Dolittle
1/4
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Harry Collett, Michael Sheen, and the voices of Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland
Rated PG for Some Action, Rude Humor and Brief Language
The advanced word for "Dolittle" was not good, to put it mildly. As if the fact that a big budget franchise-starter starring Robert Downey Jr., arguably the biggest star on the planet, opening in January wasn't reason enough to be wary. So the question of "is it good?" becomes "how bad is it?" The answer? It's bad. It's really, really bad.
Dr. John Dolittle (Downey Jr) is a veterinarian who has the unbelievable ability to converse with animals. So renowned are his abilities that the Queen of England has given him his own sanctuary where he and creatures he has gathered from all over the world live in harmony. But the death of his wife has turned him into a recluse. Two things happen one day that catapult him out of his funk. A young boy named Stubbins (Collett) comes bringing a squirrel he accidentally shot, and a young princess (Carmel Laniado) comes telling him that the queen is sick. He must follow his wife's trail and retrieve a special fruit that will heal her. So he gathers his menagerie of animal friends and the chase is on. Naturally, he is being pursued by a rival (Sheen), who will like nothing better than to steal his thunder.
I could go on for a long time listing the reasons why this movie just doesn't work. One reason is that this movie is never consistent. The film takes place in the age of queens, ships and castles, but at the same time we have a squid who believes that "Snitches get stitches," a polar bear who calls people "bro" (thankfully, he's voiced by Jon Cena and not the Fat Ginger with Glasses who shall not be named...) and a farting dragon. It's hard to remain involved in a movie that never commits to a single plane of reality. The film cheats whenever it needs the next laugh or "character moment." That just goes to show how little care was taken in the making of this movie, as they couldn't be bothered to write a fully thought-out story or complete character arcs (if they bothered to start one). It should come as no surprise that there are five credited screenwriters.
Critics have slammed Robert Downey Jr.'s Welsh accent as a black eye for the film. I honestly didn't have a problem with the accent so much as I had a problem with his character. Downey is too talented to conceivably give a "bad" performance, but he's miscast. He's not eccentric enough. When you have a guy who talks to animals and is going on a globe trotting adventure with enough of them to call the ship a mini-Noah's ark, it's best not to play it straight. Such a character requires some daffy weirdness of Jack Sparrow proportions. In fact, it could be argued that Johnny Depp is the only one who could have possibly played this character. But Depp is off the public's fickle radar and Downey is hunting for a new franchise now that his time as Iron Man is over. Of course, it helps that he and his wife Susan Downey are producers.
The supporting cast is fine, but no one has much to do. They get a huge stack of cash for a few days work, the studio gets another name on the poster, and audiences get a momentary endorphin rush at the recognition. Welcome to the way movies are made in 2020. Of them, Emma Thompson has the most lines but has no actual character to play or even anything interesting to say. Ralph Fiennes provides the best scene in the movie as a vengeful but easily distracted tiger. This is the one scene in the movie that actually has decent writing.
It always surprises me when a movie that cost so much money ($175 million) ends up sucking so much. But this isn't a movie, really. It's a product created by bean counters, market research and brand recognition. It's a creative void. It's a soulless piece of trash designed to extort money from any parent desperate enough to keep their kids occupied for two hours. With such cynical ambitions and so much money, you'd think that they could have invested in a script that was worth the paper it was written on. Co-writer and director Stephen Gaghan (who won an Oscar for writing "Traffic," by the way) once complained, "It's rare in Hollywood to get the chance to work on something you actually care about. The tragedy of the place is all these talented people trying to get excited about stuff they themselves would only view at gunpoint." Watching "Dolittle," I feel his pain.
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Harry Collett, Michael Sheen, and the voices of Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland
Rated PG for Some Action, Rude Humor and Brief Language
The advanced word for "Dolittle" was not good, to put it mildly. As if the fact that a big budget franchise-starter starring Robert Downey Jr., arguably the biggest star on the planet, opening in January wasn't reason enough to be wary. So the question of "is it good?" becomes "how bad is it?" The answer? It's bad. It's really, really bad.
Dr. John Dolittle (Downey Jr) is a veterinarian who has the unbelievable ability to converse with animals. So renowned are his abilities that the Queen of England has given him his own sanctuary where he and creatures he has gathered from all over the world live in harmony. But the death of his wife has turned him into a recluse. Two things happen one day that catapult him out of his funk. A young boy named Stubbins (Collett) comes bringing a squirrel he accidentally shot, and a young princess (Carmel Laniado) comes telling him that the queen is sick. He must follow his wife's trail and retrieve a special fruit that will heal her. So he gathers his menagerie of animal friends and the chase is on. Naturally, he is being pursued by a rival (Sheen), who will like nothing better than to steal his thunder.
I could go on for a long time listing the reasons why this movie just doesn't work. One reason is that this movie is never consistent. The film takes place in the age of queens, ships and castles, but at the same time we have a squid who believes that "Snitches get stitches," a polar bear who calls people "bro" (thankfully, he's voiced by Jon Cena and not the Fat Ginger with Glasses who shall not be named...) and a farting dragon. It's hard to remain involved in a movie that never commits to a single plane of reality. The film cheats whenever it needs the next laugh or "character moment." That just goes to show how little care was taken in the making of this movie, as they couldn't be bothered to write a fully thought-out story or complete character arcs (if they bothered to start one). It should come as no surprise that there are five credited screenwriters.
Critics have slammed Robert Downey Jr.'s Welsh accent as a black eye for the film. I honestly didn't have a problem with the accent so much as I had a problem with his character. Downey is too talented to conceivably give a "bad" performance, but he's miscast. He's not eccentric enough. When you have a guy who talks to animals and is going on a globe trotting adventure with enough of them to call the ship a mini-Noah's ark, it's best not to play it straight. Such a character requires some daffy weirdness of Jack Sparrow proportions. In fact, it could be argued that Johnny Depp is the only one who could have possibly played this character. But Depp is off the public's fickle radar and Downey is hunting for a new franchise now that his time as Iron Man is over. Of course, it helps that he and his wife Susan Downey are producers.
The supporting cast is fine, but no one has much to do. They get a huge stack of cash for a few days work, the studio gets another name on the poster, and audiences get a momentary endorphin rush at the recognition. Welcome to the way movies are made in 2020. Of them, Emma Thompson has the most lines but has no actual character to play or even anything interesting to say. Ralph Fiennes provides the best scene in the movie as a vengeful but easily distracted tiger. This is the one scene in the movie that actually has decent writing.
It always surprises me when a movie that cost so much money ($175 million) ends up sucking so much. But this isn't a movie, really. It's a product created by bean counters, market research and brand recognition. It's a creative void. It's a soulless piece of trash designed to extort money from any parent desperate enough to keep their kids occupied for two hours. With such cynical ambitions and so much money, you'd think that they could have invested in a script that was worth the paper it was written on. Co-writer and director Stephen Gaghan (who won an Oscar for writing "Traffic," by the way) once complained, "It's rare in Hollywood to get the chance to work on something you actually care about. The tragedy of the place is all these talented people trying to get excited about stuff they themselves would only view at gunpoint." Watching "Dolittle," I feel his pain.
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