The Tattooist
2/4
Starring: Jason Behr, Mia Blake, Robbie Magasiva, David Pane, Nathaniel Lees
Rated R for Violence, Disturbing Images, Language and Brief Sexuality
"The Tattooist" is an intriguing mix of tattoos, ghost stories and buried secrets. Kind of like a Samoan "Stir of Echoes." The story, while a tad on the thin side, is reasonably involving, the special effects are inventive and visually dazzling. So why am I not recommending this film? Because the performance by the lead actor is the worst example of acting that I've ever seen.
The lead role is played by Jason Behr, a TV actor best known for playing one of the leads on the cult TV show "Roswell," is stupendously bad as the tattooist who goes messing around in things that he shouldn't. Behr is supposed to play a low-key everyman, which is more difficult than it sounds, but Behr speaks in an internalized monotone with a constant scowl and scrunched up face (and too much eye-liner). Instead of being an individual we can sympathize with, Jake Sawyer (as he is called) is a lifeless automaton. I kept waiting for the spirit to kill him with the fatal tattoo and let someone else take center stage. Behr is surrounded by a decent cast, but that can't save this ex-tween star from tanking the film. At least Lorenzo Lamas had an excuse for his wretched work in "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus." That was meant to be an Ed Wood-ish movie. Not that it helped him, but never mind.
Jake, as we learn, is the best tattooist in the world. His work is truly beautiful, and his talents are in high demand. He'll also do anything for a quick buck, including stealing designs, beliefs and tools from other cultures for his own monetary gain. This last bit is what gets him into trouble. He spies a Samoan ceremony getting underway, and he intends to steal their designs. He also steals one of their tattooing tools, which looks like a miniature rake. That's when he starts having weird nightmares and strange visions. He gets creeped out and tries to return the tool, but the damage is done. Everyone he tattoos ends up getting more lines than they paid for, and they bleed to death (in ink). Now Jake has to find out what is happening to his customers, including his new squeeze, Sina (Blake), before someone else dies.
Apart from Behr's horrific performance, the other actors acquit themselves well. Mia Blake is cute, and the scene where she gets tattooed by Jake is kind of hot because of it. Robbie Magasiva is also good as her suspicious brother. David Pane and Nathaniel Lees are also good in small roles.
One thing that the film lacks is a thorough enough explanation of Samoan beliefs. We're not talking detailed history or mythology here, but some of what is referenced is unexplained. The Pe'a tattoo, for example, plays an important part in the story, but its significance is not explained in the film, which leads to some confusion for those, such as myself, who don't know much about Samoan culture or mythology.
This was the film debut of Peter Burger, a TV veteran. If this is anything to go by, he has talent and an eye for atmosphere. The pacing is good, and as I said before, the CGI is excellent. He can also direct actors. Except for Behr. But as they say, there are only so many ways you can polish a turd.
It's such a pity that the producers made the colossal mistake of casting Behr in the movie. With someone who had even a minimum of talent, this would be well-worth releasing theatrically. As it is, it's just another generic horror movie.
Starring: Jason Behr, Mia Blake, Robbie Magasiva, David Pane, Nathaniel Lees
Rated R for Violence, Disturbing Images, Language and Brief Sexuality
"The Tattooist" is an intriguing mix of tattoos, ghost stories and buried secrets. Kind of like a Samoan "Stir of Echoes." The story, while a tad on the thin side, is reasonably involving, the special effects are inventive and visually dazzling. So why am I not recommending this film? Because the performance by the lead actor is the worst example of acting that I've ever seen.
The lead role is played by Jason Behr, a TV actor best known for playing one of the leads on the cult TV show "Roswell," is stupendously bad as the tattooist who goes messing around in things that he shouldn't. Behr is supposed to play a low-key everyman, which is more difficult than it sounds, but Behr speaks in an internalized monotone with a constant scowl and scrunched up face (and too much eye-liner). Instead of being an individual we can sympathize with, Jake Sawyer (as he is called) is a lifeless automaton. I kept waiting for the spirit to kill him with the fatal tattoo and let someone else take center stage. Behr is surrounded by a decent cast, but that can't save this ex-tween star from tanking the film. At least Lorenzo Lamas had an excuse for his wretched work in "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus." That was meant to be an Ed Wood-ish movie. Not that it helped him, but never mind.
Jake, as we learn, is the best tattooist in the world. His work is truly beautiful, and his talents are in high demand. He'll also do anything for a quick buck, including stealing designs, beliefs and tools from other cultures for his own monetary gain. This last bit is what gets him into trouble. He spies a Samoan ceremony getting underway, and he intends to steal their designs. He also steals one of their tattooing tools, which looks like a miniature rake. That's when he starts having weird nightmares and strange visions. He gets creeped out and tries to return the tool, but the damage is done. Everyone he tattoos ends up getting more lines than they paid for, and they bleed to death (in ink). Now Jake has to find out what is happening to his customers, including his new squeeze, Sina (Blake), before someone else dies.
Apart from Behr's horrific performance, the other actors acquit themselves well. Mia Blake is cute, and the scene where she gets tattooed by Jake is kind of hot because of it. Robbie Magasiva is also good as her suspicious brother. David Pane and Nathaniel Lees are also good in small roles.
One thing that the film lacks is a thorough enough explanation of Samoan beliefs. We're not talking detailed history or mythology here, but some of what is referenced is unexplained. The Pe'a tattoo, for example, plays an important part in the story, but its significance is not explained in the film, which leads to some confusion for those, such as myself, who don't know much about Samoan culture or mythology.
This was the film debut of Peter Burger, a TV veteran. If this is anything to go by, he has talent and an eye for atmosphere. The pacing is good, and as I said before, the CGI is excellent. He can also direct actors. Except for Behr. But as they say, there are only so many ways you can polish a turd.
It's such a pity that the producers made the colossal mistake of casting Behr in the movie. With someone who had even a minimum of talent, this would be well-worth releasing theatrically. As it is, it's just another generic horror movie.
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