Armed & Dangerous
1/4
Starring: John Candy, Eugene Levy, Meg Ryan, Robert Loggia, James Tolkin, Kenneth McMillen
Rated PG-13 (probably for Violence, Language and Sexual Content)
It's hard to imagine any movie starring John Candy and Eugene Levy, two brilliant comic talents, being altogether bad. Which makes "Armed and Dangerous" all the more astonishing because it's absolutely terrible. No wonder Harold Ramis wanted his name removed from the film (only his producing credit is gone...he's still credited as a writer).
Frank Dooley (Candy) and Norman Kane (Levy) are both out of a job. Dooley is a cop who was set up as a thief while Norm is a lawyer whose fear of his lunatic client causes a judge to make him leave his profession. They both end up working at Guard Dog Security Company as security guards. But it isn't long before they realize that their boss (McMillen) and union leader are crooked. Now the two are on the case!
This is a hopeless story. I'm never one to bash a movie for using a formula plot, but there is such a lack of energy and thought that calling it brain-dead would be a compliment. It's so tired and banal that calling it "written by committee" would be a compliment. It piles on cliche after cliche after cliche. Even counting down the cliches we have seen in a million other "buddy cop" movies fails to stave off boredom.
Honestly, the only thing keeping this movie on life support (calling it "alive" would be a lie) is that it's impossible for John Candy and Eugene Levy to appear on screen and not get a single laugh. They're two of the funniest character actors who ever stepped in front of the camera, and they can get a laugh (or at least a grin) simply by walking on screen. They use all of their talents to get laughs (rather than be as gross or as offensive as possible), including body language, facial expressions and comic timing. They even manage to save some of the jokes, although I'm sure that the best lines and gags were improvised. Meg Ryan plays a bimbo and has very little of the sparkle that would make her the romantic comedy queen for more than a decade. Robert Loggia appears to be channeling Robert DeNiro. And James Tolkin shows up to act tough and chomp on a cigar.
I would be lying if I said that "Armed and Dangerous" is completely devoid of mirth. It isn't. There are some chuckle worthy moments sprinkled among the trash, including a scene that has John Candy in drag and Eugene Levy in an S&M outfit that's amusing and there's a lunatic tanker driver in the final chase who adds some manic energy. But such moments are few and far between, and quite frankly, aren't all that special anyway. And the loads of duds are pretty painful. This movie is safe, stale and totally predictable. It shoots so low that not even the story is told very well (recycled as it is).
"Armed and Dangerous" is the 80s gone rancid, and it should have remained there. Dead and buried. Right next to MC Hammer and Milli Vanilli.
Starring: John Candy, Eugene Levy, Meg Ryan, Robert Loggia, James Tolkin, Kenneth McMillen
Rated PG-13 (probably for Violence, Language and Sexual Content)
It's hard to imagine any movie starring John Candy and Eugene Levy, two brilliant comic talents, being altogether bad. Which makes "Armed and Dangerous" all the more astonishing because it's absolutely terrible. No wonder Harold Ramis wanted his name removed from the film (only his producing credit is gone...he's still credited as a writer).
Frank Dooley (Candy) and Norman Kane (Levy) are both out of a job. Dooley is a cop who was set up as a thief while Norm is a lawyer whose fear of his lunatic client causes a judge to make him leave his profession. They both end up working at Guard Dog Security Company as security guards. But it isn't long before they realize that their boss (McMillen) and union leader are crooked. Now the two are on the case!
This is a hopeless story. I'm never one to bash a movie for using a formula plot, but there is such a lack of energy and thought that calling it brain-dead would be a compliment. It's so tired and banal that calling it "written by committee" would be a compliment. It piles on cliche after cliche after cliche. Even counting down the cliches we have seen in a million other "buddy cop" movies fails to stave off boredom.
Honestly, the only thing keeping this movie on life support (calling it "alive" would be a lie) is that it's impossible for John Candy and Eugene Levy to appear on screen and not get a single laugh. They're two of the funniest character actors who ever stepped in front of the camera, and they can get a laugh (or at least a grin) simply by walking on screen. They use all of their talents to get laughs (rather than be as gross or as offensive as possible), including body language, facial expressions and comic timing. They even manage to save some of the jokes, although I'm sure that the best lines and gags were improvised. Meg Ryan plays a bimbo and has very little of the sparkle that would make her the romantic comedy queen for more than a decade. Robert Loggia appears to be channeling Robert DeNiro. And James Tolkin shows up to act tough and chomp on a cigar.
I would be lying if I said that "Armed and Dangerous" is completely devoid of mirth. It isn't. There are some chuckle worthy moments sprinkled among the trash, including a scene that has John Candy in drag and Eugene Levy in an S&M outfit that's amusing and there's a lunatic tanker driver in the final chase who adds some manic energy. But such moments are few and far between, and quite frankly, aren't all that special anyway. And the loads of duds are pretty painful. This movie is safe, stale and totally predictable. It shoots so low that not even the story is told very well (recycled as it is).
"Armed and Dangerous" is the 80s gone rancid, and it should have remained there. Dead and buried. Right next to MC Hammer and Milli Vanilli.
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