Anaconda


3.5/4

Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde, Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer

Rated PG-13 for Intense Adventure Violence, and for Brief Language and Sensuality

There is no doubt that “Anaconda” is a seriously cheesy movie.  The plot is paper thin, the characters are two-dimensional at best, and the special effects are sometimes ridiculously bad.  And yet, the movie is exciting, scary…and funny.  I have no qualms about admitting that I highly enjoyed this thrill ride.

A young anthropologist named Dr. Steven Cale (Stoltz) has just hired an old flame, Terri Flores (Lopez) to direct a documentary about a lost tribe that he is studying.  The crew includes Danny the cameraman (Ice Cube), the pompous and egotistic narrator, Warren Westridge (Hyde), Gary the sound guy (Wilson) and his squeeze, Denise the production manager (Wuhrer).  Things get off to a solid start, but then they find a man stranded on the riverbank.  Being the helpful people that they are, they volunteer to take this man, Paul Sarone (Voight), to the next village.  And that’s when things start to go wrong…VERY WRONG!

The bottom line is that this movie is a lot of fun.  All the actors do their jobs, especially Jon Voight.  Paul Sarone is a nasty piece of work.  With a constant sneer and a gift for persuading people to do what he wants without them realizing it (reverse psychology at its best), Sarone is both creepy and dangerous.  Everyone on board would like nothing better than to throw him over the side and run, but he helpfully reminds them that they need him to get out of there alive.

I’m not particularly afraid of snakes, but I suppose that’s because I’ve never seen any that are over 40 feet long and include humans as a part of their diet.  Of course, there are no such snakes in real life, but who cares?  These snakes are truly badass.  They’re tough, intelligent monsters whose screams are just as chilling as their looks.  A caption at the beginning helpfully tells us that they eat their prey then regurgitate it so they can eat it again.  Very cool.

It’s always nice to see a director who knows exactly what he’s doing behind the camera.  He makes “Anaconda” an affectionate parody of the monster movie genre, and a legitimate entry.  The film oozes atmosphere (Bill Butler’s cinematography is truly dazzling, and Randy Edelman’s score is both intoxicating and frightening), and it’s impossible not to recognize all the monster movie clichés.  Surprisingly, they still work.

The performances go a long way towards the movie’s success.  The actors play their roles straight, but it’s obvious that they’re winking at the same time.  For example, Jennifer Lopez appears earnest and tough, yet vulnerable.  It’s good for the character, but Lopez takes it a smidge farther than she would if she were playing it completely straight.  Ice Cube is on hand for comic relief, but his gangsta performance makes him a different sort of sidekick.  Jonathan Hyde makes for a good snobby narrator, showing more range than the stiff Brit role he is usually given. Owen Wilson is adequate, but Kari Wuhrer is flat; fortunately though, neither one of them is bad enough to ruin the movie.

John Wilson, founder of the Golden Raspberry Awards (given to the worst movies of the year), said it was one of the 100 Most Enjoyably bad movies ever made.  There’s some merit to this point of view; it’s cheesy enough to fit amongst movies of that ilk.  But I think there are many who will be surprised at how caught up they will get in this movie.  Whatever you’re point of view, it’s a 90 minute trip that is definitely worth taking.

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