Primeval

 2/4

Starring: Dominic Purcell, Brooke Langton, Orlando Jones, Jurgen Prochnow, Gideon Emery, Gabriel Malema, Dumisami Mbebe

Rated R for Strong Graphic Violence, Brutality, Terror and Language

"Primeval" is a bizarre mishmash of genres and tones that one struggles to identify just what it wants to be.  It's too serious for a jungle adventure movie and too goofy for a serious look at the Burundi Civil War.  It wants to have its cake and eat it too, and while such a thing is possible ("Blood Diamond" comes to mind), it requires a deftness of touch that eludes Michael Katleman.

After publishing a story that turned out to be wrong, hard news reporter Tim Manfrey (Purcell) has an opportunity for redemption.  A fellow journalist named Aviva Masters (Langton) is on the trail of Gustave, a man-eating crocodile in Burundi, and his assignment is to cover its capture.  He doesn't want the job, but he has no choice.  So with his cameraman Steven Johnson (Jones) tagging along, they head for Central Africa.  After they meet their guide, a borderline nutcase by the name of Jacob Krieg (Prochnow) and a Crocodile Dundee wannabe named Matt Collins (Emery), they head off in search of Gustave.  Naturally, it turns out to be a disaster, with Gustave entering into a competition with the local warlord named, obviously, Little Gustave, for who can earn the highest body count.

For this movie to work, the villains have to be comic book characters.  Bad to the bone villains on par with, say, Salim Abu Aziz from "True Lies."  A monster movie isn't the place for a social conscience.  It's okay to use civil strife to set the stage ("Congo" did this quite effectively), but depth isn't necessary or warranted.  Leave politics and civil war for other, more serious films.  Inserting such material here without giving it proper attention trivializes it.  The constant shift between these two genres is enough to cause whiplash.

Like this film's story, it's easy to see what the actors are going for in their performances.  It is also plain to see that almost none of them succeed.  Dominic Purcell plays the rough and tumble jerk with a heart of gold, but he's no Harrison Ford.  Tim isn't a likable asshole.  He's just an asshole.  And Purcell brings nothing but big muscles to the role.  Tim is boring.  Brooke Langton is just awful.  Not a single line she utters rings true.  Orlando Jones plays the comic relief, and while he's been funny before (remember his cameo in "Office Space"?), he isn't here.  Jurgen Prochnow is on hand for some scenery chewing, which he does as well as anybody.

I'll be the first to admit that Katleman, a TV veteran, does manage to generate some shocks and tension.  Not enough to save the film, but enough to raise the pulse now and again.  But often times those instances are ruined by gimmicks.  Camera shaking, quick cuts, fade to black, fade to white, and so on.  Like a lot of things in this movie, it's easy to see what he is going for, but he misses the mark.  Rather than terror and excitement, it leads to irritation and boredom.

Mention must be made about the level of gore in this movie.  I'll be the first one to defend a movie for using blood and guts to tell its story.  Many movies succeeded because they allowed blood and viscera to fly in all directions.  Here, it doesn't work.  In something this cheesy, it plays against the goofy charm it needs to work.  There's no sense of humor here.  In a movie like "Deep Blue Sea" or "Anaconda," watching someone get snacked on is funny.  In "Primeval," it just feels mean and cynical.  Kinda like the movie itself.