Mike's Movie Tips

3/4 Starring: Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell, Edward Burns, Titus Welliver, Genesis Rodriguez, Anthony Mackie, Ed Harris Rated PG-13 for Violence and Brief Strong Language Excepting the Katherine Heigl stinker " One for the Money ," 2012 has gotten off to a great start for Hollywood.  Only one movie out of the five that I've seen has been less than 2.5, which for the dumping month of January, is something of an accomplishment.  True, none of these have been great movies, but they're just as good as, if not better than, movies with budgets twice all of theirs combined. A man has checked into the Roosevelt hotel and walked out onto the window ledge (what hotel has high story windows that open up that easily, I don't know, but never mind).  Naturally, the police are called, and he'll only talk to one woman: Lydia Mercer (Banks), a negotiator who made national news after she failed to talk down a rookie cop from jumping off the Brooklyn Brid...

3/4 Starring: Ethan Hawke, Sam Neill, Claudia Karvan, Willem Dafoe, Michael Dorman Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence, Language and Brief Nudity "Daybreakers" is a vampire movie that bears a stronger likeness to "The Matrix," "Children of Men" and, believe it or not, Norman Rockwell-ish sitcoms of the 50s than "Twilight."  Or even "Dracula."  The film is built upon ideas rather than special effects (although there are a fair amount of those) and blood and gore (and there's plenty of that). The Spierig Brothers' film rests upon a unique foundation.  Ten years ago, a plague swept across the globe turning humans into vampires.  Vampires have adapted successfully and have thus become the dominant species on the planet...and caused homo sapiens to join the gorilla and the tiger on the endangered species list.  A businessman (or should that be business-pire?), Charles Bromley (Neill) is farming humans for sustenance while rese...

Film exists in various forms, from the short films that few people are able to see and the blockbusters that everyone sees.  But there are two types of films that are grouped together that are really two different types of movies: independent films and arthouse films. Before I start, I'm going to say that even though it may seem like I'm bashing mainstream movies, that is not my intent.  I have very mainstream tastes; I love "Titanic," "Avatar," and most everything that Jerry Bruckheimer has produced.  Of course, there are mainstream movies that I hate (the recent " One for the Money ," " Killer Elite " or " Soul Plane " for example), but just because it's shown in a multiplex doesn't mean it's a terrible movie. Now...people group independent and arthouse films together when they're really two different kinds of films, and it's not fair to either one.  It's an understandable tendency, after all they d...

1/4 Starring: Gabe Nevins, Dan Liu, Jake Miller, Taylor Momsen, Lauren McKinney Rated R for Some Disturbing Images, Language and Sexual Content At the center of "Paranoid Park" is an interesting idea: a disaffected teenager coming to terms with his role in an accidental death.  Unfortunately, the direction by acclaimed director Gus van Sant is extraordinarily self-indulgent, and he turns this potentially provocative material into a nonsensical, pretentious mess. Alex (Nevins) is a quiet skateboarder living in Portland, Oregon.  His parents are getting divorced, and he isn't sure if he likes his girlfriend (Momsen).  One day, a detectine (Liu) comes to the school asking questions about the recent death of a security guard who was run over by a train after getting hit with a skateboard. It's clear that Liu has Alex in his sights from fairly early on, but the truth about what happened that night isn't revealed until about halfway through the film.  And when...

1.5/4 Starring: Katherine Heigl, Jason O'Mara, Daniel Sunjata, Sherrie Shepard, Debra Monk Rated PG-13 for Violence, Sexual References and Language, Some Drug Material and Partial Nudity Is it a vote of confidence to say that the best thing about "One for the Money" is Katherine Heigl?  Didn't think so.  Heigl, the star of the inexplicably popular primetime soap "Grey's Anatomy" has comic timing, but is usually set on shrill.  Fortunately, director Julie Anne Robinson keeps her at less than alarm-clock level, although that by no means saves the movie. Stephanie Plum (Heigl) is a young woman with no money and now, no job.  Her cousin is a bail bondsman, and right out of the gate, she gets a chance to nab an old flame.  Joe Morelli (O'Mara) took her virginity in a bakery shop at age 17, but then didn't call...and Stephanie can hold a grudge.  Now, she's on to him because he skipped bail on a murder charge, and she needs the 50 grand for...

