The Hitman's Bodyguard
2/4
Starring: Ryan Reynolds. Samuel L. Jackson, Elodie Young, Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Joaquim de Almeida
Rated R for Strong Violence and Language Throughout
"The Hitman's Bodyguard" is a throwback to the days of "Lethal Weapon," where the charisma of mismatched buddies and ridiculous, over-the-top action sequences drove in audiences by the millions. Explosions, shoot outs, and of course, the one-liners, all that stuff. Essentially, the action movies before the superhero frenzy took hold and began clogging up the entire genre. Given how much I bemoan the genre (oversaturation doesn't do it justice), you'd think I'd celebrate a retro movie like "The Hitman's Bodyguard." I'd like to, but the movie just isn't that good.
Belarusian dictator Vladislav Dukhovich (Oldman) is on trial for his crimes, which include murder and genocide. Despite damning and emotional testimony, there's little hard evidence that proves he was behind it all. The one witness to his atrocities is a notorious hitman named Darius Kincaid (Jackson). In exchange for his testimony, his illegally imprisoned wife Sonia (Hayek) will go free and he will be given "leniency" in his sentencing. The problem is getting him to the Hague, since Dukhovich has plenty of goons who will go to any means to prevent him from getting to Amsterdam. After his caravan is attacked, a sexy Interpol agent, Amelia Roussel (Young), realizes that there's a mole in the investigation, and that to make sure Kincaid arrives in one piece, a new plan is needed. She calls her ex, a disgraced bodyguard named Michael Bryce (Reynolds) to do the job. He doesn't want it, since he blames Amelia for his fall from grace, and Kincaid has tried to kill him previously. On numerous occasions.
Watching this movie, I got the sense that director Patrick Hughes is throwing everything he can think of at the screen and hoping something works. The problem is that too little of it does. It's a mishmash of conflicting ideas, flat action and tepid humor. For example, when you have a movie about a genocidal dictator and you add one-liners and jokes, it's enough to make someone squirmy. Even aside from a PC-interpretation of the film's plot, the movie still doesn't work. The action scenes aren't exciting and the jokes only occasionally elicit a chuckle, and rarely a full-bellied laugh. Compare this to something like "The Rock" or "True Lies," and it really comes up short.
The two leads are fine, although there is no denying that Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are far too good for this B-list script. Ever the professionals, they at least have the good sense to give it their all (had they walked through it, it would have been painful...just look at Gary Oldman, who has never been this bad in his entire career). Reynolds is perfectly fine playing the straight man to Jackson, who is thoroughly enjoying himself. Elodie Young is certainly cute, but that's really all her role requires other than wonder frantically where Michael and Kincaid are. Salma Hayek has a lot of fun playing a foul mouthed former cocktail waitress with some mean fighting skills. Joaquim de Almeida has nothing to do but act sleazy (which is something he can do in his sleep, and apparently is).
The weak link, as I mentioned, is Gary Oldman. Oldman is a powerful and versatile actor, but here he's so bad that he seems to be actively trying to sabotage the movie. While he played a truly vicious Russian terrorist in "Air Force One," he's so obviously miscast that I was wondering what idiot actually thought he could do the part (least of all Oldman, since he signed the dotted line and collected the paycheck). Fortunately his screen time is limited. Which brings me to my next criticism, which is why cast Oldman when there are plenty of Russian actors who could do the job? This isn't me being politically correct. This is me wondering why they chose Oldman only to use him so badly and so briefly. I can think of three Russian actors who would be more than capable of doing the job, seeing as they've done it before. Rade Serbedzija has essentially monopolized the Russian gangster character, but Aleksandr Baluyev (the psychopathic Russian general from "The Peacemaker") or Marcel Iures (the other villain in that movie) would have been perfectly capable of doing the role. And better.
The action movie, particularly the action-comedy, demands precise construction. It must have breathless energy and perfect comic timing. "The Hitman's Bodyguard" has neither. It has a loose, unorganized feel to it like it was made in a slapdash manner. It's also terribly filmed, with a sterile, clinical feel to it and some scenes that are so badly filmed that they seem fuzzy and indistinct. I thought that the theater's lens was foggy.
Although I didn't like it, I'm kind of glad that this movie is doing good business. Maybe then Hollywood will get back to making movies that don't center on a guy (or girl) fighting crime in spandex.
