The Pale Blue Eye

 1/4

Starring: Christian Bale, Harry Melling, Toby Jones, Simon McBurney, Timothy Spall, Lucy Boynton, Robert Duvall, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Gillian Anderson

Rated R for Some Violent Content and Bloody Images

And to think I was just starting to hope that 2023 would be different.  I mean, when a January PG-13 horror movie would be a contender for my Top 10 list, all bets are off.  Right?  Well, it's still January so Hollywood can turn things around, but any hopes that this year would be free from crap are now gone.  "The Pale Blue Eye" isn't just bad, it's an atrocity.

West Point Military Academy, 1803.  A young cadet has just been found hanging from a tree.  What appears to be a tragic suicide turns out to be a grisly murder after the poor lad has been found with his heart cut out.  A crack gumshoe by the name of Landor (Bale) has been asked to solve the mystery.  Helping him is another cadet by the name of Edgar A. Poe (Melling).  Of course, they quickly realize that things aren't nearly as simple as they seem.  And as they body count keeps rising, they find that time is against them.

This is one of those movies where it's impossible to believe just how bad it is.  Sure, Scott Cooper's talents as a director leave a lot to be desired, but it has an A-list cast and mysteries are a reliable source of entertainment provided they're at least competently made.  Yet with "The Pale Blue Eye," almost nothing works.  The film is paced like an Ozu film, has a plot that that is filled with giant plot holes and is so badly told that it is impossible to take seriously, and is saddled with usually reliable actors turning in terrible performances.  About the only thing I can praise about the film is the camerawork by Masanobu Takayanagi, who creates a wonderfully eerie setting.  It's the perfect place for horror, or at least it would be had the rest of the crew been anywhere near competent.

Few will argue that Christian Bale is one of the most intense and gifted actors working today.  He's played a yuppie serial killer, Batman and Dick Cheney.  There is a certain tendency from film critics and even connoisseurs  to soft-pedal or even excuse shoddy work from such talent, lest someone accuse them of having no taste.  I have no such fears here.  This will probably go down as the worst performance of Bale's career.  He fluctuates between boring and over-the-top with little room in-between.  Moments when he is credible are few.  Moments when he is interesting are non-existent.  Watching him in this movie is just embarrassing.

Harry Melling, having been freed from playing the loathsome cousin Dudley Dursley in the "Harry Potter" franchise, appears to be following in his co-stars footsteps and trying to find himself a new footing in the film world (like Robert Pattinson, he starred in "The Devil All the Time," although I hope he wishes he hadn't).  It's clear that he's capable of doing more than playing a fat brat and is willing to take plenty of chances in his performances.  But he's given such thin material to work with that there is little that he can do.  I certainly won't count him off but I hope that in his next film he finds a better vehicle for his talents.

Bale and Melling are surrounded by a solid supporting cast, but they range from the invisible to the simply awful.  Simon McBurney is unrecognizable as the officer who hired Landor and Toby Jones is his usual reliable self as the doctor on campus.  Lucy Boynton has all the charisma of a wooden log; with all the candles around her I'm surprised she didn't catch fire.  Charlotte Gainsbourg, a favorite of Lars von Trier, has so little screen time that I wondered what drew her to the film (working with Christian Bale or the paycheck would be my guess).  And normally reliable actors Gillian Anderson and Timothy Spall compete with each other to see who can go further over the top.  It's hard to decide who is worse.

After seeing four of his films now, I have to wonder exactly what producers see in Scott Cooper.  He's ambitious and willing to take risks, and there is no denying that he has a rapport with actors, particularly the difficult to work with Bale (they have collaborated on three films now).  Considering he started out as an actor, I guess that's to be expected.  But his vision consistently exceeds his grasp.  "Out of the Furnace" and "Black Mass" lacked focus.  He tried to do too much and as a result neither had the power or the drive that one would expect from a gritty revenge picture and a biopic of James "Whitey" Burger.  "Hostiles" was an improvement, albeit a marginal one, although his focus was misplaced.  With "The Pale Blue Eye," he has created a movie that dwarfs all of them for sheer ineptitude.  This is a movie directed by a man without a clue about technique, storytelling, or basic common sense.  There's a spooky (if unoriginal) story to be found here, but Cooper seems to be doing everything he can to avoid telling it simply and directly.  An example of how badly this film misfires is the twist ending.  Had I actually cared, it would have been brilliant.  Perhaps even on par with "Seven" if all the cards were set up right.  But it's so badly handled that it loses all of its potency.  And it takes forever to explain how it could have possibly happened in the way that it does.

There's no two ways about it: "The Pale Blue Eye" blows.  It's poorly paced, badly acted, stupidly plotted and almost completely without merit.  Worst of all, it's boring.  It's so bad that it can't even be viewed as camp.  This is a movie where you watch in stupefied silence, wondering how so much talent could create such an utter train wreck.  And before you figure it out, you'll fall asleep.  It's an utter disaster.