3/4 Starring: Ben Foster, Dennis Quaid, Antje Traue, Cam Gigandet Rated R for Strong Horror Violence and Language When discussing "Pandorum," one word comes to mind: grim.  This is a seriously dark and bleak sci-fi horror movie, and that is it's best asset.  Being completely alone in deep space has taken on a new meaning. A man wakes up inside a technological cocoon for no apparent reason.  He has no idea where he is or what he is doing there, and the only reason he remembers his name, Bower, is because it's posted on the door of the capsule he just stumbled out of.  The spaceship he finds himself on is completely deserted.  Other cocoons have been opened, but there's no one around.  Hours later, another man named Payton (Quaid) wakes up and together they work to figure out what is going on.  What starts out being a fight for their lives has turned into something much more desperate and precarious. The best thing the film has going for it is ...

4/4 Starring: Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Raymond J. Barry, R. Lee Ermey, Celia Weston Rated R for a Depiction of a Rape and Murder There is no doubt that "Dead Man Walking" is an intense movie.  A film in which the lead character bears witness to the pain of parents whose children were murdered and the murderer himself is bound to leave anyone shaken. Six years ago, Matthew Poncelet (Penn) and Carl Vitello (Michael Cullen) raped Hope Percy (Missy Yager) and then murdered her and her boyfriend, Walter Delacroix (Peter Saarsgard).  Vitello received life in prison, while Poncelet got a death sentence.  He writes a letter to a young nun named Helen Prejean (Sarandon), asking for spiritual guidance.  She visits him, but finds him to be an arrogant, hateful and racist young man.  But she sticks it out because she feels called to help this man. Sarandon and writer/director Tim Robbins are widely known as anti-death penalty advocates, but based on the film, yo...

3.5/4 Starring: Rodney Dangerfield, Jackee, Jonathan Brandis, Ilene Graff, Vinessa Shaw Rated PG-13 for Sex Related Dialogue Like "The Mighty Ducks," "Ladybugs" is a family sports comedy about taking a ragtag group of inept sports players and turning them into champions.  But in place of hockey, you have soccer, and instead of Emilio Estevez, you have Rodney Dangerfield. Chester (Dangerfield) is a salesman who is looking for a big promotion so he can marry his dreamgirl, Bess (Graff).  But while kissing ass, he ends up becoming the coach of the company soccer league--a sport which he knows nothing about.  And to make matters worse, the team is terrible.  Desperate (his boss says he'll get the promotion if he can win the championship), he gets his fiancee's son, Matthew (Brandis) to put on a wig and become their star soccer player.  But how long can he keep up the charade before he's caught? "Ladybugs" is really more of a comedy than a...

1.5/4 Starring: Richard Gere, Claire Danes, Kadee Strickland, Ray Wise, Russell Sams, Avril Lavigne, Matt Schluze, Kristina Sisco Rated R for Perverse Content involving Aberrant Sexuality and Strong Violence, and for Language One of my favorite TV shows is "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit."  It deals with horrendous crimes such as rape, incest, serial murder and torture, but it does so with intelligence, sensitivity and without ever exploiting the situation.  "The Flock" wants to do something similar, but if you watch one episode of "SVU," you'll realize how inferior the movie is. Errol Babbage is a registrant administrator for the Department of Public Safety, which means that he goes around interviewing sex offenders and making sure they're staying out of trouble.  Because of his paranoia and penchant for brutalizing the registrants, he is being forced into early retirement.  His replacement, Allison Lowry (Danes), tags along to learn ...

4/4 Starring: Freddie Cunliffe, Lara Belmont, Ray Winstone, Tilda Swinton, Colin Farrell (as Colin J. Farrell) Note: The version of the film that I saw was the unrated version.  For the record, the theatrical cut was rated R for Sexual Content, Some involving Molestation, and for Nudity, Language and a Scene of Violence One of the good things about independent films is that there is little enough money at stake that directors are willing to take chances.  Certainly, no major studio (or their independent arms) would allow any filmmaker to come near this story with a ten foot pole, but even if they did, they would never have allowed them to go as far as Tim Roth does in his unbelievably powerful directorial debut. Tom (Cunliffe) is a sullen young teenager who has just moved from London to Devon, a small English town in the middle of nowhere.  He is not happy about the move because he misses his friends.  Fortunately for him, he and his family are close knit: hi...