Starring: Ryan Reynolds. Samuel L. Jackson, Elodie Young, Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Joaquim de Almeida
Rated R for Strong Violence and Language Throughout
"The Hitman's Bodyguard" is a throwback to the days of "Lethal Weapon," where the charisma of mismatched buddies and ridiculous, over-the-top action sequences drove in audiences by the millions. Explosions, shoot outs, and of course, the one-liners, all that stuff. Essentially, the action movies before the superhero frenzy took hold and began clogging up the entire genre. Given how much I bemoan the genre (oversaturation doesn't do it justice), you'd think I'd celebrate a retro movie like "The Hitman's Bodyguard." I'd like to, but the movie just isn't that good.
Belarusian dictator Vladislav Dukhovich (Oldman) is on trial for his crimes, which include murder and genocide. Despite damning and emotional testimony, there's little hard evidence that proves he was behind it all. The one witness to his atrocities is a notorious hitman named Darius Kincaid (Jackson). In exchange for his testimony, his illegally imprisoned wife Sonia (Hayek) will go free and he will be given "leniency" in his sentencing. The problem is getting him to the Hague, since Dukhovich has plenty of goons who will go to any means to prevent him from getting to Amsterdam. After his caravan is attacked, a sexy Interpol agent, Amelia Roussel (Young), realizes that there's a mole in the investigation, and that to make sure Kincaid arrives in one piece, a new plan is needed. She calls her ex, a disgraced bodyguard named Michael Bryce (Reynolds) to do the job. He doesn't want it, since he blames Amelia for his fall from grace, and Kincaid has tried to kill him previously. On numerous occasions.
Watching this movie, I got the sense that director Patrick Hughes is throwing everything he can think of at the screen and hoping something works. The problem is that too little of it does. It's a mishmash of conflicting ideas, flat action and tepid humor. For example, when you have a movie about a genocidal dictator and you add one-liners and jokes, it's enough to make someone squirmy. Even aside from a PC-interpretation of the film's plot, the movie still doesn't work. The action scenes aren't exciting and the jokes only occasionally elicit a chuckle, and rarely a full-bellied laugh. Compare this to something like "The Rock" or "True Lies," and it really comes up short.
The two leads are fine, although there is no denying that Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are far too good for this B-list script. Ever the professionals, they at least have the good sense to give it their all (had they walked through it, it would have been painful...just look at Gary Oldman, who has never been this bad in his entire career). Reynolds is perfectly fine playing the straight man to Jackson, who is thoroughly enjoying himself. Elodie Young is certainly cute, but that's really all her role requires other than wonder frantically where Michael and Kincaid are. Salma Hayek has a lot of fun playing a foul mouthed former cocktail waitress with some mean fighting skills. Joaquim de Almeida has nothing to do but act sleazy (which is something he can do in his sleep, and apparently is).
The weak link, as I mentioned, is Gary Oldman. Oldman is a powerful and versatile actor, but here he's so bad that he seems to be actively trying to sabotage the movie. While he played a truly vicious Russian terrorist in "Air Force One," he's so obviously miscast that I was wondering what idiot actually thought he could do the part (least of all Oldman, since he signed the dotted line and collected the paycheck). Fortunately his screen time is limited. Which brings me to my next criticism, which is why cast Oldman when there are plenty of Russian actors who could do the job? This isn't me being politically correct. This is me wondering why they chose Oldman only to use him so badly and so briefly. I can think of three Russian actors who would be more than capable of doing the job, seeing as they've done it before. Rade Serbedzija has essentially monopolized the Russian gangster character, but Aleksandr Baluyev (the psychopathic Russian general from "The Peacemaker") or Marcel Iures (the other villain in that movie) would have been perfectly capable of doing the role. And better.
The action movie, particularly the action-comedy, demands precise construction. It must have breathless energy and perfect comic timing. "The Hitman's Bodyguard" has neither. It has a loose, unorganized feel to it like it was made in a slapdash manner. It's also terribly filmed, with a sterile, clinical feel to it and some scenes that are so badly filmed that they seem fuzzy and indistinct. I thought that the theater's lens was foggy.
Although I didn't like it, I'm kind of glad that this movie is doing good business. Maybe then Hollywood will get back to making movies that don't center on a guy (or girl) fighting crime in spandex.
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