Starship Troopers


3/4

Starring: Casper Van Dien, Denise Richards, Dina Meyer, Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Ironside, Brenda Strong

Rated R for Graphic Sci-Fi Violence and Gore, and for Some Language and Nudity

Call it the $100 million cult movie.  This is a B-movie through and through; not something that Hollywood usually throws this amount of money at (especially with a teen-unfriendly R rating).  But hey, if it works, who am I to complain?  It’s not my money.

The film takes place in the future.  Earth is ruled by a worldwide fascist government, and citizenship can only be gained through military service.  But the human species is in danger of extinction by a race of aliens that look like mega-sized beetles and crosses between crabs and spiders.  High school friends Johnny Rico (Van Dien), Carmen Ibanez (Richards), and Carl Jenkins (Harris) are wondering if their friendship can survive the war.

As a B-movie, normal criteria for grading movies do not apply.  The acting is horrible, the dialogue is ripe and hollow, and the special effects are hideously cheesy.  That’s not a problem because that’s how it’s supposed to be.  The problem is that its stars are not on the same page.

I have not seen Casper Van Dien in another film, save for a small role in Tim Burton’s “Sleepy Hollow,” and based on the evidence here, I have no desire to.  Van Dien has about as much range as a soap opera star, and he acts like it.  It would be too much to ask to have him carry even a small budget film on his shoulders, but a mega-budget movie like this is a disastrous decision.  Denise Richards is no better, but she’s not on screen for very long.  Neil Patrick Harris and Jake Busey are okay, but they’re outshone by newcomer Dina Meyer.  Meyer is terrific; she’s fresh and likable, and many of the scenes in which Van Dien appears are saved because Meyer is on-screen with him for so long.  Screen veterans Michael Ironside and Brenda Strong provide solid support.  Special mention has to go to Patrick Muldoon, whose performance as Richards’ new squeeze is embarrassingly bad, bringing to mind Lorenzo Lamas in “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.”

The film isn’t all action; the first 20 minutes or so are devoted to using a purposefully schlocky romantic triangle to introduce us to the characters.  It’s surprisingly reminiscent of the Archie comics: Van Dien is Archie, Richards is Veronica Lodge, Meyer is Betty, and Muldoon is Reggie.  Fortunately this segment doesn’t last long and we have Michael Ironside and Dina Meyer to balance out the talent-deficient Van Dien and Richards.

If there’s a single reason why this film is actually enjoyable, it’s Paul Verhoeven.  Verhoeven knows exactly what he wants this film to be, and he uses his actors’ deficiencies to his advantage.  Given the lack of talent on screen, it’s surprising that this film is as enjoyable as it is.  It’s dumb fun, but fun nonetheless.

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