X

 1.5/4

Starring: Mia Goth, Jenna Ortega, Brittany Snow, Kid Cudi, Martin Henderson, Owen Campbell, Stephen Ure

Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence and Gore, Strong Sexual Content, Graphic Nudity, Drug Use, and Language

I admit that I was looking forward to this movie.  I love a good slasher as much as the next horror fan, and unless they are a remake or a sequel to "Scream," we don't get enough of those anymore.  I was also excited because it was written and directed by Ti West, who has shown tremendous talent for the horror genre in the past.  Alas, it was not to be.

Six people are going to a Texas farmhouse to film a zero budget porno they hope will bring them fame and fortune.  Behind the camera are Wayne (Henderson) who is the financier, RJ (Campbell) is the director looking to make a "serious" porn flick and Lorraine (Ortega), who handles the A/V.  In front of the camera are the two leading ladies, Maxine (Goth) and Bobby-Lynn (Snow) and the war hero Jackson (Cudi).  Unfortunately for them, the farmhouse they are filming in is owned by a decrepit married couple who have a lot in common with Leatherface and his family.

"X" is divided into two parts, each just as banal and boring as the other.  The first part is like a low-rent skin flick and chock full of sex and nudity.  Kudos to the actors for their courage and dedication to the film; there's almost nothing that they don't show.  It has its amusing moments, but the dread doesn't build and it's overlong.  None of the characters are developed enough to feel anything for.  I fault the writing because the cast is giving it their all.  Brittany Snow in particular is good as the sassy Bobby-Lynn, easily stealing every scene she's in.  Once that's over, the film turns into a bloodbath with blood and body parts flying everywhere.  But there's no sense of payoff.  There's no tension or visceral satisfaction that good slashers provide.  It's meaningless.

This is a huge step backward for Ti West.  His filmography gives cause for optimism.  "The House of the Devil" is deliciously eerie and his follow-up, "The Innkeepers," is genuinely frightening.  But he has gone way, way, wrong with this stinker.  The problem is easy to identify: he doesn't know what he wants his film to be.  Is "X" an homage to 70's slashers like "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?"  A parody?  A straight horror film?  West tries to make it all three consequently it is none of them.

Watching "X" is a frustrating experience when it's not just plain dull.  There are isolated moments that do work (including one that literally made me jump) and one of the death scenes is especially nasty.  But usually it's just watching West throw everything at the screen and hoping it works.  Too little of it does, however, and the film becomes a waste of time.  This is a movie that needed a consistent vision all the way through.

Avoid "X."  It's not scary.  It's not funny.  It's not anything.

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