3/4 Starring:  Nate Parker, Tristan Wilds, Elijah Kelley, Ne-Yo, David Oyelowo, Terrence Howard, Cuba Gooding, Jr. Rated PG-13 for Some Sequences of War Violence In many ways, "Red Tails" is as much George Lucas' baby as "Star Wars."  He put up all the money to make it (which, including marketing, comes to a whopping $93 million), since studios didn't think foreign markets would be interested in a movie with an all-black cast (my oh my, how far we've come...).  Although his only official credit is that of an executive producer, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a hand in both writing and directing; if it were my money, I would have done so.  The successes, and flaws, in Lucas' storytelling capabilities are as apparent here as they are in his most famous saga. In 1942, the Tuskegee Airmen are an Army experiment: how do black pilots fare in combat.  The Army doesn't think much of them; the Airmen are given hand-me-down planes and sent o...

The Oscars: Hollywood's favorite night of self promotion.  Officially, it's to recognize the best movies of the year, but because it's plagued by self-promotion (Harvey Weinstein, that means you!), it's really just a bunch of ass-kissing.  That being said, here are the nominees and my thoughts on them (because publicity and ego are such a huge part of what determines a win, it's too early to predict the winners).  Note: There are a few of these that I haven't seen, like "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close," "The Artist," "Moneyball," "The Iron Lady," and "My Week with Marilyn."  I'll review those at a later date, but some won't be reviewed until they reach Blu Ray, like "The Artist" (silent movie in a theater with everyone munching on popcorn...no thanks). Best Picture: "The Artist," "The Descendants," "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close," "The Help,...

3/4 Starring: Scoot McNairy, Whitney Able Rated R for Language Made for a slim 800 g's, Gareth Brooks proves one thing: it is entirely possible to make a good science-fiction movie for almost nothing.  "Monsters" is an effective little movie with some decent scares, likable characters and an affecting and low-key romance. Six years ago, a satellite picked up on the possibility of extraterrestrial life.  A probe that was sent to collect samples crash landed in Mexico, leading to about half of that country to be quarantined.  Photographer Andrew Kaulder (McNairy) is on his way to getting a big break when he is tasked by his boss to bring back his daughter, Sam (Able).  Things go wrong, and they end up taking a dangerous route to the US border. The performances are effective.  I swear I've seen Scoot McNairy somewhere, although according to his iMDb profile, I haven't.  I'm sure I'll remember the actor that he reminds me of at some point and then ki...

I've been a fan of Tucker Max for a good few years.  I had picked up his book "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" one day in the airport, and have been a die-hard fan ever since.  I remember one night in college where I was reading his story " Tucker Goes to a Hockey Game " out loud to a friend, and I was laughing so hard that I had to hand the book over to him so he could finish.  Every time I read the story, I crack up laughing without fail. Max has been the source of a fair amount of controversy over the years, most of which is because he is accused of promoting a "rape culture."  Such accusations are not only ridiculous, but tantamount to slander. Rape is an act of violence, not sex.  It is used to humiliate victims, both male and female, and for rapists to feed on their victims' fear.  At no point does Max do this or anything that can be considered such.  True, he and his friends make statements about women that are hardly virtuous, but one m...

3/4 Starring: Johnny Depp, Frank Langella, Emmanuelle Seigner Rated R for Some Violence and Sexuality "The Ninth Gate" is another religious thriller that came out shortly before the new millennium.  This one, directed by Roman Polanski, is a creepy and disturbing mystery with a plot that grabs you and keeps you involved until the end. Dean Corso (Depp) is a shady rare book dealer who is contacted by Boris Balkan (Langella), one of his regular clients.  He owns a copy of "The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows," a book that is said to be able to summon the devil himself.  Only three copies are known to have survived, and Boris wants Corso to track down the others to find out which one is the real one.  Because Balkan is paying him a considerable amount of money, Corso agrees, even if he has to do some illegal things.  But when he starts seeing people following him, he wants out.  But Balkan tells him to find it...or else. The acting is effec...

3/4 Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Gene Hackman, Jason Lee, Ray Liotta, Anne Bancroft Rated PG-13 for Sex-Related Content Including Dialogue "Heartbreakers" is a smart and clever comedy about two con artists who would give James Dobson something to rant about.  If he's so obsessed with protecting the sanctity of marriage, he's got a lot on his hands with these two. Max (Weaver) and Paige (Hewitt) are a mother-daughter team who make boatloads of money by conning rich men.  Max seduces the would-be Mr. Right into marrying her after a brief courtship, and after they are married, Paige goes in to seduce the new groom.  In walks Max, who then gets boatloads of alimony.  Paige wants to go out on her own, which Max disagrees with.  But they're going to have to work together to pull off one last score in order to pay back taxes to the IRS.  Now they must work quickly to scam tobacco billionaire William B. Tensy (Hackman) in three months....

