warren (D'Leo). Of course, old habits die hard, and their handler, a gruff man named Stansfield (Jones), points out that unless they get their act together, it's only a matter of time before the mafia finds out where they are and tries to finish the job.
This could have been a great black comedy: an ex-Mafia family tries to survive in a small French town the only way they know how. But the jokes are so weak that I missed them, and the script is a mess. It's badly organized and the story is all over the place. Putting it simply, it's not a well-put together motion picture.
The acting doesn't help matters. Both Robert De Niro and Tommy Lee Jones are in "take the money and run" mode. They know the movie is shit, and just want to earn their money. Michelle Pfieffer, who is in far too few movies these days, gives it a game try, but there's little that she can do. She tries so hard that I felt bad for her. Dianna Agron appears lost, while John D'Leo has the closest thing to a personality, but is let down by the script and a lack of screen presence.
There are so many problems with the movie that if you were to name one and say that it was the final nail in the coffin, you'd be right. In addition to having a disaster for a script, the film is shockingly unfunny. I mean, it's like totally unfunny. Is it supposed to be funny to watch Robert De Niro track down who is responsible for the brown water in his house and torture anyone who tries to screw him over? It sounds like something straight out of a Wes Anderson movie, and that's not a good place to be.
Then the film commits character assassination. At the beginning of the film, the Blake family are a quartet of badasses, but when things get tough, they turn into wusses. What the hell? These lived the mafia life? Bull.
There was such a great opportunity here. Mob movies have always been big, with some of them ranking as being among the best films ever made ("The Godfather," "Goodfellas," etc.). It was about time that someone skewered the genre (there was a "Godfather" spoof called "Mafia!" made in 1998, but I don't think anyone saw it).
With all of this talent, I had a right to expect more. A LOT more.
Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo, Tommy Lee Jones
Rated R for Violence, Language and Brief Sexuality
"The Family" is a complete disaster.
It is amazing how often this movie misfires. And how badly. Apart from a few (I counted four) amusing moments, there isn't a single element that works. It's so bad that I am in awe. With some movies, like "Strangeland," it's not really a surprise if the movie turns out to be shit. But this movie stars three legendary actors and is directed by Luc Besson, a French filmmaker who knows what he's doing. Then again, so does Robert Redford, and he made "The Conspirator," which is just as bad.
The Manzoni family used to be part of the mafia in New York. But after Giovanni (De Niro) became a rat, they went into the Witness Protection program. They've had trouble adjusting to civilian life, so they've been relocated for the umpteenth time. Now they're the Blake family. Giovanni is now Fred, his wife is Maggie (Pfeiffer), and his children are now named Belle (Agron) and Warren (D'Leo). Of course, old habits die hard, and their handler, a gruff man named Stansfield (Jones), points out that unless they get their act together, it's only a matter of time before the mafia finds out where they are and tries to finish the job.
This could have been a great black comedy: an ex-Mafia family tries to survive in a small French town the only way they know how. But the jokes are so weak that I missed them, and the script is a mess. It's badly organized and the story is all over the place. Putting it simply, it's not a well-put together motion picture.
The acting doesn't help matters. Both Robert De Niro and Tommy Lee Jones are in "take the money and run" mode. They know the movie is shit, and just want to earn their money. Michelle Pfieffer, who is in far too few movies these days, gives it a game try, but there's little that she can do. She tries so hard that I felt bad for her. Dianna Agron appears lost, while John D'Leo has the closest thing to a personality, but is let down by the script and a lack of screen presence.
There are so many problems with the movie that if you were to name one and say that it was the final nail in the coffin, you'd be right. In addition to having a disaster for a script, the film is shockingly unfunny. I mean, it's like totally unfunny. Is it supposed to be funny to watch Robert De Niro track down who is responsible for the brown water in his house and torture anyone who tries to screw him over? It sounds like something straight out of a Wes Anderson movie, and that's not a good place to be.
Then the film commits character assassination. At the beginning of the film, the Blake family are a quartet of badasses, but when things get tough, they turn into wusses. What the hell? These lived the mafia life? Bull.
There was such a great opportunity here. Mob movies have always been big, with some of them ranking as being among the best films ever made ("The Godfather," "Goodfellas," etc.). It was about time that someone skewered the genre (there was a "Godfather" spoof called "Mafia!" made in 1998, but I don't think anyone saw it).
With all of this talent, I had a right to expect more. A LOT more.
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