Mike's Musings: The Bottom 10 of 2020

 2020 threw everyone for a lurch.  In one way or another, the COVID-19 epidemic touched everything and everyone.  It brought the world to a standstill and contributed to more poisonous politics and infighting.  The movie industry was hit hard with theaters closing early in the year and leaving the fate of blockbusters in doubt.  It caused a huge paradigm shift for Hollywood, and may have accelerated the inevitable shift to streaming services.  Whether this shift is permanent or if there is more life to be squeezed out of theaters remains to be seen once the pandemic passes.

Still, there was one comforting thought: there were movies coming out.  And that inevitably means that some are really good and some are absolutely terrible.  There were 12 candidates for my Bottom 10 list this year (probably more if I was being as ruthless as I should have been with some that squeaked by with a 2/4).  So here they are: the worst of 2020.

10.  The Binding.  Horror movies are supposed to shock us and make us uncomfortable.  That's why we go to them.  But it is hard to get scared in a movie with characters who are so lifeless and to be shocked when the plot is so predictable.  The most successful horror movies are made by the risk-takers, the rule-breakers and the ones who charge headfirst into uncharted territory.  Playing it safe may ease the minds of those holding the purse strings, but they won't see more than a casual return, if that, if there isn't anything to distinguish the film from others of its ilk.  That's the problem with "The Binding."  We've seen it all before.  And done much better too.

9.  Ainu Mosir.  There is a line between realism and lifeless.  Cinema has to reflect reality, not mimic it.  There is such a thing as grounding a film and avoiding manipulation, but it can't come at the expense of drama and storytelling.  That's what separates a masterpiece like "Boyhood" from crap like "Ainu Mosir." I admire the director's attempt, I suppose, but this movie bored me to tears. 

8.  A Nun's Curse.  Movies like "A Nun's Curse" are a comfort to film critics in this way: as many movies as we see, there is always boatloads of no-budget schlock that is guaranteed to take up a slot on our annual Bottom 10 lists.  "A Nun's Curse" is like that.  No name actors, a script that was scribbled by hacks, and a director who is clearly working with no money and has no discernible talent.  I can only recommend this movie for masochists or critics who were fortunate enough to avoid 9 worse movies by December 31.  Since that's past, there's virtually no reason to see this stinker.

7.  The Haunting of Alcatraz.  See above.

6.  Lost Girls.  There is a temptation to give movies some credit when they say something important or tell a story that needs to be told.  "Lost Girls" is one of those movies.  The story, how a serial killer ran free and the victims never received justice because they were prostitutes, is heartbreaking and outrageous.  But it's the filmmaker's job to make the audience feel that anger and passion.  This movie does not do that.  It's badly acted, poorly told, and worse, boring.  It takes a special kind of ineptitude to make a movie about a real-life serial killer boring, but this movie does it.

5.  Radioactive.  This one boggles the mind.  How can a movie about Marie Curie, one of the most important scientists who ever lived, be so boring?  Hiring Marjane Satrapi to direct the film is a start.  Satrapi is known only for her graphic novel "Persepolis," but has displayed no real filmmaking talent herself.  "Radioactive" isn't going to put her on the A-list.  It's hard to imagine a biopic more scrambled and more dull than this.  Satrapi doesn't know who Marie Curie is, what she did, or what she wants to say about her.  Watching this movie should have left me interested in its subject and respectful of what she accomplished.  Instead, it left me pissed off.

4.  Dolittle.  "Dolittle" is what happens when marketing and merchandising come before anything else.  Yeah, I know they are important to a film's success, especially when it costs a bloated $175 million.  But making a good movie was of less concern to all involved than getting as many stars as possible to star and get as many toys sold.  Like "The Great Wall" a few years ago, this movie is so blatantly broad, focused on its visuals, and pandering to a global audience that the story and the characters are an afterthought.  When you make a movie for everyone, you make a movie for no one.

3.  The Grudge (2020).  A remake of a remake.  That's really all that needs to be said.  This movie is incoherent, boring, self-indulgent and stinks more than a used jockstrap left in a toxic waste dump.  There is no reason to see it, there was no reason to make it other than to cash in on what little box office power the brand name has.  The producers of this movie should probably talk to their shrinks about their fear of risk before they get another movie.  Rebooting a franchise nearly 20 years after its release is questionable.  But one that was never that successful or relevant makes me wonder what else they are afraid of.

2.  The Lodge.  As bad as "The Grudge" (2020) was, it was at least just a cash cow.  "The Lodge" is different.  It's an "arty" horror film.  That means a focus on facial expressions and what it "means."  This is a movie about stupid characters doing reprehensible things.  That would be impressive if the movie could overcome that hurdle, but it doesn't.  I hated the characters and thought they deserved what they got.  The terror and dread that a movie like this feeds on don't come across when the director is more interested in being artistic and ironic about serious issues.  Had it been more honest, it might have worked better.

1.  The Devil All the Time.  I was surprised to learn that critics like this movie.  No one raved about it, but it received good reviews, and got a sort of rare 3/4 from James Berardinell.  You know what?  I don't care. I sat through this movie and felt more unclean and angered with every minute that passed.  An apologist could claim that it is meant to be "dark" and "bleak."  It's a valid defense if there was any passion or life to this movie.  There isn't.  Like "The Lodge," it's all cynicism passed off as irony and "art."  I was told I didn't "get" this movie.  But I saw this movie, and believe me, there's nothing to be "got."  It's just 2+ hours of watching vile, contemptible people dealing out pain and misery to others and, on the occasion when the film is merciful, receiving it in turn.  If only the pain and misery didn't get turned on to me.