3/4 Starring: Carey Mulligan, Peter Sarsgaard, Alfred Molina, Dominic Cooper, Rosamund Pike Rated PG-13 for Mature Thematic Material involving Sexual Content and Smoking "An Education" is a formula story told so well that it doesn't seem like one.  The acting and characterization is of the highest caliber, and the dialogue is well-written.  But for all of that, director Lone Scherfig can't get the film to connect with us on an emotional level. Jenny (Mulligan) is a bright young student in 1960's England who is almost too smart for her own good.  Her father (Molina) has outlined her future at Oxford for her, but because she's a woman, her future is still grim.  Walking home one day in the pouring rain, she meets a man named David (Sarsgaard) who offers her a lift.  He's handsome, charming and intelligent, and they begin to date.  But is he really who he says he is, and is she willing to give up her future to be with him? The best thing about the f...

0.5/4 Starring: DMX, Nas, Taral Hicks, Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins, Method Man Rated R for Strong Violence, Language, Sexuality and Drug Use And the lesson learned from "Belly" is, there's a big difference between making a music video and a feature film. "Belly," which is a title that has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the film, is a terrible movie.  Like last years crapfest " Killer Elite ," it makes so little sense that after twenty minutes I gave up trying to figure out what the hell was going on.  There are two reasons for why this movie is so confused.  First, there is so much slang that not only are subtitles mandatory, but a translator is needed.  Second, director Hype Williams throws every visual trick he can think of at the screen.  Unfortunately, none of them have any purpose, and many are downright cheesy. As far as I could tell, the plot goes like this: Sincere (Nas) and Tommy aka Buns (DMX) are high rolling drug d...

2.5/4 Starring: Jensen Ackles, Jamie King, Kerr Smith, Kevin Tighe Rated R for Graphic Brutal Horror Violence and Grisly Images Throughout, Some Strong Sexuality, Graphic Nudity and Language Call "My Bloody Valentine 3D" a guilty pleasure.  It starts out being an unintentionally funny freakshow and ends up being a pretty freaky movie with a well-done climax.  I can't in good conscience recommend it, but for those who are looking for blood, gore, nudity and cheap shocks, this one will suffice. Ten years ago, a mine in the town of Harmony collapsed, killing a few trapped miners.  The lone survivor, Harry Warden, was in a coma until he awoke and brutally murdered 22 people with a pickax before being killed himself in a mine collapse.  Now, ten years later, the murders have started again.  Three survivors of the first massacre, Tom (Ackles), Axel (Smith) and Sarah (King) are at the center of it, and are racing to stop the bloodshed.  But who is the kill...

3/4 Starring (voices): Tate Donovan, Danny DeVito, James Woods, Susan Egan, Rip Torn Rated G In 1989, Disney ushered in the new Golden Age of Animation with "The Little Mermaid."  It wowed both critics and audiences alike.  Two years later, "Beauty and the Beast" became the first animated film ever to receive a Best Picture nod.  In 1994, "The Lion King" became one of the most successful films of all time (the 14th as of 2012), and grossing nearly a billion dollars worldwide.  Sadly, that's when the films tapered off.  They're still good movies, but Pixar took over most of the thunder a year later with "Toy Story," and hand drawn animation went out of vogue a few years later.  "Hercules," release in 1997, was definitely profitable, but didn't reverse the trend in quality.  Actually, next to "Pocahantas," it's the closest Disney Animation has come to a misfire. Hades (Woods) is steaming mad.  When his br...

2.5/4 Starring: Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton, Keke Palmer, Jeremy Jordan Rated PG-13 for Some Language including a Sexual Reference "Joyful Noise" is for people who love musicals so much that they are willing to overlook more than a few fatal flaws: subplots that appear and disappear with alarming frequency, a complete lack of focus, and the presence of a truly creepy character.  Still, the musical numbers are well staged, and it's hard not to get caught up in the whole thing by the second half.  It also has the decency not to force Christianity down our throats.  It may be about Christianity, but it never preaches. The choir director at a small town church (Kris Kristofferson in what is really a highly billed cameo) has died suddenly while on the way to the regional competition.  Surprisingly, the replacement is not his bereaved widow, G.G. Sparrow (Parton), who helped arrange the music.  Instead, the position goes to the official assistant director, Vi ...

A few days ago, I read an article on my Time Magazine app by Erika and Nicholas Christakis concerning the Supreme Court case involving the nude scene in the TV show "NYPD Blue."  The show, and the controversial episode in which actress Charlotte Ross stripped on prime time TV, has long since gone off the air, but it has popped up in conversation again now that the case is before the Supreme Court. Lots of people have raised questions about our seemingly hypocritical views on sex and profanity versus violence.  Film critics like Roger Ebert and James Berardinelli have written extensively about the subject many times, and a number of sociologists and psychologists have also written their views.  What's different about the Christakis' article is that they aren't coy about who they might offend.  They are blunt to the point where it's eye opening, and they are also right on the money. Personally, I can understand a parents' skittishness about their 5 year...

3/4 Starring: Jennifer Westfeldt, Heather Juergensen, Scott Cohen, Jackie Hoffman, Tovah Feldshuh Rated R for Sexual Content and Language Too often, we see movies that just exist.  They may be fun at best, but they're completely without purpose.  It is rare that we see a movie that is actually about something.  "Kissing Jessica Stein" is about love in its many forms. Jessica Stein (Westfeldt) is a perfectionist New Yorker who is stressed about still being single in her thirties.  The guys she dates are your assorted gallery of freaks and losers that a person like Jessica wants to avoid.  Then she sees an ad in the personals that appeals to her, but there's a problem: the writer is a woman.  Still, Jessica meets this person, whose name is Helen (Juergensen) and they hit it off.  She's soon falling for this vivacious woman, except that she's straight.  Or is she? The two stars, Westfeldt and Juergensen, adapted their play "Lipschtick" into...

3/4 Starring (voices): Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardly Smith, Harry Shearer, Hank Azaria, Albert Brooks Rated PG-13 for Irreverent Humor Throughout Ever since appearing on "The Tracey Ullman Show," "The Simpsons" has been a thread in the fabric of American culture.  Constantly poking fun at modern family dynamics and American life, it took the show nearly 20 years to make it to the big screen.  The film is worthy of the show's reputation. Springfield is the most polluted city in America.  The citizens clean up their act, but the temptation to get free doughnuts overtakes Homer (Castellaneta), and he throws his silo of pig crap into Lake Springfield.  As a result, the head of the EPA, a man named Russ Cargill (Brooks) traps the city in a giant dome to protect the rest of the US from the sloppy Springfieldians.  The Simpson family escapes through a sinkhole and heads north.  But will they grow a heart and go back to try to sa...

3.5/4 Starring (voices): Steve Blum, Beau Billinslea, Wendee Lee, Melissa Fahn, Jennifer Hale, Daran Norris Rated R for Some Violent Images For the longest time, I was extremely anti-anime.  I hated it as much as I hated Wes Anderson.  With crappy animation, lame stories and cringe-inducing dialogue and voice acting, stuff like "Dragonball Z" was not something I enjoyed.  That all changed in high school, when one of my friends got tired of me associating real anime with the crap on Cartoon Network (which, by the way, he hated just as much as I did) and dragged me to his Japanese Pop Culture club at school.  There, I saw the TV show "InuYasha," and my eyes were opened.  I'm not a die hard, but I'm just as willing to see anime movies as any other kind.  I was fortunate that my friend did this for me; if he hadn't, I wouldn't have discovered Hayao Miyazaki or this under-the-radar gem. Unlike most movies mad from TV shows, "Cowboy Bebop...

3/4 Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Caleb Landry Jones, Ben Foster, Kate Beckinsale, Giovanni Ribisi Rated R for Violence, Pervasive Language, and Brief Drug Use For once, Hollywood gets a year off to a solid start.  Although it's by no means perfect, Mark Wahlberg's new thriller, "Contraband" is a decent reason to head to the multiplexes, especially when the weather is this crummy. Chris Farraday (Wahlberg) used to be a career smuggler who has now gone straight.  He has his own security business and is living a decent blue-collar life with his wife, Kate (Beckinsale) and two children.  But when his brother-in-law Andy (Jones) is caught smuggling drugs and forced to throw $700,000 worth of cocaine overboard, he is forced to return to his life of crime in order to save Andy from certain death at the hands of a nasty criminal named Briggs (Ribisi). The film isn't so much plot oriented as it is detailing the ins and outs of pulling this kind of heist off.  Of cour...